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Thursday, March 17, 2011

Sorry Oprah, but I Disagree With You (oh, and I seriously thought your last season would be better)

Poor Oprah...I'm about to disagree with her and I'm sure that's what she's been dreading all these years.

What could Oprah possibly be wrong about???

Hmmm...of all of the things that she has possibly proclaimed, how could she have gone astray?

I can tell you though...I don't blame her for taking this stand.  After all, this particular group of people have been lining her pockets for years.  Don't wanna piss them off, right?

For years, Oprah has proclaimed that being a stay-at-home-mother is the hardest job in the universe.

Well, I completely disagree.

That's right.  I said it.  I disagree with Oprah.  Let the stoning begin.
Are there hard parts?  Absolutely.

Are there parts that make me want to pull my hair out?  Definitely.

Are there parts that make me hit a wall and walk out of the room out of sheer frustration?  Of course.

Are there months that we could really really use that second salary?  Ummm...yup.

Are there parts that make me think that I suck as a mother?  Haha...no doubt.

BUT

Are there parts that are really fun?  Oh yeah...

Are there parts that make me feel like a kid again?  Naturally.

Are there easy parts?  Yes!  (but don't tell Husband...shhhhhh...)

Are there parts that challenge my creativity and thrill me when they work out?  I'd say whenever I tackle a crafty project...not my strong point.

Are there parts that make me feel incredibly lucky to have made the choices that we made so I could stay home?  Every single day.

Are there parts that make me take a picture with my phone b/c I made a really cute lunch?  Yeah...sometimes I hit a high note.  (God, I'm a loser)

Is it the hardest job in the universe?  Absolutely not.

I wonder if I feel this way because I was a teacher before this Mom stuff.  Being a teacher is ridiculously hard and exhausting (especially if you pour your entire being into it...which most teachers do) and maybe I was just used to that, so doing it with my own kids seems like second nature.  

I wonder if I was more careful with other people's kids because I didn't want to screw them up and I'm a little more relaxed with my own because I think I can fix them later on down the road!  Maybe that's why it feels more like fun than work to me.

I wonder if I feel really really lucky because I can spend this much time with my kids...trust me, I never saw this coming.  I typically don't even like kids.  I actually like mine though!


So, you may ask, what IS the hardest job in the universe?

I'd say working Moms...

You guys hold it all together on a daily basis.

You organize more than anyone knows...meals, clothes, doctor's appointments, meetings, conferences, family outings, work stuff (depends on what you do), your own clothes, exercise time, date nights, etc...the list goes on and on.

What do you think?  Am I way off base?

Have I lost my cotton-picking mind?  (what does that mean anyway?  Is that a southern thang?)

Is Oprah going to come after me and kick my ass?  Or will she send Gayle?  I'd crush Stedman, so I don't think that's going to happen.


Oooooh...come see me over here today too!

27 comments:

Emily said...

Hi there! Found you over at M&M. This post is great. I think Oprah always says that because she's too terrified not to (with her zero experience in the area, unless you count her dogs-Ha!). I agree that she doesn't know what she's talking about. Until you are a mother yourself, you don't even begin to know how it affects you. But I do think it's THE most important job, which is where it gets hard. To me it's the worry, and having someone else's life in my hands that makes it so difficult at times. The emotional stuff. But being a mom is way too fun and rewarding to call it the hardest job in the universe. Not sure what that job would be, and I'm glad I don't have it.

Heather (One Take On Life) said...

I was a working mom for the first 2 years of my sons life and it was awful. But he always got sick, whatever posted at daycare, he got. So I had that guilt.

I think Working moms have so much on their shoulders. I do think in some ways they have it harder.

But you have to remember some women don't want to stay at home, they want to work, to them staying at home might be hell. I have met some moms that feel this way. And I get it. Heck my own husband says he could never stay at home with our kids, it would drive him nuts.

I love being a stay at home mom, I do, I feel grateful that I can.
But it still has its low points some days.

SMS said...

I have to agree with you girly! I am a stay at home mom myself but I have several very good friends who are working mothers and I am constantly amazed at how they are able to keep it together so well.. I think I would just sort of slowly melt a stress related death if I had to add one more thing to my plate.. we could certainly use the extra $$ too (hubby is a teacher) but honestly I don't think I could handle it. Working moms are my heroes ... for reals!

Courtnay said...

Thanks for the shout out to us working moms! I think I really needed that today along with more than 5 hours of sleep a night and an industrial strength dose of caffeine. I was lucky enough to stay home for a few years when darling son was young. I found it hard...I felt like everything in my house and yard and my kid had to be perfect because that was how I measured my worth. I think at times that burden was hard on everyone. I found that I was happier after I went back to work. My kid still needs to be perfect:)...ask him how that feels...at almost sixteen he'll be happy to tell you. But you'll find some weeds in my garden, crumbs on my kitchen floor and my car hasn't been washed in six weeks...and I'm okay with that. I'm forever trying to find the balance between home and work but I'm a happier mother. You know what they say...when momma is happy everyone is happy and when momma isn't happy well... look out! Gosh, it's great to hold all the power!:) Happy day!

MandyE (Twin Trials and Triumphs) said...

I've heard Oprah say this before, too, and I think she usually says it's the hardest job "if you do it 'right'".

And I think that's what's hard about it. What is "right"?

If you work, you have an organizational structure that tells you what is "right". When you only answer to your kids, it's so much harder to know.

And because that ambiguous "right" is what we're all striving for,
I think that's what makes this job "hard".

No matter how "hard" it is to maintain focus and motivation, and not just turn on Oprah to drown out the kiddos for a little while, though, I agree there's nothing I'd rather be doing right now! :)

Great post!

Deb said...

I love this post! Right now I work part time, but in April I'm going back to full time. I'm REALLY going to miss all that time with my kids, but I look forward to the day that we are in a place for me to stay at home. Thanks for all the inspiration you give us!

Ellie said...

Well hm...this is a hard question because whether or not it is the hardest job ever really depends on which day you ask me. You know how that is, some days are good, some are ok and some make me think I must be the worst mother ever. It is really really really hard though, if it is not the hardest in the universe. I will say that working mothers have it pretty hard too. They have to work all day and still do the hardest part of the day (the dinner/bath/bedtime part, for me anyway). Plus they still have to clean, shop, do laundry, etc. But, and this is a big but, they get to be around adults all day. Big people that don't beat eachother up, scream, backtalk and throw things. Hmm...

Anonymous said...

Im a lurker but love your blog! I am a singleton (6) and twin (18mth) and working mom. Thank you so much for the shout out to working moms!!! All I ever hear is the negative about working moms from stay at home moms and really it is not a competition. In reality some families have to have both parents working to put food on the table. But that does NOT make us less of a parent than one who stays at home all day with the kids. I actually feel proud of myself to juggle so many things and still have happy and healthy children. Although I commend the stay at home mom too because there is no way that I could do that. There is cudos that belong to both sides of the argument!

Anonymous said...

Im a lurker but love your blog! I am a singleton (6) and twin (18mth) and working mom. Thank you so much for the shout out to working moms!!! All I ever hear is the negative about working moms from stay at home moms and really it is not a competition. In reality some families have to have both parents working to put food on the table. But that does NOT make us less of a parent than one who stays at home all day with the kids. I actually feel proud of myself to juggle so many things and still have happy and healthy children. Although I commend the stay at home mom too because there is no way that I could do that. There is cudos that belong to both sides of the argument!

Jules said...

I suppose to use a comparitive is hard for me since I've "only" been a working mom, but yeah, it's not fun sometimes. Don't see the girls a lot M-F, good luck having something decent for our dinner, etc...... (Not to mention we can not leave without forgetting something) I do agree with the poster though that some are cut out moreso for one than the other. Oh, even better, working with DH and once in awhile bringing work home once they're in bed.

Mom said...

Wow! I am truly impressed that you have the courage to go against the trend. There is nothing more gratifying to know that you had the luxury of staying home with your children to give them a secure start to life. Plus you are recording it so you will remember all of those special moments. I wish I had been able to do it for you kids.

Life with Gemelos said...

Have to agree with you on this one! Being a teacher I get to experience both the "working mom" side during the school year and the "SAHM" side in the summer. I would choose the SAHM any day over the working Mom. I do love my job, my students, and my coworkers, but life would really be so much less hectic if all I could just stay home with my girls every day!
That being said...I think SAHMs work their tails off and I think they deserve lots of kudos!

Sarah said...

I am a working mom who could never imagine staying at home. I need my escape to work.

I think it's a matter of perspective and personal preference. I'd go crazy being a stay-at-hom mom, so I think it's a harder job than being a working mom.

MiMi said...

I think it's more like it has such gravity to it, but not the hardest.
I disagree with everything Oprah says, on principle. :)

Andrea said...

Thanks for the shout out to us working Moms...it is much appreciated! It put a smile in my face! I would love to be a SAHM, but my fear is this " would I be good at it"? I am a person that has always given kudos to SAHM's, so it is nice to have some kudo's paid back!

Barbara Manatee said...

o.m.g. Can I jump through this computer and kiss you? Thanks for the shout out to working Moms!

This 'debate' goes on a lot in my MoM's group..it seems all the SAHMs in the group think the working moms have it easy - that we get to 'escape' each day - have a life outside of our home/kids. Meanwhile...while they complain about this and that and all the laundry and the cleaning and the errands...I still have to do all that - but in MUCH less time than they do - PLUS miss time with my kids - PLUS feel guilty for any time away.

And the thought of then taking any time for myself outside of work? I don't think they make a G big enough to go in front of Guilt.

I'm sure we could make it work on DH's income but we'd have to do some serious budgeting and hope and pray everyone is healthy and safe b/c our health insurance would be awful compared to what I can get from my employer.

I will say I'm glad I do something that makes an impact. Teaching other kids at least makes me feel like I'm really doing something worthy of my time outside the home. If I was doing something else like working retail (not that its not worthy - but its just not as rewarding as teaching is to me)...I don't think I could do it. (Gosh I hope that made sense...don't want to offend anyone...)

I'm extremely grateful for my nights, weekends and summers off. I used to always work summer school before we had kids...but you couldn't pay me enough to do it now. I'm already starting to think ahead of the fun things we'll do this summer!!!

I like to say I get to be a SAHM for 2 months...but my friend teases me I can't be a SAHM...we're never home! I love that we can be on the go - play dates, zoos, parks, friends, visits, etc! Its the best!

krayzid0rk said...

Oprah's a mom? I totally didn't know that.

But I completely agree with you. It's hard when they wet the bed everynight and they're too old to be doing that. It's hard when they have no discipline at the other home so you spend a day getting them back on track. There's a lot that's hard but seeing them genuinely happy and having so much fun. Knowing that you are giving them that is the best part. Knowing that you are keeping them safe and secure is easy. It'd be so much harder to hand them off to a daycare and think you had it easy.

I absolutely hate the days when I work and I miss out on appts and going to the park. It really is the hardest when you're working and juggling.

I guess I'll see if I still agree when Emery is born and i'm with him EVERYDAY, not just 4 days a week when we have the boys.

I still am in shock that she has children?

Carrie27 said...

I'm with you. Working full time and taking care of the kiddos, mostly on my own, was a lot harder then it is being home with them. I love being home with them all day, especially because I missed so much from their first couple of years. I'm glad we are making it work.

Meant to be a mom said...

Well aren't you so sweet to think you don't have it as hard as us working moms do. But I actually disagree with both of you :)
I think that working moms and stay at home moms both have serious stresses in their day to day life. Weather its not enough money, kids driving you crazy, needing alone time. Or if its never seeing your kids, rushing to get dinner done, missing them all day and feeling guilty.
I think Moms in general have the hardest job in the world. We worry constantly no matter what the situation, we enjoy we laugh we cry, but all in all our job never ends. We always want to protect, we always want to be there no matter how old they are.
That's just my opinion.

Marcia (123 blog) said...

I think it depends on who you are.

I am not a SAHM type - I would go nuts.... so for me, it would be one of the hardest jobs.

For other people who could not imagine leaving the kids, maybe mine is one of the hardest jobs as a working mother.
:)

Mr. Thompson and Me said...

I think you may be right...because I can't imagine trying to do everything - and then do it well. Something has gotta give.

(p.s. - I'm with you on the last season bit too. Way mo' bedda!)

Lindsey B. said...

LOVE IT! You are so right! There are days when I'd really rather be sitting in front of a computer with no one pulling on my pant leg, wanting juice, needing to go potty, etc... but then I would miss out on so much!
YES! Being a stay at home mom is a JOB! But it's probably not the hardest job in the world. Some days - it might be. On a good day, when we all sleep till 8, nap on time, and mommy gets to shower, life is good! On other days, I'd KILL to have deadlines and a boss breathing down my neck verses a colicky infant, questioning toddler, and a needy dog. But everyone wants what they don't have.... right?! And what does Oprah know about being a stay at home mom anyway? ;)

Holly Ann said...

Funny and poignant! I have to say that I love you for posting this. I do think that stay-at-home moms have a tough job, but working moms do too! I salute ALL the hard working moms!
Btw, I hope you'll come on over to my site today and enter to win a $10 Subway card! Thanks!

~Holly
http://www.twinsplusone.com

Deanna said...

Can I just say that I love you a whole lot for saying this??? : ) I don't know that one group necessarily has it harder than the other, but it is nice (and rare!) to get such a compliment. SAHM or working mom, we all work HARD, and we all love the recognition sometimes!

I echo many of the other comments that I could NOT be a full-time SAHM. I love work for giving me the opportunity to get out and be around other adults, to find fulfillment in projects, etc....but it is hard to catch up everything at home after working all day. I fully admit, though, that after a few days at home, my house looks like a trainwreck! So it's probably good we aren't here all the time.

Mamma Sol said...

As a working teacher and a mother of twins, I wholeheartedly agree with you that the "working mom" thing is the hardest job ever!

Jill said...

I thought you were totally cool before you wrote this and I think you're even cooler now! As a working mom of twins, it's so nice to get props for all that I'm doing (because I don't hear it much from my IRL friends!). And I pray that I'm doing it all well. But SAHMs have their work cut out for them too. The biggest issue I have with moms is that we're not very supportive of each other. All good moms are doing the best they can with the circumstances in their lives and we need to recognize that instead of making it another opportunity to judge them. Okay, off my soapbox!

Boulter trouble said...

I am a working mom. And Thank you for your post. I am not sure if it is even the hardest job o earth, but it is what I do.
And it is very hard at times to juggle all of it, and still have the responsibility of my job.

Thank you.