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Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Poop...it happens...

I figured that for as much as we talk about poop in my house, I had to post about it. It's only fair that you are subjected to as much poop talk as I!

As a mother of twins, I am more aware of poop than I ever have been. Full conversations revolve around poop without a thought of decorum or appropriateness. Here are some phrases that are often thrown around my house:
  • "When was the last time he/she pooped?"
  • "What did his/her poop look like?"
  • "Does she/he smell like poop?"
  • "Do you think that poop went up his/her back?"
  • "Did you go poopy?"
  • "This poop smells! You're stinky!!!"
  • "I can't pick him/her up right now. I have to poop."
  • "Did anyone poop overnight?"
  • "Is that poop on your hand?"
I never thought that I'd talk about it as much as I do. My sister and I are big fans of making poop/fart jokes...we think it's hysterical and we can't figure it out. Where do the roots of this problem lie? We have no idea, but every time we're together and most times that we talk on the phone, it comes up and we end up laughing until we're crying. Here are some of the most common poops that occur in our house:
  • The "Up The Back" Poop - this occurs when a child pooped and we unknowingly put them in the exersaucer/jumperoo for a little while. As the child plays/jumps, the seat acts as a force that exerts the poop up the back of the diaper and quite often over the top of the diaper. Nice, huh?
  • The "OMG...It's a Little Turd that Smells Horrific" Poop - Hailey is known for these. She'll try and try to get something out. When she finally succeeds, we go to change her only to realize that this little tiny turd smells very much like old people poop! Oh, and it radiates too.
  • The "How Many Colors Can It Be?" Poop - Self-explanatory.
  • The "How Did It Become Stuck to Your Butt?" Poop - The child just pooped, yet this poop is stuck to his/her butt like it's been there forever. I have wished on numerous occasions that children had a little teflon on their butt or that I could spray their butt with cooking spray. I never have...it would just help every now and then.
  • The "Roll Out of the Diaper and on to the Floor" Poop - Again, self-explanatory.
  • The "Don't You Dare Stick Your Hands Down There Yet!" Poop - This is when your innocent little child just can't help himself/herself from touching "down there" and you have yet to get that area clean. You're not only holding feet and legs up in the air, but now you're responsible for that rogue hand that only has one thing in mind.
I'm sure there are others, but the little poop-angels just woke up from their slumber. If you have any you'd like to add, please feel free. We're all about poop around here...no judgments!