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Thursday, October 28, 2010

Fade to Black...

I do this every year.

It's one of those things that I can count on...like hating waking up in the dark, not really "getting" daylight savings time, and vowing (once again) to continue pedicures throughout the Winter.

I can't help myself.

I want to wear black, only black, and nothing but black!!!

As I retrieve my winter clothes from their appointed position, I find myself thinking things like:

"Ahhhh...there you are favorite 3/4 sleeve black turtleneck (with the little buttons on the sleeves).  Why can't I find anyone else in the world like you?  You're the best...even though I've had you since before the Crazies were born...um, even though you're definitely starting to look a little worn...um, er, even though you may not be a true black anymore.  I love you"

OR

"Hey!  Black turtleneck sweater...I've missed you, you cuddly little thing!  I hope to wear you more this year as all I did last year was sweat through the entire Winter as I maneuvered the Crazies in and out of the car more times than I care to count.  I'm sure I won't sweat at much this year though...after all, they're much more independent.  We'll have lots of good times together, black turtleneck sweater."
OR

"No, no, no...these sweaters must be first in the closet so I can grab them at a moment's notice.  After all, they'll be worn more than any of the others.  The other ones...the colored ones...are for special occasions!  Come here, my black sweaters...come closer...closer...that's right.  This is where you deserve to be"

Ummm...what is wrong with me?

This morning, I was getting dressed and trying to find another pair of jeans outside of my "go to" jeans...after all, I can't wear them every day, can I?  Or can I?

So, as soon as I put them on, I remembered why they weren't my "go to" jeans...while they may fit my a$$, they are too loose on my waist and force me to wear a belt.  I hate belts...some people find them to be a perfectly acceptable accessory, but I find that all they do it make my tummy look like it sticks out and doesn't allow my clothes to fit smoothly.  Ugh...belts.

Anyway, I chose a maroon t-shirt to go with them (that's right...I said t-shirt...it's been horribly warm and humid on the East Coast this week.  We've had our air conditioning on for most of the week!).  I put it on and said, "nah...this won't work...where's my black t-shirt?"

WHAT???  A dark maroon t-shirt is just too bright for you?  Is it hurting your eyes?  Do you look like an Easter egg?  Is Rainbow Brite knocking at your door?  Nope...just wasn't working...fade to black.

Nice, innocent Rainbow Brite
Slutty Rainbow Brite...WTF?

Tell me about some Winter habits that you fall back on year after year after year...other than gaining weight...I'm sick of people complaining about their weight.