Yes, that's an illustration of the latest item of baby crap that is giving me the terrors.
For serious.
The Crazies have only used the binks for sleep times...naps and bedtime. We will defer to the occasional use on long car trips, but that's it. They do not have them any other time. I have stood firm on that.
So, why do they have to give them up now? Doesn't anyone realize what this means for me???
Yes, it's all about me...they'll barely remember this, but I'll remember it for a long long time.
Matt wakes up just about every night. He has bad dreams that confuse him and wake him into a state of panic (that's right...the fun never ends).
I stumble in there, grab a bink, lovingly shove it into his mouth after slamming it into his cheeks several times...it's damn dark in there, lay him back down, cover him, and stumble back into bed (possibly cursing at Husband who hasn't moved at all).
It's so freaking easy!!!! He's back to sleep in seconds and so am I.
Why in the world would I give that up?
When Husband's sister fell pregnant (I say that like it's a disease...WTF?), we decided that when Baby L came, we'd take the binks away from the Crazies and explain that the new baby needed them. They'd understand, right? They'd totally get it and we'd all be happy.
We've talked about it for a while.
We've ignored their whines that they don't want to do it.
We're the parents dammit...what we say goes and we made this decision.
Except I can't do it.
I can't let go.
So, at 6:01 this morning when Husband asked me if I had to get up last night because apparently he can't hear the babies waking up on his side of the bed which is a whole 3 feet away from mine...WTF???, I answered him.
"Yes, twice. Matt woke up with bad dreams."
"You know, we're going to have to get rid of the binks soon."
"Why?" (clearly 6:04 AM is not my best time to have a serious conversation)
"It's time...Baby L is here and we said we'd do this."
"I do not recall that." (That's right...I pulled the Bill Clinton)
"Seriously...we have to do it."
"I don't wanna." (Yes, I whined, but only because this impacts me...not him, O Deaf One on the other side of the bed.)
"Okay...well, maybe we could do it slowly."
Scared silence answered him from my side of the bed...if I stopped talking, maybe he'd think the conversation was over and shut up.
"Maybe when we go in at night, we'll only give them their bink if they ask for it."
"Okay...that might work. But let me clarify, by 'we,' you mean 'me,' right?"
(heavy sigh) "I seriously don't hear them, but when I do, I go in, right?"
"I guess...it hasn't happened in so long that I can't remember."
(another heavy sigh...he's big into nonverbals) "Okay, whatever, let's start this...only if they ask for it."
"Okay." (meekly)
OMGwhatthefuckdidijustdo????
I'mgoingtoberubbingbackslikeallofthoseothersoothingmothersoutthereandthat'sjustnotme!!!!
I'mgoingtodie!!!!
"See you downstairs."
"Um...yeah." (all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball of my own pity and cry)
So, it starts tonight...Operation Screw Mommy Out of Any Sleep. I'll keep you updated, of course...that's how I roll.
Bahahahahaa...as I wrote this, Hailey started screaming "my pink bink, my pink bink" and wouldn't you know? I ran right up there to give it to her buy myself 20 more minutes to read blogs...well, she asked for it, right?
31 comments:
I totally get the sleep thing. I am also the one who usually gets up. We finally got my almost 3 year old sleeping through the night, but I was the one who said he could just sleep with us so I could get some sleep. For us, it wasn't too bad of a week getting him to sleep through, but I totally get not wanting to deal with sleep deprivation. Is there any reason that you have do do the binky thing now?
Oh man, I am not looking forward to this. With my son, he just tossed his pacifier at about 9 months and never looked back. Cadee might do something like that, but Ky is a pacifier addict. She gets this crazy look in here eyes when she is on the hunt for a pacifier.
Good luck, I hope it goes well.
Ha Love it.
There is no easy way out is there?
Here's where I want to champion that we NEVER used binks, but heaven forbid something happen to those damn pink fuzzy lovies. I'm sure they'll be taking to those on their honeymoons'!
There is always coffee, lots of coffee. And wine a night, to help you sleep through the cries...? GL!
Yep! I'm assuming my kids will be at least 14 before we try to get rid of the pacifier at night. I am positive that they (meaning them and ME) will NEVER sleep without it :)
I love your posts.... You always make me laugh :-)
It always makes me smile when I realize how much we have in common. My husband hardly ever hears my twins in the night, he always says "but i just don't hear them" drives me nuts.
We took my twins pacifiers away at 2 1/2. we went cold turkey and it went surprisingly well. and they started sleeping thru the night, finally!
Good luck to you!
I remember when I took away Kyla's binky (fyi the out of sight out of mind is more for the mom's than it is the kids). I swear I probably missed that thing more than she did! Oh.. and night time was hell (for the exact reason you say it's going to be) She wakes up, I put binky in mouth, we both go back to bed! I had no clue what I was going to do when she woke up.. I tried the whole soothing crap and that didn't work. After losing endless hours of sleep, I did the cry it out method. She woke up, and she would cry for a while and eventually fell back asleep. It only took maybe a week or so and finally she wouldn't even wake up at night! Good luck!! (oh and I think it's a guy thing.. Tyler can never hear kyla wake up either.. strange).
OK, now I have a dilemma. Do I agree with your husband and perhaps suffer this coming weekend when I visit, or do I suggest that they will outgrow them at their own pace so I still see them as babies? Hmmm
I must say, I just love reading your posts - you're hysterical. But in all seriousness, I have no idea how I am going to deal with it when baby Dawson needs to get rid of his paci...I'm afraid to even think about it.
My husband "can't hear" Maddie either. Since I nursed her for so long, naturally I was the one to get up. But now that either one of us can comfort her at night, why should I be the only one to go in there? My husband will go, but I have to poke him awake. Why he can't hear her over the monitor when it is closer to him than me, I will never understand. Selective hearing, I think.
I have a binkie like confession to make too....only...I just can't bring myself to do it...you know...like out in the open. Where people can and will ridicule me. Because binkie's aren't really that big of a deal.
Mine's probably a bigger deal. But I'm fighting and uphill battle and right now I really don't have the energy to go it alone....so I'm choosing the path of least resistance.
just know you aren't alone. And I say at least every other time the binkie signal is thrown in the depths of the night, a swift kick to dear hubby's side of the bed is landed. Maybe then his ears will wake up *batting eyelashes*
Just Allie uses them but it's no help her sister will find them and give them to back her if we try to hide them.
Hubby once asked Allie "Can we throw it away, you're a big girl now" - which she did and then promptly burst into tears.
Oh, how I sympathize. Once upon a time, my girls were getting really good at using their pacis only at naptime and bedtime...then they started school and began being sick more often. Now, the darn things are near-permanently attached to their faces! We are working on getting back to the naptime/bedtime thing, but they may very well still sleep with pacies at age five (kidding, kidding...mostly!). I love my sleep and I absolutely dread fighting this battle.
You seriously crack me up EVERY.SINGLE.TIME I read your blog! I have a feeling I'll be in your same boat in not so long. My oldest never took a bink, but my littlest one is ADDICTED to it! YIKES! I'll look forward to hearing about the success of "Operation Screw Mommy out of Sleep!" I swear us Mommies will NEVER know what sleeping through the night is! Oh the joys of Mommyhood!
Oh, the dreaded days of taking away the paci. I remember it oh so well - the screams, crying, etc.
I am not looking for the days of taking Ty's away (and he is not even here yet!) - let's face it pacis are Mom's sanity. : )
But I totally have to give you props for pulling a Bill Clinton gem out of your morning brain. That's amazing.
My sympathies (I say that like someone just died!). Aubrey used hers like your kiddos: naps and bedtime. And if I could do it again, I would have waited until she was ready to give up naps. Because she hasn't napped very well since then. So now it's a battle at naps AND at most bedtimes. And she lost her paci mid-November. Granted, she is exceptionally strongwilled...!
Maybe pretend you don't remember this morning's conversation??????
I have one seriously addicted to her nuk and I have no idea when I will break her.
I have heard bribing them with little toys each morning, giving to a new baby, etc. Good luck!
hahahaha...too funny....because I know EXACTLY what you are saying. First of all, we have 4 kids, and my hubby NEVER gets up. Never. Ever! Secondly, I got nothin' for ya if you are needed suggestions. MY first 3 sucked on their binkies for ever. It soothes so instantly. And I just figure...you pick your battles...and pay for braces later.
Oh No! How did it go?
I've heard of the binky fairy. You leave the binky's in a bag in a tree outside and next day there are presents instead. Also "they" say in three days for transition. Good luck, it's not called the "Yuck Zone" for nothing. Have you switched to toddler beds?
O.K., I am going to tell you a very big secret.... You ready? My Miss Molly will be 3 in 7 days and still is a plug sucker. It is her very best friend! It totally is going to break her heart when we finally say enough is enough! My heart is going to break a little too! We have slowly gotten down to bedtime, but I know that for a 3 year old that is too much. Just typing this comment made me realize it is time for a date to be set. Good luck to both of us!
Jacob sucked his thumb but Adam and Sarah both had pacis. We took them away at a year b/c we knew it'd be harder to do the older they got. Sarah immediately started sucking the tags of her blankie instead and has ever since.
jacob amazingly stopped sucking his thumb all on his own sometime around age 3...we just realized it one day that he'd stopped and I was part relieved and part sad (he looked kinda cute). Sarah was still sucking her tags this winter and when our dentist asked if she took a paci, I told them no but explained the tags. He could tell she had consistent sucking behavior and said it was already shifting her teeth. He told her she had to stop and she amazingly did that night. As far as I can tell - she hasn't since then. In fact...kinda sadly - she doesn't even really want her blankie at all anymore - I don't know if she's worried about the temptation or if she just doesn't want it if she can't suck the tags. ???
Adam thankfully only sucks on his tags a tiny bit - nothing consistent enough to be 'habit' or worry about. Now if only he'd stop biting...
I imagine how hard that would be...but if you want to flash forward to what it'll be like if you don't take them away now...watch Toddlers and Tiara's. I watched 10 minutes and wanted to knock the kid and the mom senseless. The girl was like 4 and would scream like a banshee if she couldn't find it and she talked like a baby to get it.
Also the fact that my little cousin is 3 and her parents didn't take it away and she developed a huge lisp from it that they're now working on getting to go away.
Best of luck with it :)
I love it when my hubby makes suggestions about something, when I'M the one that has to deal with 99% of it!!! :)
Best of luck with the binks! We don't have a bink issue, but Baby B is a thumb sucker when she sleeps. So far it's not an issue, but I know it will be one day...and we can't exactly launch a ploy to give her thumb away. I dread that one...
okay seriously, what's the big deal? there's no harm in letting them have it til they're 10, right? (I'm taking that approach :))
And when did you become a blog rock star? 25 comments before mine LOL
D does morning duty (the 5:30 thing) and I don't interfere how he does it - it impacts his life so what do I care, I'm sleeping :)
okay i just read Barbara's comment and now I'm a bit scared :)
My son was a paci addict - like it was in his mouth almost 24/7 but he liked it so I let him keep it. Everyone told me it was going to be impossible to get him to get rid of it. But one morning, he was 26 months, he woke up and brought me the paci and told me it was for babies. He never used it again. So strange b/c I never even talked to him about not using it. it actually made me sad that he grew up overnight. now if only i could convince him that diapers are for babies too.
oh the horrer! we finally got her to only have it while sleeping and in the car, that's good enough right?! eep.
If mine wants to suck it during graduation, I don't care. I don't have any energy left to deal with it.
Addy = no paci but maybe 5 times. Twins = used during sleep time. A little over a year, I took them away, and started with nap and they did not care in the slightest. I would have caved if they started crying and asking for it, I'm sure.
E still has random night terrors, and I just go in, pick him up calm him down and he goes back to sleep. What do these boys dream about?
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