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Thursday, March 11, 2010

Things I Need To Remember As I Temporarily Resume Adulthood

Holy crap...this is my 400th post...wow.

So, anyway, I'm visiting my sister this weekend sans children.

That's right...all by myself.

So, I was thinking what this weekend would be like. How will I be different?

Here's how:

  • I will not repeatedly ask anyone if they have pooped.
  • I will most certainly not sniff anyone's tushie to see if they have pooped.
  • I will not use the word tushie.
  • I will not ask if the restaurant has a children's menu.
  • I will not wipe anyone's nose.
  • I will not use a Wet-One to sanitize our table and chairs when we go out to eat.
  • I will not survey stores prior to entering to see if our double stroller can fit down the aisles.
  • I will not put anyone in the car before I put myself in the car.
  • I will not over-exuberantly point out trucks, motorcycles, birds, or fire engines when I'm in a car or walking down the street.
  • I will not weigh my bag down with diapers, wipes, sippy cups, snacks, cars, books, or an emergency box of yogurt covered raisins.
  • I will play loud music while putting my makeup on.
  • If someone picks up something that remotely resembles a bat or a sword, I will not remind them that it is not a weapon and that they should not hit anyone and that it is not nice.
  • I will not remind anyone that head butting is a no-no.
  • I will not wonder where random stains on my shirt came from.
  • I will wear shoes inside the house.
  • I will not wonder if teething is the reason for anyone being snippy with me.
  • I will not worry about getting peed on.
  • I will not recite our entire day's itinerary to anyone in a very clear and upbeat voice.
  • I will not wonder if I will make it down the stairs in one piece because my arms are laden with very heavy babies.
  • I will not open or climb gates at every turn.
  • I will not leave the bathroom door open when peeing just in case someone "misses me."
  • I will not worry that my necklace will bruise anyone's head from them repeatedly slamming their skull against my chest.
  • I will not wonder if my hands smell like poop.
  • I will not forget every conversation I have this weekend.
Wow...that is a lot that I will not do.

Seriously though, Husband will do great. He's actually planning an outing or two. That's crazy b/c in all of the time that we have had these two little ones with us, I think that Bill has taken both of them out in public...ummm...let me count...once? I think I'm being generous there (he would definitely disagree with me). He'll be fine though...it doesn't help that heavy rain is forecasted for the entire weekend...that makes it 10x tougher!

I wonder if he'll blog for me...that would be awesome, wouldn't it?

I will miss them terribly, but it's good to get away. I really need to hang with my sister and my Mom...and myself!

14 comments:

For the Love of Naps - Sarah said...

Good for you! It is sooooo good to get away. It is soooo good to let daddy be a "full time without interruption daddy". You and he will find more appreciation for each other and the little things in life. Enjoy!

Manda said...

i was kinda hoping you were going to smell my tushie! oh and point out the fire trucks! i love fire trucks!

can't wait to see you :) thanks bill!!!

jdbert said...

If I drink too much this weekend (it is the ACC b-ball tournament weekend after all), you might have to worry about getting peed on.

JK - It'll be great to see you this weekend!

Amanda said...

This post is hilarious...the comments...OMG too funny! I was even going to mention that if you go out at night you may have to worry about getting peed on. Hahaha!

I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

Good luck Bill!

Stepping On Cheerios said...

I had to laugh at the stains on shirt comment!

AND

He should DEFINATELY post a blog about his weekend as a mommy:)

Adriane said...

I am SOOOOOOOO jealous! Have a great time!!

OK, on your list the one that cracked me up the most was "I will not recite our entire day's itinerary to anyone in a very clear and upbeat voice."

LOL! I so do the same thing.

AMEN for yogurt covered raisins. They have saved my ass countless times. And the fruit snacks.

Kelly said...

Oh my goodness- have fun- you deserve it!!!

Meant to be a mom said...

I hope you have a great time with your mom and sis. You deserve a girls day/night atleast once a month. Its for sanity perpouses.

Danifred said...

Yep, we are living parallel lives.

Have so much fun. Enjoy your non-poop smelling hands! :)

Mom said...

Wait! Wait! Since I'm retiring soon, that means I am in my twilight years. And that means that I can pee anytime I want! And I might have lapses in memory so you can point out the street, my fork, perhaps the fact that you and Manda are my daughters.....and on and on and on. Hee Hee

mrs. b. said...

omg, THIS was hilarious. my fave "will not" is this one:

I will not worry about getting peed on.

loves it. have fun, mama! you deserve it.

Amy said...

I'd still use the hand sanitizer in every restaurant; you know me.

One Take On Life - Heather said...

I love the list of all the things you won't have to do. Sounds glorious! Have an amazing time and relish having a purse that is a purse and not a diaper bag/purse.

Barbara Manatee said...

hope you have a great weekend at your sister's!! I have 2 (separate) days coming up that I'll get to spend with my sis sans kids. A bridal shower this weekend and then a conference next week that we're both attending. It will be nice to spend the day with her while we're both not juggling kids...has only happened 1 other time in 3.5 years! whoa!