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Monday, May 10, 2010

Mother's Day rundown

6:10 - hear a baby and think to self, "there is no freaking way I'm getting up for that is Mother's Day."
6:11 - think to self, "Husband had better wake up."
6:17 - shut off alarm clock...there is no way I'm going to spin with the way my back feels.
7:30 ish - Husband gets up and goes to the bathroom.
7:31 - wonder why he's going in the kids' room...I seriously don't think they're up.
7:32 - hear the sweet little sounds of the Crazies...they're on their way in.
7:33 - Oh God...I can't back is killing me. Husband puts Matthew on the bed with me and Matt then delivers a rousing dissertation on the ceiling fan.
7:45 - received it...Vera Bradley apron. I'm no fan of Vera (too busy for a girl who is afraid of patterns) and aprons really don't seem like something I'd love either. However, I will suffer through a very busy Vera pattern to wear an adorable apron. I love aprons...maybe they're a little outdated, but they're so useful when you're cooking and you have nothing to wipe your hands on...I think this must come from my waitressing days.
8:00 - text Mom to see if she wants to Skype during breakfast.
8:10 - start breakfast for the Crazies while Husband take my own personal breakfast order.
8:30 - breakfast is ready...Mom is on Skype...husband is on his way to D.D.
9:00 - breakfast is slowly breaking down and Mom put me on permanent hold on Skype trying to figure out how to Skype with me and my sister at the same time. I'm pretty sure it won't work, so I hang up and finish my breakfast.
9:10 - get in shower...take the second guiltless and long shower of the weekend. I figure I can get away with it if I don't blowdry my hair (a decision that I'll later regret thanks to Sister).
9:30 - emerge clean and, wait...I was going to say pretty, but I'll stick with clean.
10:00 - Husband decides that we need to empty the freezer and get rid of any meat that dates back to pre-Crazies. It's embarrassing to see how much there is!
10:30 - Husband out to mow the lawn...get Crazies dressed.
11:00 - snack for Crazies and plot my moves to get this vegetable garden set up and planted in time for lunch.
11:15 - venture outside...very windy and surprisingly cold!
11:30 - time to assemble the container garden...lay out weed stuff, prop up container, fill with dirt, try to keep Crazies from playing in dirt as Husband is concerned about bacteria...ummm, okay.
12:00 - corral Crazies onto deck so we can watch them while making some crappy lunch (have I mentioned how tired I am of preparing meals? When will they learn to cook???).
12:03 - tell Brie to get out of strawberries.
12:04 - tell Matt to get out of strawberries and rescue his broom from a metal chair that apparently was trying to kidnap it (that's what you'd think too if you heard the horrific screams emitted from my son).
12:05 - rescue Hailey from dropping brick on her foot.
12:10 - get sick of trying to rescue everyone and just stare exhaustedly at Husband for a little bit.
12:15 - Everyone needs to come inside for lunch.
12:16 - fight to the death to take off shoes and sweatshirts.
12:17 - get kicked in the stomach (cue back spasms again).
12:18 - throw kids into their highchairs and promise a delicious lunch (lies).
12:22 - give kids their lunch and ignore disgusted glares...soup and crackers is just fine...especially when it's served up with a side of sugar snap peas (that you won't eat anyway).
12:23 - Skype with Sister/Aunt (who makes fun of my hair and then makes me feel guilty for years of torture that I inflicted).
12:25 - beg Matt to eat some meatballs in exchange for another cracker (The Art Of Negotiation With a 21-Month Old).
12:30 - get fed up, get a cookie thrown at me, get the Crazies out of their high chairs.
12:30 - 1:30 - play with Crazies, change the Crazies, read to the Crazies, wonder how the Crazies have so much energy.
1:46 - put Crazies up for nap, Husband to change for his run, me out to garden to actually plant veggies in dirt pit.
2:56 - turn on hose for garden, clean up dirt, come inside for popcorn (and raw cookie dough, but you didn't hear it from me), and a good dose of the Food Netw.ork (best thing I ever ate? Seriously the best show on TV).
4:00 - Husband comes back from run all sweaty and gross.
4:07 - bring hose in and wonder if I should wake the Crazies up...after all, they're going to have to go to bed sometime tonight, right? Notice that Matt is already up, but being quiet b/c Hailey is still sleeping...gotta love that kid. Realize that back is starting to feel a little bit better.
4:24 - go up to get Crazies.
4:30 - attempt to give them a snack (kiwi and cheez-its) and lost all motivation as I realize that Matt is slowly crushing his cheez-its with a "play" fork and then throwing them on the rug while he calls for Brie (gee...I wonder where he learned that from). Marinate chicken for dinner, assemble burgers, and prepare squash. it still Mother's Day? Why am I doing all of this?
5:00-6:00 - prepare dinner, get Crazies fed, remain quietly astonished as Hailey polished off her entire dinner (except for the squash of course), get Matt to eat more chicken just to get another fry, clean up, go into living room.
6:39 - ask Husband if we should go up for baths at some point...he's in Running Coma and can't quite put these things (i.e. cause/effect, time/chores) together at this point.
6:45 - usher Crazies up the stairs, get mad at Matt b/c he'd rather play on stairs rather than actually climb them, watch Matt pee on bathroom rug while Husband gets all pissed that he wasn't in the bathtub yet (I was putting my hair in a ponytail...I can't stop mid-ponytail, can I?). Walk away as Husband chastises me once again about shirking bath time duties (I freaking HATE bath time).
6:46 - listen to Crazies have fun in the tub while I make our bed (figured it was finally time to wash my sheets as I couldn't remember the last time they'd been changed...judge if you want...I'm too tired to care). Listen to Husband try to get Hailey to poop on the potty (b/c she insisted that she had to go) no avail.
7:10 - Crazies out of tub, tickle Matthew's belly button, look for his hand inside his jammies, brush hair, brush teeth, layout 5,000,000 blankets on the floor for the Crazies to walk over and fall down onto. Realize that back hurts again (gee...could it have anything to do with lifting 50 pounds of baby 500 times a day?).
7:15 - Roll eyes with Husband as kids do really weird things (i.e. bang heads on walls/doors, have foreign conversations through shut doors, give our shoulders really loud and emphatic kisses, put blankets over their heads and headbutt each other, poke us in the eyes).
7:30 - decide that Crazies need to get to bed as they're starting WWIII with each other over blankets and watch Husband remain in Running Coma...not moving...staring at the ceiling.
7:35 - inject Husband with adrenaline and have a Family Squeeze before binks and loveys.
7:36 - Crazies in bed, contacts out, start laundry, clean up living room, sit down at computer.
7:59 - am interrupted from Internet Coma by Mother calling to catch up. I have terrible conversation skills and I marvel at her level at energy at this late hour. How does she do it? She's going out for a walk just to rev her up to mop the kitchen floor when she gets home. I can't even finish a sentence.
8:13 - Mother realizes that I can't hold a conversation and allows me to get off the phone. I feel badly.
8:15 - pour glass of wine and silently thank Husband for getting more wine last night...he just had a feeling.
8:17 - Husband says, "every day you should take a step back and admire the work that you're doing with the're doing a great job." was a good day.
8:24 - set this to post tomorrow and go into the living room to watch the finale (I think) of The Amazing Race.

I hope you all had a good Mother's Day too...