Ummm...Please Don't Steal My Craziness...Okay? Thanks!

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Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Taking A Break for Some Potty Talk

I am getting sick of my vacation pictures, so I KNOW you're all getting sick of them too.

I decided to take a break and update you about some very important happenings around here.

We have broken the potties out of their boxes. One is pink and one is blue...original, I know.

They make royal celebratory music when something lands on the right sensor.

Can't that electrocute my kid's ass?

Anyway, they're sitting in our nice new bathroom upstairs and I am thoroughly grossed out and perplexed.

First I will go through why I am so disgusted...

Did you know that I (okay, mostly Husband, but still...) will have to clean these things out?

Yes, the pee (easy) and the poop (seriously???)!

That is the most degrading thing I have ever done as a human being.

Did you know that they get up and walk around while they're still peeing???

Yeah, they want to see what's going on down there and who's making that damn music!

That's disgusting.

Did you know that this is a total time waster???

We sit there for a long time and talk about going to the bathroom, but sometimes, it doesn't happen at all.

What an annoying waste of time!

Are you peeing? Yes!
Do you have to pee? Yes!
Did you pee? No!
Do you want to pee? Yes!
Can you pee? blank stare
Let's go get a diaper on and get on with our day...fit of rage.

Did you know that eventually, they will POOP in the potty??????

WTF???

Why didn't anyone tell me this in our birthing class?

Who is going to clean that out? (Husband)

How does one even go about cleaning that out?

I'm going to puke...seriously...

Second, why I'm perplexed...

  • Do I need to get potties for the main floor as well?
  • Do I need to leave the bathroom doors open or wait for them to tell me?
  • Are they too young? They're 22 months old.
  • If they touch each other's pee/poop, do I have permission to pass out from sheer disgust?
  • How long do I let them sit on the potty?
  • Do I really need to have a reward? I mean seriously...it's a freaking biological function...it'll happen anyway if I let them sit long enough, right?
  • Is IS considered child abuse to let them be in diapers until college, right?

God, kill me now. I guess I should be thankful that they're showing interest so early...this may save me hundreds of dollars in diapers, right? This may mean that my kids will be taking care of themselves in so many ways, right? This may also mean that they'll be racing from their beds at 5:00 AM trying to make it to the toilet before peeing themselves...and they won't.go.back.to.bed, right??? OMG...they're going to pee their bed, aren't they? Then I'll be doing laundry in the middle of the night. Kill me now...maybe I should rethink this entire thing.

What if they have to go in the middle of the night? Then I can't have them in their cribs, right? God, I'll have to put them in their toddler beds and then all Hell will break loose! Matt will be climbing into bed with Hailey and stealing her Abby doll...she'll be yelling ABBY at 3:30 AM and I'll be breaking up fights shortly thereafter.

Who came up with this idea anyway? Can't we all just have catheters? I loved my catheter in the hospital...loved it. It was my favorite part of the whole process.

Oh well...more to come on this. Any advice would be appreciated...obviously!

Oh, and don't be too nice...I'm not really not too freaked out about this...I just want to make myself laugh and it kind of worked.

First Solo Trip with the Crazies...Part III

The second day was our only full day at the beach. Trust me...we made the most of it!

Itinerary:

Breakfast at Uncle Bill's...yummy...decent behavior...great sippy cups...escaped unscathed.
Shopping at this little dive store for hats...hysterical...love mine (although don't have a picture of it)
Beach...water, water, water, sand, snacks, water, sand, snacks, Matt whining "home."
Rinse off
Bath
Lunch
Naps
Dinner
Boardwalk...rides, rides, rides, rickety ride, walk, eat, complain about people feeding the seagulls (seriously people), get shit on by nasty seagull, whine about getting shit on, throw shit on pretzel away, lament about getting shit on, yell at BFF for laughing so hard, walk, go home
Play
Bed (waaaaayyyyy past bedtime)

So, here are our photos from the second day. This was definitely the day that I started missing Husband a lot. It's just easier when you have your partner in crime to make sure that each parent has a kid. BFF and Cousin were so helpful though...how else could you police three toddlers in the "pool"...that's what Hailey calls the Atlantic Ocean...her "pool."

These three little heads had the best time on the beach. Thank God for rash guards and brightly colored hats...so much easier to find each kid!




Matt loved this shovel...whined like a girl every time someone tried to take it away from him. Then he repeatedly tried to steal Hailey's snack after he'd finished his own.



Hailey is her mother's daughter...she loves the beach, loves the ocean, loves Comb.os...what else in life do you really need, after all?



Hanging out on the deck after naps...they had so much fun running around and playing.



Hailey just enjoyed hanging around...I gotta get her enrolled in gymnastics this Fall.
She loves it!



First independent ride...EVER!!! Look how nonchalant they are! It hardly even phases them!!!



Riding on the boats...where are your lifejackets??? Haha...their boat was called Mimi which was appropriate since that's what they call BFF.



This frog ride needed some creative planning since we didn't have enough adults to go on the rides and watch our strollers...it all worked out though since Colin was tall enough to ride "alone." Can't really call it "alone" though when we have him and Matt wedged in the same seat. Hailey kept lifting off her seat (lightweight), so I was holding her down half the time!



Yeah...I'm completely afraid of heights and this is not a very smooth ride. Needless to say, many of the times that I was scared out of my mind had to be "edited" to sound like I was really excited about how much "fun" we were having. Cousin was laughing his ass off...



Scenes from the Boardwalk...I love it here!