I'm screwed...apparently the "Terrible Twos" are meant to see who can seriously withstand a nervous breakdown and who is meant to be institutionalized.
My kids are changing...like Gizmo changed into those horrible Gremlins!!! Like that Goldblum dude changed into The Fly (I have the right actor, right?). Cute and Jewish (we're not Jewish, but Goldblum sure leads me to believe that I mentioned the right religion) to scaly and mean...that's what we're dealing with here in the Land of Crazies.
Here are a few examples:
- They have both tried to push/kick each other down the stairs.
- Matthew's default word is "no." We were checking books out of the library and Matt was playing with a statue about 20 feet away (daring, ain't I?). I say to him, "Matt, are you being good?" He says, "NO!" and proceeds to chew on the shoe of the statue. Hailey laughed. I'm pretty sure the librarian peed herself a little bit.
- Hailey literally skipped into time-out the other day after hitting Matt. I'm pretty sure she was thinking "it was totally worth it."
- Poor Dog...she gets tortured/chased/mounted/squeezed on a daily basis.
- Matt taught himself how to make fart noises on the side of the tub, the blow up ball from Kindermusik, and his red spatula. He finds this hilarious.
- I gave Hailey some watermelon to eat yesterday and she found it to be too cold (Diva)...so she started eating the green part. Matt found this hysterically funny, so she continued to gnaw on the green part of the watermelon. This one isn't really bad...just funny!
- Getting ill-placed markers away from Matthew this morning was like having a WWE match with The Miz. I won. I do not want this to happen to my house!!!!
- Would I sound too much like a serial rapist if I say that I'd be the happiest person on Earth if I never had to hear the word "NO!" shouted in my face again for my entire life?
Don't get me wrong...I'm looking forward to seeing friends and family, but the trip is driving me insane. Please...can't I just be beamed there??? PLEASE!!!???!!!
Share your "favorite" toddler moments...please let me know that I'm not alone and that there is an end...PLEASE!!!!
12 comments:
Please don't hate me for laughing. But, I've so been there!
You are definitely not alone. It's got to be tough with two in the terrible two's. I had some rough spots when my two were toddlers at the same time. In fact, I remember a Costco trip that ended with me carrying one under each arm horizontal to the ground because I didn't know what else to do and couldn't get control of them any other way.
I hope this phase passes quickly for you and you do get to enjoy your trip a bit.
Glad mine isn't the only almost 2 year old who is going crazy. My favorite is when she says "mommy hold it" and as soon as I reach my hand out she pulls whatever it is back yelling "no mine" at the top of her little lungs. Wtf? She really does want me to hold it, she's just too darn stubborn!
Definitely NOT alone! Wish I had a secret remedy. Hell...if I had a "secret remedy" to the Terrible 2s, I wouldn't keep it a secret - It'd market that shit and be a millionaire!
Good luck with the trip to NY...wow 2 big trips in a row! *bowing continues*
ummm...this one is definitely not my favorite.S is climbing stuff now like our Dining Table and when I freak and lug my huge self towards him,panicking he runs to the other end.Meanwhile R is emptying all the toy boxes.Waits until i'm occupied then either goes for the toy box or the shoe closet.God Forbid if you try to take anything from them,then all hell breaks lose....I cry sometimes because it gets too over-whelming and all(am not a cry baby just 28 weeks pregnant and emotional)
Ohhhhhh how funny...
however.....is this what I have to look forward too !!!! eeeeeek xx xx
Been there, still there. My kids are constantly fighting, hitting, kicking, screaming. If you heard the noises through the window, you'd probably call CPS on me! No joke! But, I think you will be missing their innocent "turdiness" when they are hitting 16 and really talking back or sneaking out of the house. I can take the terrible two's, it's the teenage years that frighten me! It will pass and soon you will miss it, I think???
I'm going to say this in a whisper... in my experience, the 2's were only a warm up to the 3's... sorry. Consider this the numbing period.
Oh honey - which moment do you want to hear about... Biting, pinching until breaking the skin, telling the doctor that they love the smell of each other farts! I could go on if you like : )
I'm starting to feel the same, so I guess it's NORMAL. Blah... Check this out, it always makes me feel better
www.shitmykidshaveruined.com
It helps me through rough days and makes me laugh, as Riley is shaking the crap out of my old dog, throwing heavy objects everywhere and saying "no" the whole time I'm reading.
oh dear lord.... the things I have to look forward to....
A tip from someone who drives 12 hours to Alabama to see her family...do it at night when it's dark since you won't be alone with the kids. Skip nap or make it an early one so they will be good and tired and get yourself a portable DVD player if you don't have one in the car and bring exactly ONE movie (that they know about that is) that MOM picked out so there is no fighting over that either.
:)
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