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Sunday, May 17, 2009

Yeah...I Spike My Kids' Food...So What??

They are soooo not into drinking their bottles. Maybe I introduced solids too early. Maybe they're teething. Maybe I'm just a bad Mom. Maybe formula tastes like shit and after smelling it today, I don't blame them one single bit! Maybe they're intelligent enough to know that milk is much better for them. Maybe my kids are trying to tell me something. Too bad everyone else says that my kids not drinking formula sucks and that they need it for development or they'll be short and stupid and never get married...

So, since they're not drinking their bottles, I decided to take another tactic...that's right...tactic...this is war! When I give them babies their bottles, they are excited. Arms flapping, excited noises coming out of their faces, and truly happy grins. They are happy to put the bottle in their mouth for the first 30 seconds. Then it all goes downhill. They start to play with the bottles. They twist the nipples (thank God I'm not BF-ing anymore...I'd be deformed). They turn them upside down, throw them off the couch, treat them like much can YOU bench??? 4 ounces??? So, I decided to spike their food with formula. I empty out the jars of delicious organic (yeah, clearly we're bad parents because of this whole formula thing) food into bowls, stir in a scoop of formula, and feed them as usual. They have no freaking idea. I can't take all of the credit for this...I did read it somewhere, but thank God my kids are going to develop well...thank God formula will do everything that I couldn't do by being a good breastfeeder...please sense the sarcasm. I wish I could have breastfed my kids for a year like a good Mommy, but it just didn't work out. I wish my kids liked their bottles...I mean, what kids don't like their bottles? People have to work soooo hard to get their kids to give up the bottle. Can we just say that my kids are advanced in realizing that formula (while nutritious and all that crap) tastes like ass??? God, my kids are smart...I'm so lucky! ;)