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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

I Really Wish I Could Get This Woman's Bare Ass Out of My Head...Lovely, Huh?

Did that title get your attention? I swear!!

I tutor kids after school to make extra money and to keep my head in the "I'm going to go back to work someday, so don't forget how to teach" game. I have about seven kids at this point. Most of the mothers are typical mothers...cute, put-together, and nice. There is one though that I can't get out of my mind...in so many ways (hence the title of this post).

She is tall, blond, most definitely has fake boobs, and is in amazing shape. She is very striking and looks very different from most of the other Moms in the area. I never knew what she did (except stay home and take care of the seven kids she and her husband have) until she told me one day. She's a personal trainer. She also travels a lot and has a busy schedule (or so it seems as she keeps missing our tutoring sessions). I was wondering why she traveled to much, so I asked her son. He said that she worked different "shows" and "events." Okay, fine...people work at conventions and things like that. No biggie.

One day he son comes in and he's visibly annoyed with something. I asked him about it and he said that his mother got a job for some photo shoot and couldn't stop talking about it. He said that he didn't care about it and just wished she would stop talking about it. I mentioned this to my husband (computer geek extraordinaire) and he starts to Goo.gle like crazy. He ends up finding a few pictures of her. Most of them are for fitness things, but then we find the piece de resistance.

It's looks like a car show in Vegas (or some other seedy convention center) and there are muscular guys surrounded by muscular girls. They're all holding some fitness bar or powder or something like that. All of the sudden, I see it...oh no...please don't let me see this. There is my student's mother, tanned ass to the camera, looking over her shoulder, with a thong bathing suit on. NOOOOOOOO!!!!

She's flanking an uber-muscular guy who happens to be holding these bars. There is another girl on the other side, but at least her ass is partially covered. No, not my Mom...bare ass. I just can't believe it. In today's society, to have pictures of your ass where any 14-year old (i.e. your son's friends) can find you...I just don't get it.

So, now, every single time she comes into the library, I can only picture her tanned bare ass. It's embarrassing for me, but the thing is, I have nothing to be embarrassed about (except a natural voyeuristic curiosity)!!! Here's the real issue...having suffered through, ahem, experienced a twin pregnancy, I constantly wonder what other mother's stomachs look like...do they have stretch marks? Do they experience the same lovely pouch of skin/fat that I do? Or are they completely flat again? This woman has had several kids and I would say is well into her 40s, so I'm curious...what does she look like from the front??? Google is calling my name again!