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Friday, December 28, 2007

Second Beta - 2441!

Caution: Long post...don't know why...just wanted to get it all out I guess.

Okay, this is a little HCG level rose 155%. They were only looking for 66%! Of course, being the math teacher, I had to find out the percent of increase - such a dork. The catch that comes along with higher HCG is that I start to feel worse...I guess for every up, there is a down. They don't want to see me for a third blood test and I have my first ultrasound next Friday. I asked the nurse if it sounds like I have twins in there and she was hesitant to give me a straight answer (which I can totally understand). She said that it does sound a little high, but that she has also seen that number in people carrying one baby. So, we'll see next Friday at the ultrasound.

They also changed my meds...instead of taking PIO shots in my butt, I am not back on a progesterone suppository. It's not Prometrium (thank God), but it's called Endometrin...what it basically does is increase the amount of progesterone that I'm getting from 50 units to 200 units. This has also done a number on my boobs...holy crap! They're getting ridiculous! I have to take this until gestational week 10, so I guess I'll get used to wearing pantyliners again (and having gloppy vag).

So, I had so much nervous energy today that right after my blood test, I went to Target...I got one of those ornament organizers that my sister told me about...can't wait to undecorate! I spent about an hour there and resisted from buying any baby stuff...still a little on edge I guess. Then I went over to Barnes & Noble and did some browsing. Now, I could have gone home after Target (I was getting hungry enough - I'm eating every 1.5 hours now), but I was waiting for the mall to open. I needed to return a pair of pants that my Mom bought me from Victoria's Secret. So, I get to the mall and spend about 20 minutes reading in my car until the mall actually opened. Then, I went inside and VS took about forever to get their gates up...I browsed at Bath & Body Works though...great sales right now! So, I got inside VS and found the pajamas that I wanted instead of the pants and went to the counter. My Mom had given me the receipt, so I thought this would be a breeze. I get to the counter and the girl tells me that since the pants were bought online, they couldn't accept them. I asked why not and she tells me that they're two different companies - what the hell is that? I felt like I was going to wig out on the poor girl, so I took my stuff, put the pajamas back (even though I really wanted them), and left the mall.

I call my husband to vent and his response was "why didn't get the pajamas anyway?" That was a surprise because (just like everyone) we're trying to pay off Christmas. Then he offered to stop by the mall and get them for me after work! I almost ran off the road. He's being so great and he's so excited. He's doing everything in his power to make life easier for me since I am restricted by tiredness, queasiness, and just feeling out of it. I give him all the credit in the world.

Then I come home and cleaned like a maniac...I think I had some nervous energy to burn before the doctor's office called. I haven't cleaned like that since before the retrieval. It felt good to get something accomplished. I'm noticing that I feel really good during the day (aside from the hunger and constant need to pee) and feeling gross in the afternoon/evening. So, if I promised to call you with the news tonight, please know that I haven't because most of the time that I'm opening up my mouth to talk, I just don't know what else will come along. Hopefully this will serve as an update since I feel so crappy. I finally laid down for a little nap (thank God for teacher vacations!) and the phone rang with the news...2441...I love that number! I called Bill and told him (he was at the mall). He was ecstatic - especially at the fact that they didn't want to see me back for any more blood tests...he told me at this point, since it's over 2000, they assume that everything is good to go. He knows more about this than I do - I swear.

Then I had a friend visit with her baby and we spent some really good time together. With everything that occurs over the holidays, I miss just spending time with always seems so rushed. She is pregnant (due in February!) and it was just nice to bounce some ideas off her and talk about things that actually had a positive ring. She's been great all along, but I just feel that I haven't given her pregnancy enough attention b/c I've been so overwhelmed with my own stuff. There is so much guilt that comes with infertility, but most of all, I am constantly guilty of not being myself/not thinking of other people enough...I used to be happier person who could actually focus on other people's needs, but I have really had to focus on what we're trying to do. It's been tough to make that shift, but obviously worth it.

Toward the end of her visit, I started to feel like absolute shit (felt guilty that I couldn't hang). Once she left, I crashed and fell asleep for about an hour. I'm feeling better now, but am still having trouble with the whole getting off the couch thing. Bill is making dinner and telling me not to worry about relaxing...gotta love him.

That's all for now. We're going to do Christmas with Bill's family tomorrow...looking forward to that and hoping that I don't crash in the middle of it. I've really been craving beer (even thought I'm usually a pinot grigio girl), but no beer for me. Okay, simply writing the word "beer" just made my stomach turn, so I think I'd better go to doing nothing. Thanks for all of your support...couldn't do it without it! BTW...television SUCKS tonight!