I'm in a panic.
I don't wanna...whine, whine.
However, I do want to look and feel good.
I have spent a lot of time over the last month staring at women (such the voyeur, right?). I have been looking at their bodies, their muscle tone, amount of cellulite, what classes they take at the gym, and their overall level of perceived happiness. I gotta say...runners are in a class of their own.
Not only are runners muscular (well, no duh...all that running will burn the fat to reveal lovely muscles), but they really seem happy with running. Okay, that one I don't get at all. They all look pretty miserable when they're running, but afterward, they seem happy.
There's this thing called the "runner's high." Don't even get me started on that one b/c if a lot of people could actually achieve this "high," I'm sure we'd have a lot more people running around this world all happy flipping each other the thumbs up.
So, here have been the excuses that I have come up with. Many of these have been used repeatedly over the years. Many of these will continue to be used.
- I have bad knees...true, but not a reason to give up. There are paraplegics who run marathons, I can tape up a fucking knee.
- I have shin splints...this one I blame on pledging a sorority (I know...I so don't seem like a sorority girl!). We had to walk all over my college town to get signatures from these bitches (most of whom are close friends now, but were considered bitches as I limped from house to house). It killed me...granted, I may not have been in the best shape to begin with, but still...give a girl a break!
- I don't have the right sneakers...scratch this one off the list. I told Husband to choose my sneakers for me (I'm so damned lazy) and after I got them (and complimented him), he mentioned that they are like the best sneakers for running. Really? Great...
- I don't have enough time. This one is still pretty true. I could start running, but I'm pretty sure that there is something that says, "when embarking on a running career, don't start off by pushing 50 pounds of baby and 24 pounds of stroller up and down the hills in your neighborhood...you'll die."
- That brings me to my next point...my neighborhood is hilly!
- I don't like to sweat...this one is pretty true too, but I sweat in spin class and love it...I picture the sweat as fat liquefying and dripping off my body. Gross, right? Whatever gets me through that class. Guess I can't use the sweat excuse anymore.
- Runners are freaks. This one is still pretty true too, but can I get past the freak aspect to achieve the body that I want?
- I don't like to jiggle publicly...still true. Want a burger with that shake!!??!!
- I am afraid that running will ruin my boobs.
- I don't know where to start. People say to start with running for a minute and then walking for a minute. What? How am I supposed to keep track of that? I'm going to look like a freaking idiot if I start then stop...what a loser.
- It's going to be summer soon and I am NOT running in the summer...there are snakes.
Husband and close friends all run...they are not complete freaks...they are running races...I feel left out...they're all into their training and picking up their packets...blah.
Stay tuned...I'm still not sure what I'm going to do about this little revelation. I'm sticking to spin for now.
What's that? NO! I'm not running away...apparently I don't even know how to run yet, so screw off!