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Thursday, May 5, 2011

So, Because I Was Sick, They Sent Back My Application for Mother of the Year

That's right...the CFMA (Council for Mom Awards) sent back my awesome application for Mother of the Year just because I got sick.

I'll admit it...being sick doesn't not bring out the best Mom in me, but give me a break!

We were in survival mode...well, I was...the Crazies were feeling much better, so they were in sabotage mode.

I did the best I could...after all, they're still alive, right?  I did drop the ball though...a lot...there were balls all over the place (that's what she said).

Here are just a few of my dropped balls:

  • Let's start with the movies...quite a few were watched all in the last week all in the search of a few minutes of peace and quiet so my head would stop pounding.  Then I committed the biggest sin of all (in my little tiny mind), I put on Madagascar on the way home from the mall yesterday.  I just need some QUIET!!!  In the past, I've told them that the DVD player in the car only works if we're driving more than an hour.  Thank God they can't tell time.

  • A friend of mine called right at the end of lunch the other day.  I wanted to have an actual conversation as she's been crazy busy lately and I've been wrapped in SickWorld, so I relented to the Crazies' requests for a "special treat."  I handed them these gigantic chocolate bunny lollipops that came in an awesome treat package from Papa and let them gnaw away at them while I talked for 15 minutes.  Every time one of them would pipe up with something "important" to say, I would redirect their attention to finishing the ears.  That's right...I only let them finish the ears...I have standards, ya know!!

  • I issued empty threats in the card store.  We had to get Mother's Day cards for everyone and their mother...literally (freaking $40 to Hallmark...thank you very much!).  I took them in there one morning to "help" me decide what to get.  Well, they were instantly enthralled with the Tiana and Cars cards, so I told them they had to hold hands.  This lead to a vicious round of Tug-o-War between the Crazies and I ended up saying things like this:  "If you do that again, we're leaving."  "Stop pulling each other, or we're out of here and we won't get cards for anyone and everyone will hate us."  "Come on, guys...I'm almost finished."  Yeah, empty threats just aren't the norm for me, but I was desperate.  Anyway, it couldn't have been that bad because when I got up to the cashier, she applauded their behavior that told them how good they were.  I smiled wanly because of how lame I was.  The Crazies proceeded to squish the candy bars when she wasn't looking.

  • So, after spending all that time on Mother's Day cards, I promptly left them in the car overnight (er, the cards, not the Crazies...although life would have been much easier for a little while...).  That's right...my foggy little brain just thought they would fill themselves out...fill in their own addresses...and stamp themselves.  WTF???  I realized this yesterday as I got into the car to go to the mall (see below).  I started to fill them out right then and there, but the Crazies started whining about how the car was actually supposed to move once we got in, so I let it go.  They may be late, but they are personally filled out by each Crazy...that's another story entirely.  I believe it was at this time that I started deciding that I need two of me and I started making a list of things the other me could be doing while I drove home from the mall.
It was for these reasons, explicitly stated in their rejection letter that the CFMA rejected my application.  What a bunch of aholes, right?

So, I got the hat mentioned earlier this week...I'm pretty sure that I love it!

Note:  I don't normally rush home from the mall, put my purchases on my body, and then take a picture of myself.  I wanted to show Sister because I got her the same one.  I don't love myself that much!

12 comments:

Sarah said...

Loved the Hallmark story. I will admit that rather than trying to drag my three through Hallmark, I chickened out and went to the Hallmark site, personalized the cards online, and had them send them for me without any input from anybody else. My mother of the year app was rejected as well.

Andrea said...

I think you handled everything like a pro!! Loving the hat too!

MandyE (Twin Trials and Triumphs) said...

Love the hat! And even if you did put it on right after you got home, at least you cut the tag off! :)

I **almost** lost it picking out a couple of MDay cards earlier in the week. I was by myself at Tarjay after the girlies were in bed. There was only one other couple - in their mid-50's - in the card section, so I thought it shouldn't be too bad. But...the woman was reading each of the funny cards to her husband...loudly. I couldn't concentrate on the cards I was trying to read, and I was as close as I've come within recent memory to just unloading on them...I totally would have had I not accidentally almost hit the same lady with my cart (before she started reading aloud). :)

Lisa said...

Hallmark gets a good $40 from me every couple months between birthdays, holidays, graduations, confirmations, anniversaries. Sometimes I wish I didn't care about cards.

Mandy said...

You should love yourself that much! Hat is fab!!

The hub's family is super into cards for every occasion. I get no fewer than 3 cards from the in-laws for each holiday. I just don't get it. I'm so not a card person. That being said, $40! ARE YOU CRAZY?

Tomorrow we're getting out the card stock and scrapbook paper. I have two stamp pads and a bunch of crayons and sticker letters! Card problem solved and it will occupy them while I inhale chocolate in the kitchen to keep myself calm!

Rebecca said...

My kids are oddly well behaved in Hallmark. It's kinda scary they are so well behaved in that place. (Don't worry, they make up for their good behavior there with terrible behavior at other places. Bad, bad, stuff)

andrea said...

if THOSE are the only reasons your application has been revoked, I am out of hte running totally this year :)
that hat looks awesome on you!

daisybv2 said...

I love you in that hat awesome! I can relate on the mothers day card I bought one to my MIL from my Hubby because he told me to send her flowers and I said I am not spending $50 on that *******

So she is lucky she is not getting a .99 card but I did find the stupidest one

Happy Mothers Day!

Barbara Manatee said...

hey..you're still ahead of me on the cards. I just bought some today. I'm sure I'll fail to get them to my mom on time ;-( Bad daughter! At least the consolation will be super cute pics of the kids inside the envelopes :-)

You still get MOTY...You're allowed a few 'off' days, esp when sick! (Heck...a lot of us can't even use being sick for an excuse for half of that!)

Deanna said...

Hope you are feeling better! And you're still a better woman than me on the DVD player...I will now turn it on for the five minute drive from my mom's house to mine in the afternoons, just to avoid the whining. Oh, the things we said we'd never do....

Holly Ann said...

Wait, you mean lots of movie-watching, empty threats to toddlers, and thinking some tasks will just complete themselves are all bad things?? Well, crap. ;)

Thanks for sharing. It was hilarious and relatable as always!

Christina said...

You don't normally rush home and do that? To bad, I do it all the time! ;)