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Thursday, September 2, 2010

The Awakening (Knee Surgery...continued)

So, I awake to hear all sorts of good news like:
  • She may not shower until Friday (it was Tuesday...awesome).
  • She needs to leave the brace on straight until she get her stitches removed (in 10 days...which means no driving...lovely).
  • She can only remove the brace to shower and then it has to go right back on.
  • She needs to leave the gauze on under the ACE bandage until she showers (which means I can't see my incisions. I want to see my incisions).
  • She must sleep in the brace.
  • She should use the crutches as long as she needs to.
  • She may have nausea and vomiting due to the anesthesia.
  • She cannot sign any legal documents for 24 hours.
  • She must ice the knee every 20 minutes.
I was also asked questions like:
  • Do you have any pain? Nope...can't feel shit!
  • Do you feel nauseous? I don't know...can't feel shit!
  • Is this brace too tight? I don't know...probably...can't feel shit!
  • Can you use the bathroom? Hell yeah...if I can find the seat with my ass! Remember, I can't feel shit! Then I bitched about the seat being up and asked the nurse who let the doctor use the bathroom...haha.
  • Can you feel any throbbing around the knee? Nope...can't feel shit!
We got home and the kids were napping. My mother/G.G. looked at me like I was the most pathetic person in the world while I crutched my way up to the house and proceeded to collapse on the recliner.

I'm pretty sure that Husband and G.G. were thinking that I should go upstairs, but I just wanted to have a semi-normal day (WTF?). I had a snack and was waiting for Husband to get back with the drugs. He also brought an extra ice pack, a couple of magazines, and a 3 Musketeers.

The kids woke up from their naps and found it very strange that I had this huge "black" on my "knee." They were talking about the brace I'm guessing. Then they forgot I existed because G.G. as here and was much more fun than I.


I took my first Perco.cet around 4:30 and that was a huge mistake. It made me feel horribly high and then totally nauseous. I couldn't keep my eyes open and the Ramen that I ate for dinner (what am I? 18 and in college again? Ramen??? Seriously???) did not stay down. Looking back, I was also horribly dehydrated even though I drank a ton of water when I got home. I won't be taking any more of those...you can bet on that. I have been relying on Tyl.enol since then.

I slept well that night except for Matt getting up several times. I am so over this "I'm not going to sleep through the night ever in my life as a human being" crap that he's going through. It sucks. I can't get up to help him, so I just lay there helpless as someone else goes to him. The real pain started yesterday morning. The brace seems to push down on the gauze and ACE bandage when I stand up, so that's pretty awesome. There's nothing I can do but reposition the brace and hope for the best.

Funny little story: Husband tried to reposition the brace for me and slid it up my leg to avoid it pushing on the gauze. As he's pushing it up, I say, "stop...that's enough. It's in my vagina!" He says, "Oh, is that too high!" Haha...I thought that was hysterical. He thought I was a sicko.

It sucks not being able to play with my kids. It sucks not being able to make dinner. It sucks not being able to roll over in bed. It sucks not to take a shower, but I am on the road to recovery and just need to do everything I can do to get better. I'm glad the operation is behind me although I know there is a lot more work to go.

We just found out that Husband's mother is going to come in next week to hang with the Crazies which is awesome. Husband is going to take off Tuesday for the kids' first day of pre-school. I have not yet determined whether or not I'll make it...we'll see how I'm feeling after the weekend, but it's killing me to think that I might miss it. MomMom will come in on Wednesday and stay through the week...after that, Dr. W has cleared me to go to the beach the following week. I just have to have no complications or infection and promise to do my exercises. I'm thinking at that point, I'll be willing to do anything to leave the confines of my house!!

Here is Big Black...my brace.