I know I've written about this again, but isn't life with toddlers about constant evolution?
Or the lack thereof?
I'm pretty sure we're regressing.
Every now and then, Husband and I notice an issue that is getting worse and decide that it's time for a change.
Our issue right now is the dreaded bedtime.
I have visions of everyone else's house calm, loving, dimmed lights, soft stories, little tickle sessions, cradling, hugs, kissed, tuck-ins, and soft music as the parents leave the room.
That's how it is all over the world, right?
Except in my house.
My house resonates chaos.
You can probably hear it if you're walking by...and the windows are closed...and you're deaf.
I can typically manage the chaos (I like to call it "mildly controlled chaos"), but by the end of the day, I'm DONE!
Here are some of the requests that we're currently fielding:
- Fix my puzzle.
- I want to read another book.
- The curtains are wrong.
- I got a big boogie.
- I need socks.
- I need lotion.
- I have tears.
- I have tears on my cheeks.
- I have tears on my chin.
- My teeth hurt.
- I'm sick.
- I need water.
- I need new pajamies.
- My hair hurts.
- I'm wet.
- Where's Slush (Hailey's freaking tiny stuffed dog that's impossible to find amongst her million other stuffies in her crib)?
- Tuck Mickey in!
- I need tuck-in.
- I have a cut-nail (that's a hangnail in Crazy Talk).
- I need a tissue.
- My blankie is wet.
- Turn the light back on!
- Come back in here, now!
Don't get me wrong...at least we're not hearing curse words anymore, but this is so freaking annoying!!!! I hate the fact that I'm not enjoying bedtime at all. I have kind of enjoyed the build-up to bedtime...the baths, the pajammies, the stories...I like all of that. It's the aftermath when we actually need to get to bed.
So, not being one to complain without having a solution, here's what we're going to do (and don't be shy to offer your stories or remedies...we could use all the help we can get):
- We are going to switch nights for who does bedtime...we think it might be better when it's just one of us (although, judging from my experience last night, I kind of suck, so I think Husband should do it every night).
- We are going to just leave after a designated amount of time trying to appease them and come back in 5 minutes later if they're still screaming/crying/yelling/throwing their whips at us like slave drivers.
- We are just going to ignore their manipulative asses...they're not hurt, they're spoiled, and they're working us...we're done.
- We are going to drink heavily every night to recover our sanity (this one is a complete lie...maybe...probably...definitely).
Any other ideas?
Disclaimer #1: In general, Matthew is the real culprit of these demands...he's been a real piece of work lately and is definitely earning the title of "Squeaky Wheel." Hailey has been pretty damn awesome.
Disclaimer #2: Now that I've said that, she's going to lose her damn mind as well.
14 comments:
Please don't feel like u are alone with this. My 3 year old twins went thru this phase a while ago, and now bedtime is a peace of cake, well it usually is, there is always an "off night." My husband and I also go back and fourth, alternating nights with bedtime. Seemed to really help when we were having trouble at bedtime. Now they go down fairly good and are sleeping almost 13 hours a night! Good luck!
I am better with bedtime than D because they totally work D. D will go back and forth for about 30 minutes afterwards.
the other night he had had it too and I said, "close the door and ignore the cries" within minutes there was quiet and they were asleep :)
Literally it's all rainbows and unicorns when I do it but I think it's because they know I don't take nonsense.
Have you tried prepping them? "in a few minutes I'm going to pray with you, switch off the lights and then it's time to sleep"
PS you're too wordy for Twitter :) (that's my excuse!)
First, you need this book.
I hate naps and bedtime. We either read a story to all of them on the couch or a story for each in their bed, depends on what they want.
E is the easiest to get to bed (since he is on a no nap kick). Put him in the bed, must have his little blankie on top, a cup in hand, one or two books, his light/music player and done. We don't have to go back in at all.
Girls - headache! When they go to bed at the same time, after turning on their princess light and tucking them in and doing their kiss routine, there are about 15 trips to the bathroom, which eventually end with us leaving their door open which quiets them down and sleep occurs nearly an hour later.
Solution - new house, 4 bedrooms.
i'm so glad to hear this. not for you, of course, but b/c i RESIST opening the windows b/c i'm scared to death that people will hear a baby crying for too long and will freak out on me!
bedtime seems to go better when we do it alone, if i'm at clinic or b's out of town or something. we have our routine. they seem to do fine with it. m goes right to sleep. t? well...he will cry a bit. and talk. and tuck in his stuffed animal. he is usually awake in bed for up to an hour after they go down.
but t's been totally weird lately as well. when he sees someone sleeping he starts crying hysterically. seriously. i think that something is traumatizing to him....but can't figure it out.
can you say mother of the year?
Our bedtimes are like that too, and I only have one to get down. We don't have as many different requests, I just have to repeat myself a thousand times (get in the bathtub now!). Luckily we don't have to be up early in the mornings, since my work is flexible (I log in from home for awhile, then get him ready for school and go in). Since I work full-time, our evenings are extra busy trying to get some housework done and spend lots of time with him. It's not unusual for it to be 10:00-10:30, and occasionally later, before he's in bed. that will have to change soon because 4K preschool starts at 8:30am in September, then 8:00am the following years. Not looking forward to that, since we are all night-owls and hate getting up early!
I give a firm (not mean, just matter-of-fact-firm), "No, it's time for nap," response [because naptime has been our challenge] when the girls start asking for toys, books, etc. The only request (demand?) I give into is "I need to sit on potty!"...as I'm scared $h!tless [no pun intended] not to respond to it...I don't want my hard work potty training to be negated. That's a tough one for me, as I know they milk it sometimes. Grrr...
I agree with just not going back in after some point...and - at least based on other experiences - you may have to give it longer than 5 minutes for them to get the picture.
Hopefully this is just a little phase, and once they "believe" that bedtime means bedtime again, things will settle back down.
In any case, I definitely agree Husband should take over the bedtime duty. Maybe you can offer to go make the drinks while he takes care of it?
I'm sure I posted an extraordinarily similar post a few months ago, so rest assured - you're not alone!! Things have been getting a lot better though. First of all, our twins no longer reside in the same room. Second, we ignore a lot. Sometimes they fuss. Sometimes they don't. But at least I'm not going quite so nuts.
Oh joy... can't wait for this. Bless your heart! I'm sure it will get better... not that I know... but it can only get better, right?!
Oh hon, i have the SAME problem. I have 5 year old twins and a 3 year old. Bedtime since we've taken them out of their cribs is hell. I hate it. I spoke to someone who suggested giving them a flashlight and books and letting them read with the flash light for a bit. Sure sounds good and worked with her kids but with twins? Does anyone that doesn't have twins really understand them? NO. I hate bedtime. I cry at bedtime. I"m a single mommy so I have no switching on and off. I stand outside their door and pray that they'll go to bed...good luck.
Oh yeah...been there, done (still doing) that! We don't get screaming and crying much anymore but lots of noise and playing around in their rooms (kicking walls, throwing their stuffed animals, singing, etc). I used to think it was just b/c there were two of them - they fed off each other - but Adam is in his own room and he plays by himself, noisily, just as much as the other 2 did. At least he's not keeping anyone up.
When we know they are ok - we just walk away. We give them maybe 1 or 2 warnings and then if their messing around continues, they lose their blankies, or stuffed animals or their night light (or all 3 some nights!). When J&S mess around, they get fewer warnings lately b/c I know they know better now.
It gets a little easier when they start 'getting' the consequences and your consistent response to it all...
# We are just going to ignore their manipulative asses...they're not hurt, they're spoiled, and they're working us...we're done.
*tough love sucks doesn't it? I haven't blogged in a bit since our vacation, but Im about to blog just about this topic.*
# We are going to drink heavily every night to recover our sanity (this one is a complete lie...maybe...probably...definitely).
*uh, yea, duh girlfriend!*
We went throught the request phase and it drove me nuts. The only one I gave into was potty because I didn't want to have to find the extra mattress pads to change the sheets in the middle of the night.
I felt like the meanest mom ever, but at the end of the routine it's time to go to bed. Period. Talking? Say goodbye to a toy. More noise? Goodbye to another toy. It only took them a couple of days to get the consequences and then just a warning sufficed if it was needed at all. What a world of difference.
And most recently when I was so sick I could barely stand up they went upstairs and put themselves to bed. For 3 days. At 38 months. And I have never been more thankful, or proud of them.
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