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Sunday, September 19, 2010

Lowering Expectations, Football, and Loss (Sadly this is my thought process lately...all over the place)

Lowering Expectations:

Okay, so one of your comments really made me think...ya know, like an adult? Thank you, Marcia for putting it in perspective. About a hundred people in America have told me what she told me, but I guess I needed to hear it from a woman in South Africa...what is wrong with me?? Anyway, Marcia contends that I need to lower my expectations until I'm healed and change my "definition of success." Good point...I am not a failure b/c I didn't take my kids to the park, I am a success because I brought them downstairs without dropping them! How's that for a change???

Here are my daily expectations for this week (not including the things I have to do legally, like feed and clothe the Crazies):


Monday - Get kids to school, get PT paperwork done, pick kids up from school, get them up for naps, get them down from naps, give them a snack, go to PT for initial evaluation, and eat dinner.
Tuesday - Get kids to and from school, arrange dates/times for PT, tutor at night.
Wednesday - Tutor at night
Thursday - Get through the day
Friday - Get through the day

Husband is going to Philly next weekend for a baseball game, so it will just be us. We could go along, but I'm not sure if I want to do that or not at this point. It's going to be hard without him though...we'll see.

Football:

I am so glad it's back. There is no better reason to sit on my ass all day and do nothing. I love it.
Go Giants!!

Loss:

My Aunt Gail has been in the hospital for a while. She suffered with alcoholism for most of her life and it just got to be too hard. There were times she was struggling when no one even had a clue. Sadly, it all just got to be too much for her though and she passed away last night. My Mom and two of her other sisters were there with her during her last hours. She was a guidance counselor at a high school for years. She was only 56. There are so many parts of her life that she kept in complete secret out of embarrassment or shame, I'm guessing. There was so much that we just never know...that we will never know. She was a wonderful Aunt. She loved us and we loved her. She could totally change the mood in the room by sarcastically raising her eyebrow at something that we said. It was hysterical. I will never forget her laugh or the fact that she was the only person that didn't totally annoy me when she called me "Becky."

Aunt Gail, I hope you are at peace now and can find happiness wherever you are. I know it's what you've always been searching for. You deserve it and you will be missed very very much.

Aunt Gail is in the middle...love this picture.