I used to have such a cute body...no really, I did.
Strong stomach, decent legs (although I've always hated my knees), muscular arms, and a little ba-donk-a-donk going on.
Then I got old.
In the past 3 years, I have been gigantically pregnant with twins (6 pounds 7 ounces and 7 pounds 2 ounces...YIKES!!!), had a c-section, gotten an IUD (yay, no more periods), had 7 minor dermatological operations, and one knee operation. Oh, and let's not forget countless nights of interrupted sleep.
Good-bye cute body!
Yeah, yeah...if you see me in clothes, I'm still pretty cute (but I'd seriously like my bras and my heels back please!!), but what if I take my clothes off?
Nah...not gonna happen. Not unless you're my husband.
Speaking of Husband, he has an appointment at the eye doctor on Tuesday. This appointment scares me to death.
No, not because that spot that he's obsessed with in his eye may make him go blind. No, not because he may need an operation. None of that is true...that we know of.
It's because he might actually have something wrong with his eye that has caused him to believe the lies he's been feeding me for all these years. "No, you don't have cellulite." "No, your ass isn't huge." "No, it doesn't mean you're fat if your thighs touch." (okay, the last one is interpretation, but it's still nice to hear.)
IF (that's a big "if" because I don't actually think it's anything...it's probably just Husband's method for growing old. The things that don't matter will get old and his body and face will stay perfect as usual)* there is anything wrong with him, I'll feel horrible. I will worry and nurse him back to health. Then a thought occurs to me..."what if they fix him and he can see EVERYTHING???"
What if he can see the lumps, bumps, flaps, jiggles, flubbers, shakes, flutters, scars, mountains, valleys, rivers, and oceans that make me woman? Hear me roar? NO FUCKING WAY!!! Watch me hide!
I don't want to be one of these women that hides from her husband, but seriously...knee surgery kind of puts cardiovascular exercise on the back burner.** And the only thing that can rebound a woman after having children is cardiovascular exercise...it's true. It sucks and it's true!
So, let's collectively pray that they find nothing wrong with his eyes and that we can all continue living in LaLa Land. It's so nice and dreamy here.
* Did I just say that sight didn't matter? What is wrong with me???
** Although I do plan to start spinning again next week.
10 comments:
You are absolutely crazy!
:)
Here's to a good eye appt for Husband.
P.S. they honestly don't care what we look like as long as we take a bit of time to look slightly put together and occasionally do the deed LOL
I like to think of it like this... my husband hasn't (or at least BETTER NOT HAVE) seen any other woman naked in so long, he's forgotten what the ideal should look like. So really, I should be looking pretty good, since I'm the only naked option! Make sense?
And I agree...with clothes on, I can still rock it (or, okay, FAKE it).
Ahh the badges of Motherhood.
I like to tell DH that if he doesn't like the rides in this carnival he can pack up and leave his check! HA! That being said, chasing children for the last year has resulted in a 20lb weight loss and brought me from a size 10 to a size 2! Sounds impressive but I think 15 lbs of that was boob and butt!
Hope your hubs maintains his current visual status!
isn't it a husband's job to NOT see all those things we don't like? :)
i miss spinning.... like a lot....
Clothes on- I'm okay. Off is another story. Good thing I'm married and dh only cares about what we do not what I look like. LOL or is that TMI?
Hope everything is okay with your husband!
I feel guilty for laughing, given that your hubby is actually going to the doctor for his eye...but this is great. Between you blocking the mirror and him not being able to see, all is well, right? :)
I just try not to think too much about things. I'm the same weight I was in high school, a good 8 to 10 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight (thanks to crazy drugs and depression eating [and drinking] when we'd get a negative pregnancy test). But...the body is NOT the same. On a positive note, my biceps rock from carrying around 50 pounds of baby, and my legs are in good shape. It's the torso that should remain covered at all times. sigh...
Oh, and I hope everything is OK with the hubs. :)
My hubby hates, hates, hates that I talk trash about my flap (what other word is there?).
I hope they don't find anything majorly wrong with his eyes and you can continue to live in lala land, but I also think you don't give yourself enough credit.
Yep, I love turning the lights off. I used to love my boobs.... *sigh*
ugh...there must be something wrong with my husband's eye sight that he can even want to look at me anymore. I haven't seen the inside of a gym in a year, had 3 kids in 2 years and stopped breastfeeding and gained back all that I lost last fall (and then some...crap!)
I can't seem to find the time or motivation to do anything about it though so I just get more mad at myself...after the holidays, right?
Post a Comment