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Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Hmmm, so, umm, yeah...

I may be seriously starting to look into adoption. Bill and I were talking about it the other night (we've talked about it before) and with all of the talk about the kids in Haiti, it may be something to consider. We're in the very preliminary stages (as it seems so confusing from a foreign country where you don't understand the language) and it's a little overwhelming. So, as is my style, I must list it out:

Why we would do it:
  • It would help a child who has no one.
  • It just seems like the right thing to do.
  • I am willing to take an older kid...not set on an infant.
  • We really believe we could give a child a safe, comfortable, happy home.
Why we would not do it:
  • I have no idea how much money this could be and we're not exactly swimming in it.
  • It would definitely change our family dynamic and things are pretty good right now.
  • We'd have to buy a mini-van (shallow, ain't I?).
  • The twin bond is pretty strong and I wouldn't want another child to feel left out or different...there is a lot that comes with being adopted and am I really qualified to deal with that?
Thoughts? Opinions? Experiences? I usually don't ask for those things, but I am really torn by this. I am a little hesitant because of how much time it could take too...who knows where we'll be in 24 months? I am also hesitant because of how unfamiliar I am with the whole adoption process...who do you trust? Which agency can you work with? Do you have to have a lawyer? Can we handle raising another child? When you look at the cost of raising a kid over their lifetime, it really makes you think. Hmmm, so, umm, yeah...a little conflicted am I?


Mandy @ The Party of 3 said...

:) Adoption is a big step in life but so is marriage, parenthood, buying a house etc. My husband and I adopted our daughter from birth and are currently starting the adoption process again. The main reason I blog is to spread the word of adoption. If you have time stop by!

Mandibula said...

I was sooo thinking about this today. However we lack the fundage, the space, and the sanity right now.

Oh and the mini van- SO UNCOOL! LOL! Get an SUV with 3rd row seats!

Adriane said...

My Mom and I were just talking about the Haitian kids yesterday. We are in no position to adopt right now, but my Mom and Dad have expressed interest and are considering looking into it. I am not sure where to start, but I think you should have a lawyer. I am zero help, clearly. Good luck on this - I am excited to hear how it all goes. Sorry about the minivan, but I drive a freaking Suburban now. Yahoo.

Meant to be a mom said...

Wow, what a big decision. I think adoption is an absolutely beautiful act. If you are able to do it than that is wonderful. I'm sure it would change things in your life but hopefully for the better.
As far as legalities go and money I can't answer those questions. I haven't personally gone through it quite yet. However my hubby and I are interested to adopt one day.

I hope you guys are able to find peace in whatever decision you make.

Barbara Manatee said...

wow! that's some big thoughts! I'll admit I had given adoption some thought back when we were TTC. My dad was adopted so I know my family has been blessed by someone's decision to do that for a child. I've also VERY seriously thought about being a surrogate. My best friend has been TTC for years and still has no children. As our baby gets a lil older...I'd seriously like to offer to carry a baby for her...we'll see

prashant said...

the space, and the sanity right now.

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