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Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Nervous Talkers???

Okay, I'll admit it...I may be the one who is nervous about talking.

It doesn't seem to bother the Crazies in the least.

I'm more nervous about Hailey than I am about Matthew, but what else is new? Ever since she was a tiny little infant, I've been more worried about her.

Here's the deal...both kids are great with receptive language. If I tell them to go into another room and get the blue ball, they come back with the blue ball. If I give them multi-step instructions, they can follow. Examples:
  • "Take your jacket off and then sit down so Mommy can take off your shoes."
  • "Put the baby in the stroller and then put the stroller away.
  • "Go get some books and sit down on the couch so we can read."
  • "Put the blocks in the wagon and then go to the sink so we can wash your hands."
Get the picture?

Seriously...sometimes Husband can't even follow instructions that complex!

So, why aren't they talking?

Matthew says several words: Dada, Mama, Hailey (hayeee), ball, moo, neigh, woof, up, down, out, keys, GiGi, PopPop, cookie, I did that, what's that?, I'm sure there are more...gotta make a list.
Hailey says fewer: Dada, Mama, Matt (when prompted), ball, neigh, moo, what's that?, that might be it - YIKES!!!

I'm nervous b/c when I read about what kids between 18-24 months should be doing, they are not really there, ya know?

Here's where I'm getting my info:

19 to 24 months
Your child now understands as many as 200 words, though he'll probably use only 50 to 75 of them regularly. Many of these words will be nouns that designate objects in his daily life, such as "spoon" and "car." Between 18 and 20 months, his pace will pick up as he acquires ten or more new words each day. If he's especially focused on learning to talk, he can add a new word to his vocabulary every 90 minutes — so watch your language!

During this phase your child may begin stringing two words together, making basic sentences such as "Carry me." Since his grammar skills are still undeveloped, you'll often hear odd constructions such as "Me go." He's understood for some time that he needs language, and he'll attempt to name new objects as he observes the world around him. He may overextend the words he already knows, though, so that all new animals are called "dogs," for example.

Starting around his second birthday, your child will begin using three-word sentences and singing simple tunes. As his sense of self matures, he'll use "me" to refer to himself, and he's likely to tell you what he likes and doesn't, what he thinks, and what he feels. You may hear him say, "David want juice" or "Baby throw," for instance. (Pronouns are tricky, so you may catch him avoiding them.)

So, would you call a speech pathologist?

I had an email drafted to a friend of mine from school...a speech pathologist and I deleted it b/c I sounded like an idiot. This is what I thought I sounded like:

" kids don't"

I need to make some concrete lists throughout the day of what they can say, what they are trying to say, and what they need to say. That is my mission today...

All of this may or may not have been spurred by Husband...he had a "bad night" last night and was complaining about Hailey's grunting. She is grunting to get everything and, I'll agree with him, it is totally annoying. She's not even trying to say most of the words. He's at the end of his rope...I'm still all "well, all kids develop differently."

Is it because they're twins?

She does babble...a lot. Here is a cute video of her babbling.

Okay...maybe she's not following directions at the end (I swear...she usually does), but there is a cute little dance involved.

Is she more quiet b/c Matt is so much more vocal? Am I not giving her enough one-on-one attention? Am I giving in too soon and giving her the word rather than letting her find it on her own?

They carry on little babbling conversations and are able to communicate with each other.

Are they secretly trying to drive me crazy at an early age so I'm totally wiped out by their teenage years???

BTW...if I am having a ridiculous fit of nervousness b/c Husband had a "bad night," I'm going to kill him...why does he do this to me? After complaining about Hailey's grunting, he did say, "ignore me...I'm tired and grumpy." What kind of disclaimer is that??? It's like saying, "I'm going to totally freak you out about our child's development, but don't worry about's just's not her."


Stepping On Cheerios said...

I think all moms worry about thier kids and speech these days. Kids will talk when they are ready. Both my kids were seriously lates talked and so far all the pros tell me they are normal. My 3 year old is just starting to put words together in phrases (2 and 3 words).

Both my boys walked very early and are extrememly physical. The doctors always said they only do one at a time.

You can always have them screened for free through your school system. Just in the last week Muffin has really picked up the speech. He can count to 15 and spell his name but barely talks...I think he is listening very carefully.

Marcia (123 blog) said...

Hey, I'm all for them listening and not talking LOL


I think separate them more - Hailey will talk more.

When my two are together, C is quiet and lets K babble away. The minute K goes to nap or for a bath, etc, C starts talking like crazy (he comes out of his shell in a big way).

Marcia (123 blog) said...

P.S. Send the email - it will make you feel better

Mandibula said...

The girls were just referred to infant and toddler services (in Baltimore County) and I'm waiting for a call back to schedule their evaluation. They are only 10 months old but they make almost no sounds. Dada is about it, and only Emma says it, and not to DH. Their Dr. is worried about expressive speech delay. I'm not at all. In her explanations twins tend to fall behind in this area, they communicated with themselves and never learn to talk or some other malarky. I think my kids, as well as yours, will just do things on their own schedules. I mean really, do babies need therapy?? She understand what is going on, maybe she just doesn't have anything she feels is important enough to say!

Jill said...

This is just a blanket statement about you/your blog. You crack me up! I'm not very good at keeping up with my blog or with those that I read but omigosh, when I read your posts, I wish I stayed better on top of it! Cuz you are funny!
Anyway -- as for the kiddos talking, if your state has an Infant Toddler Services department, an evaluation would be free. That's how I was convinced to do it. Our speech pathologist was here last Friday and she said by 2, kids should have 50 words. I think this info you have is maybe a little inflated.

Mary (BFF) said...

Ok, so you know I never respond to your blogs, but since I went through this with Colin I feel that I should impart my wisdom. Colin was the same way. He was barely saying 10 words when he turned 2. We had him evaluated and had a speech therapist come once a week. 2 months later, he was saying 50+ words. They stopped coming, and now I cant get him to shut up. LOL. I can give you some of the tips they gave me. I would give it alittle more time. Maybe til they turn 2. You may see a big difference. I know how you feel though. I wanted to be proactive and figured it couldnt hurt having them come.
Call me if you want to talk about the things they did.

Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him said...

I've read that twins are slower to speak because their 'private' language with each other is so entrenched and non-verbal. BUT, if you have easy access to a friend who could help, send the email. Why not? I wouldn't sweat it, though, I'm always looking at my 1 year old against my 2 year old. Why isn't she walking? Dom was walking at 10 months. Why doesn't she have teeth? Dom had a full set. But it'll level out eventually.

My husband TOTALLY cannot follow a multi-step command and I think he only has mastered 50 words himself.

Nic said...

I havent had kids (yet!), but going on how my nephew acted he didnt really talk till he was 2. He would babble and say 'what's that?' all the time and we would tell him over and over. Now he names things all the time, talks a lot and talks to himself a lot. he is now 2 1/2. He def walked before he talked!
If it makes you feel better send the e-mail, it wont do any harm!

Adriane said...

First, I am AMAZED that they know colors and will actually bring you the blue ball! That is crazy! And their receptive language skills seem excellent!! I honestly, truly, would not be worried.

I, too, have heard that kids that develop gross motor skills early are slower to talk. Mine were the opposite. They didn't walk until they were 15.5 mos old! Sending the email to your friend will definitely make you feel better. And writing down the words they say will be really helpful. I was shocked at how many words the girls were saying when I actually wrote them down.

I understand your concern, but from the outside perspective, I think they are doing fabulous!

Adriane said...

And PS - when my girls weren't walking at 15 months, I was Freaking Out!! So, I know where you're coming from. They were just both slower to walk.

Jules said...

Ditto on the gross motor vs. talking (parts of the brain) I'm always worried for Allie since she hasn't kicked the pacifier and talks a lot less than non-paci Audrey. Can't hurt to send the email though.

Tiffany Lockette said...

No worries just yet Mama. Give her time, some kids just do things slower. Keep working with her, I'm sure one day out of the blue her vocabulary is just going to take off and then you won't be able to get her to quit talking!!

Denise said...

Per our pediatrician, a lot of twins start talking later because they've developed their own language with each other. He also said average words at 18 months of age is only 6 words. That seems low, but the stats you have above seem like a lot to me. My niece didn't really start saying words (other than 3 or 4 words) until she turned 2 and it wasn't until recently (about 2 1/2) that her vocab really started exploding.

Most counties have free early intervention programs that you can have them come do a consult. If anything, it might just confirm that they are doing fine and make you feel better.

Barbara Manatee said...

The first thing I'll say is take the time to sit down and really write down EVERYTHING you can think of that they say. When our two were that age and we were seeing a few Drs re: Jacob's motor development, they kept asking about how many words he had then. At 18 months, I thought about 15-20, at 20 months, I thought maybe 30-40. When I sat down after the 3rd Dr asked me at that point and really wrote down all he said...I came up with a list of well over 100 words...but when put on the spot I couldn't think of much.

We obviously have 3 kids and all 3 vary in how they've developed. Sarah has been ahead of the game pretty much all around. Jacob was way behind on his motor development and Adam's been pretty average although he has fewer words than the twins did at this age, I think. Its tough not to compare the twins to each other and to other kids.

if you're REALLY concerned, it does not hurt to make a call and ask for a screening from your local school or from your pediatrician. It does not hurt to have your worries calmed. BUT...if you are truly concerned, its best to check into it sooner than later.

hang in there! (& don't worry..I over analyze just about every thing too - I've got calls into OTs, PTs and a neurologist to follow up with Jacob again...worried he's lagging behind again)

Danifred said...

I say trust your gut and your instincts. Even if nothing comes out of it, it will hopefully put your mind at ease.

Courtnay said...

RT....throw away the DAMN book. They're your kids...they're bright, beautiful and communicate when they need to. Maybe, Hailey decided she just couldn't get a word in edgewise. Besides, LMW would say that a woman who doesn't always dominate the conversation is a good thing!:)

Anonymous said...

I can totally relate I have 2 kids 4yrs apart a girl and a boy. my daughter started talking at 9m and never stopped. my son at his second birthday barely spoke. he didn't even really use mommy or daddy kinda just yelled and gestured. we had heard him use words a bit but really not at all regularly. He is 51/2 now and his kindergarten teacher is always telling me how great his diction and vocabulary is. It sounds like you are doing great just be patient, keeping reading and talking to them and for what it is worth neither of my kids 2 doctors was really worried he was in the normal range and some kids just really don't get going on their speech till after 3

Mrs. B. said...

i totally understand where you're coming from. my babes actually say way less words than yours do, but my oldest didn't really say much until she was 3, so i expected as much. and now she is never NOT talking. she even talks in her sleep! it will all even out, but if sending that email would make you feel better - i would definitely do that.