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Wednesday, February 17, 2010

WTF Wednesday

So, WTF is a phrase that pops into my head about once a minute (usually about something that one of my nutjob children is doing and every now and again, Husband).

Today it was for this particular reason...when you order a kids' meal from most chain restaurants, why does the waiter always say, "please be careful...this is extremely hot."

WTF!!!!!?????!!!!!????? Doesn't anyone understand that you CAN'T put delicious looking food in front of hungry toddlers and expect them to wait patiently! You just can't!!!

It was like prisoner torture as my mother and I pried the chicken "tenders" apart while the boiling hot oil was oozing out of the breading...the kids were reaching and whining for the yummy food that the nice man had brought them. The whole time, they're looking at us like we're doing something wrong...we kept throwing crackers, mandarin oranges, straws, coasters, and menus at them, but nothing would satisfy them until they had one bite of that delicious chicken...and promptly stopped eating. Gee...that was worth it. Now let me eat my salad faster than I've ever eaten anything in my life while dodging out of the way of your greasy little claws...yeah, thanks for throwing that on the floor...and that. Okay, you want a bite? Thanks for spitting it out. No, you can't have another straw. Stop eating that lemon...just suck on it (their faces kill me every time). Get out of my, you can't have my phone to call Daddy. I'm almost done. You want a pepper? Thanks for spitting that out. Can I get the check please?

Keep in mind that they're not actually talking yet...I'm screwed when that happens!

That made me say WTF on this lovely Wednesday!

First Haircuts!!!

So, we finally got the kids their first haircuts. It was a harrowing experience for all (not really). The lady at the front desk recommended that they kids sit on their own rather than in my lap. Not a good idea...Matt freaked out as soon as possible and Hailey was like a little spider monkey holding onto Grandma. We shortly decided that it would be best that the butchers/stylists do their job with the kids on our laps.

I couldn't actually take pictures during the haircuts as I had Matthew plastered onto my lap (occasionally stopping to "talk" to the lady in the next chair) and couldn't move my arms. I was pretty busy holding his head still with every muscle in my body. That kid has one strong neck! The ladies did the best they could with a moving target. I gotta give a lot of credit to a hairstylist who has enough cojones to take on a baby! It's hard!!!

So, here are the before/after pictures of my little kids. You'll notice that the last one depicts Hailey as a cast member from the movie Dumb and Dumber...I can't stop seeing it...I know it's mean and there wasn't much they could do with her hair, but I just think it's funny! Special thanks to Grandma for her help...couldn't imagine doing this alone!'ll notice that Matthew's hair is just gross and greasy and that Hailey is sporting the Behive in the Back look...very nice.

Ummm...yeah...that is hair with Beef Stroganoff in it. When you can use food as a styling product (and it works quite well), it's time for a trim!

We sit through that and all we get are these stupid certificates? I don't know if it was worth it! What do you mean, "next time we don't get anything?" Who does that to little kids???

After: What a handsome boy!

After: Happy Girl!!!

Haha...Dumb and Dumber, right? It's ridiculous!!!