I am friends with some of my former students on FB. I figured it was okay since I don't technically work for the county anymore. I don't really communicate with them (unless they contact me first), but every now and then I get curious.
Their prom was this weekend. All of the kids looked great. I can't believe how huge their houses are. It brought back some fond (yet less good looking) memories from my own proms. It is amazing how much I have forgotten about those "special nights."
There were some kids in these pictures that made me think, "I wonder how he/she is doing now." So, I clicked names. Just a few...okay, maybe five. I do this about once a month (usually when the Phillies are on television and I want to let Husband use the "good" TV)...I think of random students, whether they were funny, troubled, pretty, smart, dumb, whatever. I just want to know how they are...I love all of my students and enjoy keeping tabs on them (vice versa BTW...I'm not just some weirdo stalker...they find me...I have never friend requested a former student...they've always found me...that's my little disclaimer so you won't think I'm a huge loser).
As I look through some kids' pictures, the same question keeps running through my mind. "Why are all of the girls trying to look like whores???"
When I was in high school, I tried very hard to look anything other than slutty. I wore size 9/10 jeans (when I was really a 1/2). I wore size large turtlenecks (when I was really a small). I barely have any shots of me in a bikini (God, I wish I did...those were the days). I have no shots of me in my bra (you'd be surprised at how popular this particular wardrobe choice has become for profile pics).
It's just disheartening...my poor Hailey is going to be subjected to this. Try to look like a ho, or you are a prude/nerd (this is my preference, but the cool nerds). Is there no happy medium anymore? Even scarier, where will she try to fit in? We all try to fit in somewhere...how will she make her choices?
Oh, and Matt...poor Matt. He's going to be constantly distracted by shorts that are too short, shirts that are too low, or overall debauchery (probably not in high school, but I just love that word). Poor kid...I just hope he actually graduates high school with all of those distractions.
The saddest part of all? So many schools have been challenged by "those parents" who believe that choice of attire is a freedom that should not be governed by a general dress code policy. Many teachers are afraid to call students out on their inappropriate tank-tops or shorts that leave little/nothing to the imagination. Many administrators are afraid to make the very difficult call to a parent to ask for a change of clothes. These kids can be distracting...for other students as well as teachers. I really feel badly for male teachers who really can't say anything on the subject. The smart ones defer to a female colleague (which is fine).
I was "that teacher." I would call the girls out on their dress code violations. I would tell them that it was time to "retire" a certain piece of clothing (usually shorts that had been worn in the Fall, but were too short by the time Spring rolled around). I would deliver them to the principal's office for "that" phone call. I would offer to let them choose replacement clothes from my own personal stash if they would rather. I would redirect male students' from staring at something that was seriously being thrown in their faces. I would read students' t-shirts and have them turned inside out if the words were offensive. I was "that teacher." I had a good enough rapport with the kids though. They didn't really give me a lot of grief for it. I had a lot of eye rolls and heavy sighing, but not too many real issues.
Maybe they didn't give me a lot of grief for it b/c they needed it. Maybe they needed a good excuse to put some more clothes on rather than make that choice themselves. Maybe I was the excuse for them to feel more comfortable walking through those halls...I'll take that!
Maybe it's just me...maybe I'm still a prude deep down inside (okay...it's not so deep)! Who knows? Maybe it's a part of getting older and realizing that you're more than your body and, even if you have a great body, you don't need to give it away to everyone who will look.
Maybe it's a fear that no matter how many times I tell my daughter that she's beautiful and smart and funny...no matter how many times I tell her that she is high in worth and character...no matter how many times I compliment her on an ensemble, it will still come down to someone else okaying it...not me. It will be out of my control...scary, huh?
BTW...am I the only one who doesn't "get" this whole Justin Bieber thing??? I'm not really impressed, but I do love some Ludacris!!!
Ummm...Please Don't Steal My Craziness...Okay? Thanks!
People I Love...follow along if you're so inclined!
10 comments:
I totally agree that the dress of some young people today (gosh I sound so flippin old) is ridiculous. I'm happy to say that my teenage nieces/nephew (17, 16, 14) do not dress that way and if they ever did their mom, dad, grandparents and me their favorite aunt would make them change in an instant.
Oh and I never heard of Justin Bieber until a month ago.
It's crazy how there is no modesty in clothing these days.
I was like you- teeny-tiny and yet I covered up. I do wish I had bikini pics from back then, though.
And I'm friends with some of my former students on fb- though they find me first.
I don't get Justin Whatever.
Oh lord...you should see how the kids dress in elementary school now!! I teach in a K-6 building in an inner city school and although we have 'uniforms/dress code', some choose not to abide and others take FULL advantage of dress down days. OMG! And some of the parents?? Holy smokes! I feel like I need to cover my kids' eyes when they walk by! agh!
Sadly...my own kids find JB's song "Baby" very catchy and ask me to pull up the video on the computer. I let them listen/dance to it tonight and when it was done, Sarah immediately said "Now I want the Lonely Girl song!" WTH? How did she learn that already!! Lord help me!!
Being one of your older followers (58), I have to address another eventuality in a female's life. You get to a point in your life when you are NO LONGER cute, beautiful, and get what you want because you're an attractive flirt. In preparation for this certain occurrence, you better feel good about yourself in some other altruistic way. Self worth MUST be from strong moral actions not physical acceptance by peers.
Oh I'm unashamedly conservative when it comes to dress - I just don't believe my body (very hot once upon a time - sad thing is one of the best moments of my school life was a boy telling me I had legs like Steffi Graf *ahem*) is all there is to me.
I don't even want to THINK about Kendra growing up - good thing is she's so sassy and is a clear leader-type already.
I also marvel at the kids around here - teenagers who look like sluts "no child of mine will ever go out dressed like that". Yes, I sound old but so what.
At least we wear school uniforms in SOuth Africa and they're very clear (not above your knee) on guidelines. But after school, well, their inner ________ come out to play!
luda!!! i agree, i don't get bieber.
you should have seen what the 15 year olds were wearing to the funeral service the other day. offensive. how about all the "sexy" looks they're always giving the camera??? it's gross. i'm with you...things have gone way too far and girls are paying the price. they do things at parties these days that make me blush.
Yay Luda!! HAHA! And I don't like Justin Bieber. He's also created this new hair trend. The trend that forces me and my friends to play the "guy or girl?" game.
And as far as high school, I was the one who would constantly have to be told to wear more decent clothes. It's sad, but a confession I'll make to you! And I was deep down thankful for all my teachers who told me to NOT dress that way. (I was raised by my dad).
I totally don't get it. I find it incredibly disturbing that parents are even allowing their children to leave the house looking the way they do.
Hells no in this house!
no kidding! i have all of those same fears for my kiddies. it's a cryin' shame what kids are wearing these days. i'm glad you weren't afraid to call them on their lack of coverage, mama.
and me? i fly my nerd flag proudly, yo.
and i can only hope that my kids will do the same.
(Running a bit behind on blog posts over the past few days, but this one has been on my mind...)
I have a 14-year old cousin who lives in my home town, about 250 miles away. She was the sweetest, most respectful child until she was about 10 or 11. Now I cringe every time I see a Facebook post from her.
She wears the tightest shirts and pants and heels and has this crazy half-dyed hair style. She posts pictures of herself in bikini tops, looking with lust (does she even know what that is?!) into the camera lens. And who the hell is taking these pictures, anyway???
The worst, though, is to read her status updates. She's forever changing the "in a relationship" status, and quoting very heavy love songs or poems or something, about how someone "completes" her.
About once a week I think about emailing her on a very serious note, but then I don't want to damage her view of me as a "safe adult" apart from her parents. If I lived closer, I would do it in person in a heartbeat, but it's really hard to watch from afar. And I can't BELIEVE her parents (my cousin who is about 10 years older than I am) allow her to do all this!!! They're on Facebook, too. I cannot imagine having the same stance as they do, but I assume they're letting her "express her creativity" in her dress. SCARY!!!
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