Ummm...Please Don't Steal My Craziness...Okay? Thanks!

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Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Preschool Orientation for the Crazies!!! (and pre-surgery crap too)

So, we get to the church that houses the preschool and have no idea where the actual classrooms are.

Cue heavy sighing and Husband telling me that I was in charge of this...yada, yada, yada.

We figured it out, turned in our paperwork, got our coupon books for payments, and made our way down to the Purple Teddy Bear Room.

It was so cute and had so many things to play with. The Crazies are going to have lots of good times in this room. Within a few minutes, Matthew had hoarded all the plastic letters out of the mailbox and Hailey had found a baby to play with. We were forgotten.

All of the parents sat down to talk with the teacher and go through the handbook. Everyone was really nice (except for this weird Dad who kept telling his daughter "there's no crying in baseball." Did he really think that was funny?).

The kids played with all of the toys, colored for a little while, played with trucks, and basically did their own thing. Matt wandered over a few times to see what we were up to, but when he realized how boring it was, he left. He scowled at some little girl who picked up a few plastic letters, but the aide stepped in and crisis was averted.

We left the orientation to see if G.G. had gotten there yet when the surgical center called to say they had a cancellation...could we be there earlier? This meant leaving in about 20 minutes, but we could do this. We dumped the kids at home, I scrubbed all my beauty (i.e. make-up) off, ripped my contacts off, and got into some comfies for surgery.

We jump in the car (you like that? You like how I can make you think I actually have the ability to jump? Well, I don't...) and take off. We get to the main highway and come to a MAJOR stop in traffic. WTF??? We don't have time for traffic.

This is where Husband turned into a superhero...he said, "I have 30 seconds to make a very important decision. If I don't turn around here, we're screwed and we'll never make it." Then I'm pretty sure I heard the angel that resides on his shoulder say, "Yes, but if you do make this u-turn, that will be illegal and you won't get into Heaven."

He did it...he made the illegal turn. I loved him a little more at that point. For most of you, this wouldn't be a big deal, but you have to understand that Husband is a serious rule-follower...no joke. He checks expiration dates religiously, keeps a budget, and researches everything we buy in great detail.

Anyway, we arrived on time, checked in, got fitted for crutches, and I was whisked away to get prepped for surgery. I was busy making friends with all of the nurses...they found me quite entertaining (in my mind). Then Husband came down to entertain me for a little while until surgery started. I introduced him to Dr. W (who still doesn't find me as amusing as I find myself).

Dr. W comes over and asks me how I'm doing and I respond with "No, more importantly, how are you feeling today? You've got the important job to do, not me!!!" I'm pretty sure I saw him and Husband roll their eyes simultaneously.

We say good-bye, they wheel me in the operating room, and I continue making my stupid little jokes. I deal with stress through humor...what can I say? Then I said, "I love you guys! You actually laugh at my jokes and I can barely get Dr. W to crack a smile." To which they all laughed and then promptly put me to sleep (after I encouraged them to "do a good job").

Fade to black...more later.