Monday, October 27, 2008
So, my babies are 10 weeks old. I still can't believe that I have two of them sometimes...it's amazing that we are actually still alive. We have been blessed with really good babies...maybe that's why when they have an "off day," I really can't handle it.
Today Hailey was inconsolable. She wouldn't sleep (I can't figure out why)...everything was fine. She was changed, fed, and happy yet every time I tried to put her down for a nap, she would freak out. She napped for 45 minutes at each nap time. Matthew was good until the afternoon and then he wanted to be up too. There was no way I could console both of them at the same time, so I ran around the house like an idiot trying to soothe babies. Matthew was also thinking it was fun to spit up every time I changed his (and my) outfit. He would do it with a smile, so I couldn't be mad, but I ran out of clothes - for me and him!
Bill called and asked how my day was going...I lied. I don't know why I equate having a bad day with being a bad Mommy...that's a little demented. Plus it doesn't give him a good picture of what he's walking into. He had no idea that neither child would sleep and no matter what we did, they weren't going to be happy. He also called on the way home to remind me that I had a hair appointment tonight...oh, that sounds like fun (aka - I can get out of the house)! How could I forget?
When Bill finally got home, I handed him Matthew. Hailey was in her bed "sleeping"...that means she was lying there waiting for me to calm down and then she would start crying. Bill fed Matthew again and he took it...why won't he take it? That kid loves to eat. As soon as we got him fed, Hailey started crying again. At this point, I was tearing up b/c I just didn't know what to do. I had just fed them 1.5 hours before! So, we fed Hailey again and she calmed down...while we were doing this, Bill was trying to put Matthew down, but he wasn't having it! By this time, I had to get going to my hair appointment and Bill basically shoved me out the door - both babies were awake and it didn't look good for him.
I felt guilty leaving...I don't know why. Bill is incredibly capable, but I felt that I had set this up (yeah...reality is not my friend right now) and I was leaving him with my mess...mind you, I had done nothing differently than I had any other day. So, I finally get to the hair appointment and the receptionist (who was on a personal phone call - annoying) asked me to have a seat. I texted a few people (to whom I actually owe phone calls, but just can't manage the phone) and waited there. While I waited, I read an article about losing your femininity. It was very interesting...it talked about how women don't spend enough time together and build their relationships and that's why so many of us are lonely. True dat!
So, I'm waiting...and waiting...and waiting. At this point, I had waited 20 minutes. I asked how much longer it would be (I was the only one waiting). My hair dresser finally came up front and asked if I could wait for a little bit longer and asked about the babies and if it would be okay (which was actually pretty nice). I told her I would check and I texted Bill to tell him that I was going to see if I could get another appointment. He told me to stay, but I could feel myself losing it. So, I made another appointment and high-tailed it out of there. No sooner did the cool air hit my face than I started crying. I'm not talking my eyes teared up and I wept a little bit. I'm talking sobbing...gross, ugly, gasping crying. Why? I just had it. With all that went wrong today (and yes, I know it could have been worse), I just needed this to go right and it didn't. I cried all the way home and until I made it in the door. And there's Bill...Matthew is in his arms. Hailey is sleeping in the bouncer and I am crying like an idiot. He must have thought I was crazy.
So, we decided to give them baths (always calms them down...I'm considering just letting them hang out in the bathtub all day long if we have another day like this) and feed them to get them ready for bed. I had to get them back on the same schedule. Now they are finally in bed and quiet...it took a while for them to get quiet, but they are now. So, here I sit...with my beer (thank God...we started these while we were feeding them...we needed a break), my husband, my dog, my babies, and my still nasty hair in my quiet house. Happy 10 Weeks!!!