Ummm...Please Don't Steal My Craziness...Okay? Thanks!

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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Skinny Jeans on Boys...Seriously???

Okay, so I started tutoring again last week and have spent the past two night in the library.  I have seen kids that I used to teach, parents that I used to avoid, and friends that I have missed.  It's a regular jamboree up there.

Then I saw this kid (God, I wish I took a picture)...he seemed harmless enough.  Just a kid at the library doing homework and not having a clue.  I have a stream of advice for this kid though.  Here goes:

  1. Skinny jeans may just not be for you.  Not because you're fat or anything (because you're not), but because they're ugly.  Why would you want to do that to yourself as a young man in his prime?  You're ruining your life with these skinny jeans...wise up!
  2. If you're going to wear skinny jeans, please pull them up.  As a mature woman, I could do without seeing your underwear...
  3. Turquoise?  For reals???
  4. If you're going to wear those skinny jeans and you're not going to pull them up, could you at least change your underwear?  It's pretty gross that I had to experience those turquoise wonders two days in a row.  Actually, it's pretty gross that YOU had to experience those turquoise wonders two days in a row...dontcha think?
I am just over this skinny jeans thing for boys.  Did you know that they sell them in children's stores now?  For toddlers?  Who came up with that?  Yes, your tiny toddler ass can look huge because you're probably storing 3 hours of urine in your diaper, but your legs are going to look like little toothpicks...looking good, Kid!!!
Thanks for playing...rant over (for tonight...I'm sure I'll find something tomorrow)!!!

Travel...Help Me, Please!!!

So, I'm going on this trip.

It will involve air travel and a hotel stay.  Neither of which I have ever done with the Crazies.

My question is, what will I absolutely have to bring with me???

Here is where I am so far:
  • I am not bringing Pack and Plays...that would just be demented.  I'm going to ask the time share company if they can provide cribs in our room and pray that they're not death traps.
  • I am bringing the stroller...duh.  I gate check that, right?  Should I identify it with any important information?
  • I am considering those little leash/harness thingies for the airport as I know I can't keep them in the stroller the entire time, but I would still really like to keep them from getting abducted.  Hmmm...maybe I'll just leave Matt in a poopy/poopie (how the fuck do you spell poopy?) diaper.  No one wants a stinky kid!  I kid, I kid...
  • I do not think I'll be able to haul the booster seats for meals with us.  I just think they're too big.
  • Can we say DVD Player???  I think that is going to be a must for us.
  • What about toys?  When we travel, we normally bring a bag of the kids' toys with us, but I don't think that is going to work for this trip.  What can I bring instead?
What else?  Am I forgetting anything?