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Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Musical Kids? Not so much...

So, I don't know if I've mentioned this, but we have moved up a level in Kindermusik...we're in the 18 month - 3 year old class. It's a big jump and we're definitely the youngest kids in there, but we're dealing with it. The kits that we get are much more mature than we're used to (i.e. the books rip very easily, so they're only for adults), so we didn't rip into it at the end of class like all of the other kids...I just couldn't let Miss Peggy see the books get ripped so easily!

When we got home, I decided to open the kit. Our unit this time is all about Trains and Things that Go...adorable. The kit came in a cardboard train box and had two books and two harmonicas. The kids were completely enamored with the harmonicas, but as you can see from the video, have no freaking idea how to use them. We spent countless...ummm...minutes on trying to figure it out, but alas, no sweet harmonica sounds (if there's any such thing in this world) will be gracing our halls for quite a while. Hmph...and I thought it would be's the proof that they're musically challenged.


If I Can't Text While I'm Driving (thanks Oprah)...

then I guess taking pictures is off limits, but I wish it weren't. I drove by a woman the other day who had this plastered on her back window:


What? Shit! Shit! Shit! I'm not supposed to speed because I have kids?!?!!! Why didn't anyone tell me??? I've been speeding because I do have kids! You're not supposed to speed because of those little nuggets??? They should really put that in the manual. Here are what the kids do to make me speed:

1. Sleep late on mornings that we have activities.
2. Take F.O.R.E.V.E.R. to eat their breakfast (and freak out when I try to clear their trays b/c they're not done yet although I know it's really b/c they want to watch another Sesame Street video).
3. "Lose" their socks when trying to get their socks and shoes on.
4. Unzip their jackets while I'm getting the other one dressed.
5. Remind me at the last minute that the dog needs to go out to take her morning crap (as if I don't deal with enough crap around here).
6. Wait until both kids are dressed to take craps...that's right...two of them...fully dressed...coats, jackets, hats, the whole nine...toot, toot, squirt, wahhhhh (yes, that's me crying at the end)!
7. Move around like King Cobras while I'm changing their crappy diapers in just the right way so that I end up shoving my fingers right into the pile of crap that I'm desperately trying to avoid.
8. "Lose" one of their shoes while I'm changing their diaper (usually turns out that the other one has stolen it and has it in a "secret place").
9. Lost sippies...I spend my entire life on my hands and knees looking for these damn sippy cups!
10. Oh shit...forgot to pack a snack and their cute little heads will spin around like they're being exorcised if I don't have a fucking cheese stick in my bag!

Those are just the Top Ten...take that, Dave!

So, I digress (yeah...just a little)! I speed up (irony?) because I have to see what the woman looks like and how many car seats she has in her non-speeding vehicle/kidmobile. You know what? No carseats and she's like 60 years old! No stickers on the windows. No "Baby on Board" sign. No sign of kids ANYWHERE!!! WTF??? You lie!!! LIAR LIAR LIAR!!! I can't believe you're lying about your reason for not speeding!!! How lame!!! I was so pissed that I sped up, cut her off, and slowed down...take that!

Disclaimer: I have always had a heavy foot. I recently got stopped for speeding (see this post and this post for the story...horribly embarrassing). I have been MUCH MUCH MUCH better since having the babies b/c I would never hear the end of it if something happened due to the fact that I am late or wanted to get ahead of a certain unmarked police car. So, just thought I should mention that. Also, my Road Rage has calmed significantly...except for this time...

Cabin Fever Fun

So, what is there to do when you're snowed in? Take lots of random pictures and post them on your blog. For your viewing pleasure, we will NOT have any snow pictures (b/c Maryland has forbidden any of us from leaving our houses), but we will have a lot of "I'm freaking bored out of my mind" pictures! Oh, and I'd like to curse out our local television stations for doing weather coverage over my soap! WTF??? Yes, it's snowing...yes, we should stay inside...yes, if someone goes out to clear the steps, we will let someone know of our locations (seriously...they said this). Now play my soap opera!!! How will I know if Vivian kills Melanie with her wedding headpiece??? How will I know if they found Sami's baby, Sydney? God, I'm such a freaking loser!

Please MOMMY!!! I need to be inside the television with Elmo!!!! That's the only way he'll know how much I love him!!!!

Reaching, reaching, trying to get inside the television...hmmm...check out that half-eaten cheese stick on the corner of the TV stand.

Mmmmm...I'm pretty sure this was Hailey's, but she never actually finishes anything she starts. Yummmyyyyy!!!!

He's right...I don't eat my entire portion...ever! I'd rather take my spoon and eat fake stuff out of this cup. Oh, and this is how I tell Mommy and Daddy that I LOVE them! I do love them too...they're so nice!

Dancing barefoot to Elmo...he's a favorite around here!

What are these two up to? Why is Daddy calling Matt the Terminator?

Aha...he IS the Terminator! What a tough guy!