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Saturday, July 11, 2009

I used the daycare...I felt guilty...I survived...we all did!

So, in a quest to get more time with my husband, I decided to go ahead and use the day care at our gym. Our normal routine has been him getting home at 4:30, the whole family going for a walk, one of us leaving to go to the gym while the other one does dinner, the parent who went to the gym returning to help with baths and bedtime, bedtime, the other parent leaves to go to the gym while the one who already went makes dinner and eats, ending with the "late" gym parent coming home, eating late, and us both falling into bed! It was exhausting and Bill and I never got to spend any time together.

Friday, the babies took a good nap in the morning and woke up in good spirits. I sucked it up, got my gym gear on, and drove over. The day care is a little noisy and distracting, but I thought that might be a good thing...they wouldn't see me leave! I got them both checked in and out of the stroller when a very nice girl came over to help me and start playing with the kids. There were about 3-4 kids around their ages that she was sitting with. That made me feel good b/c they wouldn't just get left there to their own devices. Matthew was fine. Hailey was fine. I speedily made my way to the door and up to the cardio section. Before I knew it, I was calling Bill at work. This is a rarity because I HATE people who talk on their phones while they're doing cardio. I think it is so rude and borders on noise pollution. No one was around me, so I called him and almost started crying because I felt so guilty. Why did I feel guilty? Do I not deserve to work out? He calmed me down (poor guy...it was his birthday and he has an overly guilty mother on the phone to appease) and I finished my work out. I didn't even go in to check on them between cardio and weights. I was quite proud of myself. All in all, I probably worked out for about 40 minutes...not bad for my first time.

I enter the day care to pick the babies up and Matthew is in the girl's arms. He is blubbering...we're talking snot coming down his face, eyes all red and teary, and he isn't able to catch his breath. I believe Opr.ah calls this the "ugly cry." I felt horrible. How could I have left him? Just kidding...I thought he was overreacting frankly. She said that he cried for the whole time on and off. She held him most of the time though - which is great! Hailey was fine...she was just sitting there in the middle of a pile of toys looking quite satisfied that her mother had abandoned her (kidding again). He didn't really calm down until we pulled into the driveway. He was fine for the rest of the day. I think it actually wore them out b/c they slept for 2.25 hours that afternoon!

I am not sorry that I did it. I need to get things done during the day and if that is one of the perks of this gym, why shouldn't I take advantage of it? We're paying for it after all. Plus, it will get them used to being in different places and I'd much rather a 10.5 month old kid crying and carrying on because they were left in a day care than a 2.5 year old kid. I'm sure that Matthew is much easier to handle now than he will be in 2 years. I give much credit to the girl who works there...she was great and just took it all in stride. I'm sure she's seen worse! So, thanks for all of your advice to go ahead and do it...I needed a few little pushes!