It hits me when I least expect it.
It makes me think that things would be so different.
It makes me realize how much she would love my kids.
It makes me wonder if we'd talk more.
It makes me think of all the things I never said....never asked...never knew.
(and may never really know)
It makes me feel lucky that she came into my life...as unexpected as it was.
It makes me really think about all of the circumstances.
It makes me think of life never having known her.
It makes me think of the little things she always did.
It makes me think of the shells, the hearts, and red toenail polish.
It makes me wish I had taken more pictures when I had the chance.
Even if I never understand how she came into my life, but I'll always be happy that she was there.
She was gone too early.
She had more to do.
She had things to finish.
There are things happening now that she would not have accepted.
Is it my job to rectify these things?
Is it my duty to finish what she started?
Is it my place to speak up for her?
Life happens as it should and I need to accept that.
I need to step back...even further than I have (is that possible?).
There are things I do for her...things that no one knows about.
There are ways I remember her...ways that no one sees.
That's okay by me...she sees me...
Love you, C