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Friday, January 18, 2008

Graduation Day

We have officially graduated from the fertility clinic and I'm kind of sad. Weird, huh? I totally resisted having to go there in the first place and now I don't want to leave. These are the people who worked so hard (in conjunction with Bill and I) to give us what we so desperately wanted and couldn't do ourselves. They have all been so nice and supportive and patient with all my questions and appointments and everything.

Today's ultrasound went great. Both babies looked great and they even have little arms now! I didn't scan the pics at work today, but trust me, they're doing great. The heartbeats are 150 which is just where they should be and they're measuring at 8 weeks and 7 weeks 6 days. Seeing them there and having them look just a little more like humans that beans was awesome. The doctor asked if we had any questions and I did have a couple. The first could have been completely irrational, but I had to ask it anyway, "are the medications that I'm taking right now keeping me pregnant?" I don't know why I had to ask this question, but I have been leaving on medications this entire time and now they're asking me to abandon them. This is another weird thing...I loathed that box/drawer of medications for so long...they were a symbol of the failure that my own body had handed me. Yet I persevered and put them in all of the orifices of my body just like I was told...I was religious about it. Now I feel guilt about leaving them behind? Weird! Turns out that those medications were mainly to prepare my body to handle the pregnancy...now the placentas have taken over and they're maintaining the pregnancy...just like real pregnant woman! Then I asked about my cervix and how the OB might handle this...my cervix is 1/3 the size of a normal cervix, so I'm nervous about carrying twins. The doctor put my mind at ease and I guess I'll just wait and see what my OB says.

Then we met with the nurses and they told us how to wean off the medications, gave us a form to fill out and send back when we give birth (OMG, we're giving birth!), and a list of things to do in the first trimester. They were so happy for us and I just realized that they must feel a huge sense of accomplishment when this works. Even though they act like they're not invested, they probably actually are.

So, then I went to school, screwed around all morning, ate everything in sight, did some work in the afternoon and went home. It was a good day and it's really nice to be able to say that. I can't believe how lucky we are and I keep reminding myself every day how lucky we are. This weekend will include hanging out with my college friends, breakfast with a good friend who I haven't seen in a while, and watching Bill work around the house. He's been so great. I don't know how he's been putting up with me, but he has been doing it with a smile! That's all for now...have a great weekend!