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Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Say What Wednesday...

Bathtime...one cold and windy night...

Hailey:  I gotta get out...I gotta poop (with desperation)
Mommy:  Okay, here you go...
Hailey:  I do it!
Mommy:  Fine.
Matt:  Look...(whizzing his little brain out in the tub).  I go peepee.
Mommy:  Great (sarcastically)
Hailey:  I done!
Mommy:  Oh good...did you poop?
Hailey:  Yes!
Mommy:  No, you didn't...sigh...get back in the tub.
Hailey:  I cold.
Mommy:  I'm sure you are...get back in the tub and you'll be warmer (trying to pull some thread of logic into the conversation).
Daddy:  (giggle...return to checking his phone...work emails, my ass)
Mommy:  I'll help you.
Hailey:  I do it.
Matt:  NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!  NO GET IN!!!!
Hailey:  I get in...I cold!
Mommy:  Why can't she get in?
Matt:  THERE'S PEE PEE!!!!!!  SHE NO GET IN PEE PEE!!!!
Mommy:  Oh, you don't want her to get in because you peed in the tub?
Hailey:  I cold.
Matt:  Yeah, right there...NO GET IN THE PEE PEE!!!!
Daddy:  Haha...(returns to checking his "work emails")
Mommy:  Hailey, it's fine.  You can get in.  The pee pee went away.
Matt:  NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  THE PEE PEE IS RIGHT THERE AND SHE NO STEP IN IT!!!
Hailey:  Ew...
Mommy:  It's fine (exasperated at this point...ya think?)...just get in the tub.  Matt, the pee went away.
Matt:  NOOOOOOOOO!!!!  (now he's trying to physically block Hailey from getting in the tub.  When it gets semi-dangerous, I intervene.  See?  I'm a good parent sometimes.)
Hailey:  I COLD!!!  I GET IN TUB!!!  I DO IT!!!
Mommy:  Okay, Matt, let's get rid of the pee so Hailey can get in, okay?
Matt:  Yeah (tearfully at this point...that is how upset he was)...
Mommy:  Okay, ready?  KICK THE PEE PEE!!!  KICK IT AND GET RID OF IT!!!
Matt:  YEAH!!!!  (kicking furiously)
Hailey:  YEAH!!!!  (kicking furiously with the one leg that actually made it over the side of the tub.)
Mommy:  See?  The pee pee is all gone and Hailey can get in.  Problem solved.
Daddy:  (puts the phone down and is actively laughing at my "solution")
Mommy:  All better?
Hailey:  I gotta get out...I gotta poop (with desperation)
Mommy:  ohmygod...getmeouttaherebeforeikillthem!!!!
Daddy:  Okay, who wants to get shampooed (as I quickly made my exit before my head exploded).

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Quick dilemma for which I need help...leftovers.  The bain of my existence (even more so b/c Husband rarely eats them).  

I gave my kids pancakes with leftover batter this morning.  This evening, as I was going through the fridge, I found another (newer looking) container of pancake batter.  Now I'm wondering if I gave the kids salmonella or e.coli (since Matt has been having horrendous shits and blaming them on his "pineapple, strawberries, oh, all the fruit, chicken, etc.).  How do you label your leftovers?  Or are you so perfect that you can remember when you made certain meals (if you're that perfect...just keep it to yourself and pretend to be a failure like me)?