I think I just needed to get out of the house for a little while. So, upon Bill's advice, I went out on Thursday for a pedicure. First of all, my toenails looked horrible...I mean, they were painted, but so long! Ewwww!!!! Second of all, his Mom was still here and didn't mind taking care of them at all while I was out. So, I took the jaunt. I actually drove! I hadn't drive since week 32 of my pregnancy, so that was like 8 weeks! I was cautious, but it came right back to me. I was so happy to get out of the house that I teared up a few times on the way to the nail place...how sad is that? So, I sat in the new chairs that they have at the pedicure sinks and allowed myself to enjoy the massage (I couldn't do this while I was prego b/c I was nervous that I'd have a babyshake in there) as well as watch Days of Our Lives. I was in my glory...I didn't even need the latest issue of People! By the time I was finished, I was totally relaxed and starting to feel more like myself. So, I'll plan these little trips out by myself during the week after Bill gets home from work...I need them!
The twins are great...Matthew makes me laugh while Hailey makes me love. He is such a tough baby and holding his head up like crazy. Bill's Mom was so surprised b/c he does it for like 30 seconds at a time! He's Superbaby! Bill brought him in for nursing the other night and I laid him on my chest until Hailey was ready...he arched his back and tried to nurse through my shirt...it just made me laugh and it was the first time that day that I really laughed! Hailey is such a love that I can't stop looking at her. She is adorable and just gives you these looks that makes you fall more in love with her. She has the longest arms, legs, and fingers when she actually unfurls herself. Normally she has herself curled up like a little pill bug! She stares at your face without looking away and just messes around with her face while she's doing that...you can't look away either! I just love them.
I have to say that given the fact that I never thought I'd make it this far in my quest for babies, I am not taking this for granted. I am trying to document as much of these early days as possible with this blog and journals. I don't want to forget even though I may complain. I feel like such a shit when I complain...I wanted this so badly. I am so happy and really know that I got what I wanted...how often does that happen? Well, it should happen more...people deserve it and deserve the happiness that accompanies persevering for what you want. I just can't believe that they came out of me and that they came out so perfect (yea...I'm biased)! So, even though my last post was a little bit of a pity party, I don't want to give the impression that I'm like that every day. I'm learning more about them every single day and I'm also learning how to take care of them in the way that they need. I want to be the best for them and even when I'm not, I will try my best. They deserve it...thanks for all of the supportive comments...I needed them and they kept me going on a down day.
Now, I'll go eat dinner, get ready to nurse (again), and go to bed at 9:00 on a Saturday night. Who would have thought this would be my life? I'm so lucky!
Ummm...Please Don't Steal My Craziness...Okay? Thanks!
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2 comments:
So glad you get to get out for a quick pamper! You sound so much better today. This is your blog and your journey, so don't feel bad about complaining. No matter how hard we want to be parents, it is still going to be hard, right? Plus, I have a vested interest in reading your honesty. I need to know what I'm in for!
I really wanted to comment on your last post but as you fill with twins, you rarely have free hands :)
You are where I was a couple months ago. I hated not absolutely loving my new life. I felt SO guilty. I am not going to lie, things are probably not going to get that much better in the next couple of months. Yes they eventually learn to like things like their bouncer and it will buy you time. But for some reason, they tend to get even more time consuming because they dont seem to nap as easily or as much. It is so frustrating! One little bit of advice...we were trying to keep them up til 9 or 10 or so at first, so they'd "sleep through the night". But once they hit 2 months we realized (read it somewhere) That going to bed earlier is preferable for them. So around 7 or 8 weeks we got into the routine of feeding around 5pm, playing a bit, bathing around 6:30, and then one last feeding at 7pm...now its like clockwork and at 7:30 their eyes are shut...You will still have to get up and feed them though, because they arent ready to sleep through the night...mine still dont and they are almost 14 wks.
I often fantasize about my old life of doing nothing, but when I look at these little smiling faces....WOW. Thats something to look forward to, once they start smiling you get something in return, really makes a difference.
Twins is hard, oh so hard. I cried almost every other day during my whole maternity leave. I kept waiting for things to get better. Really I just had some good days and bad days with them, and now that I am back at work Ive regained a little bit of my sanity but Id sure rather be spending every day with them...
They are in daycare now and my little girl has her first daycare cold :( The sneezing and coughing breaks your heart!
So glad you got out for the pedicure...you deserve it and something just like it every week :)
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