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Thursday, June 23, 2011

Living on a Whim and a Prayer...avoiding all shit-astrophes...

That's how I live my life...apparently.

Gee, I never meant to...

Guess that's how I got into this mess in the first advanced planning.

(unless you count trying for months to get pregnant, keeping immaculate personal records, going to every single IUI appointment, taking rounds upon rounds of drugs to get pregnant on time every time, following all of the instructions for my IVF religiously, and then remembering every single thing anyone had ever told me about being pregnant...good, bad, or otherwise)

Remember when I took the binks away?  I just did it.  I didn't know I was going to do it.  Husband was informed by a text message while he was working out at the gym.  It was just done because I was totally sick of the build-up.

I hate build-up.

Not residue (although that's kind of annoying too)...just build-up.

I also hate talking about the same inevitable shit over and over again.

It drives me nuts.

It is for this reason that I chose yesterday to potty train the Crazies.

Well, not only that reason...I also chose yesterday because we were stuck inside the house all freaking day long.  We had to wait for the Salvation Army to come get some dressers (yes, the desk is en route...YIPPEE!!!).

So, what else to do on a really hot day with nowhere to go...learn how to pee in a pot.

Am I admitting that I chose to potty train the Crazies because I had nothing better to do??? judgement, right?  Didn't we have to sign a pledge or something to be nice to each other?

Anyway...I made the decision very quickly...and never looked back...well, maybe once or twice.

Here's how it went:

  • Great...the Crazies are up way too early.
  • You're going to read some books while Mommy tries to "finish some things up."  That's code for "trying to catch up on blogs," but no one needs to know that, right?
  • pooped?  I'll be right up.
  • both pooped?
  • Well, guess what?  No more diapers today...we're going to start our potty training.
  • Sorry, but I don't care if you want a diaper.
  • No, no diapers.  Not're becoming a big boy and a big girl today.  
  • Don't you want that?
  • NO?  Too freaking bad!!!  I want that!!!
  • Get in there and brush your teeth.
  • Go downstairs.
  • No, you don't get any underwear until you pee on the potty once.  If you pee once, you get, and an M&M.
  • Shit!  OMFG!!!  Do we even HAVE M&M's???
  • Oh, thank God...saved by chocolate once again.
  • Here is your fruit and your some TV and I'll call you in 20 minutes to try to go.  
  • Remember, if you go once you get to wear big boy and big girl underwear.
  • No, you can't sit on the couch.
  • WHY?
  • No, you can't sit on my chair.
  • WHy???
  • You can sit on your lawn least I can hose those suckers off if I need to.
It went from there.
Each child had an accident...pee only.  Matt had a Hershey squirt in his drawers, but no major shitastrophe.

Of course those accidents were on carpet and a padded fabric dining room chair...thank you very little...

Thank God...I would have puked.  I nearly puked while putting it into the toilet the one time that I had to.  I couldn't imagine cleaning it off of carpet (yes, I know it will happen, so save your snarky little comments for some other newbie)!!!

We went in increments of 20 minutes all day long...I would have them sit for 2 minutes each time.  We watched a lot of television in the morning, but I finally let them go outside around 11:15.  Then, Salvation Army came and got our stuff and they were enamored with the "big twuck."

I used a diaper for naps, but immediately got them back in underwear when they woke up.

When Husband got home, I had to rush out for some Cars and Princess stickers and new underwear as promised.  I quickly gave him instructions and trusted my gut that he'd be fine.  He didn't look as if he agreed, but I had shit to do.

By the time I got back, everything was fine.  M&M's had been handed out and everyone was happy.

I know that all of our days won't be this easy, but if this Whim and a Prayer shit keeps working for me, I'm going to keep doing it.

Question:  I need to go to spin this I send them to the Kids' Zone in a diaper?  Stop and get Pull-ups?  Or send them in underwear and hope for the best?  (Note:  I don't really think the third option is very nice, but it sure is what I'd like to do)


Amy said...

Once started, you can't go back. I vote for option #2.

Twin Tornados said...

I have one potty trained and one almost potty trained! For the first week, whenever we left the house I would put E in a pull-up but he was always good about telling me when he had to go. I have just recently started taking him out of the house without a diaper or pull up and its going good. I keep a potty seat in the back of my SUV just in case! good luck!

MandyE (Twin Trials and Triumphs) said...

I saw Christina comment somewhere, if your kids are ready, then it shouldn't be stressful. I know our Baby A was ready...but it was still stressful...but I know what Christina means.

[The stress was mostly about me...I DID NOT WANT to clean up stuff from the carpet...AND I was scared to leave the house for a week...but that's the way I (tentatively) roll...]

Once we went to undies, Baby A hasn't worn anything else (except a diaper for nap and overnight). But...the girls were on a very tight leash for weeks after we trained / i.e. no one else would have had to deal with them. I personally wouldn't do a diaper, so I'd vote for Option 2 or 3.

What time did you break out the wine yesterday??? ;)

Carrie27 said...

If it's only been one day, I would do pull-ups/diaper. I really tried staying home with them for a few consecutive days and when they had no accidents for at least two straight days we let them wear underwear in public.

Jamie said...

We started in Big Kids Pants for the first few days and it was great (or as great as potty training can be). Then my MIL decided she did not want to clean up poo, so she forced them in to pullups, which they were in for approximately a month...until I decided they were not getting the full exposure because Pull ups hold waater like a diaper.

In June, we had extra help coming in during the week, so I switched them back to Big Kid Pants. We take a potty ring anytime we leave the house (that way they can actually sit, and I won't get grossed out). They have done wonderfully. We are being patient, because the #2 is hard to master...but as I have been told a million times...You will not send them to high school in a diaper!

If you are full fledge on the Big Kid Pants...DO IT...Full Force. Make everyone else adapt...even the teachers at the gym. They can handle it; just remember to pack extra shorts and Big Kid Pants.

I have faith that you can do this, and I am awaiting the funny stories that will come with it!

Best of Luck!

Heather (One Take On Life) said...

I used pull ups when we went out at first and called them training underpants and told my daughter she couldn't go potty in them. Or use a diaper for this one time, but tell them Mommy wants to see if you can keep this dry while she's away.

I wouldn't do underwear day 2 out in public, because if they have an accident in the daycare, they will call you to deal with it, I am guessing. And what kid is going to remember to go potty day 2, when they are in the midst of playing with toys that aren't theirs?

I found a sticker chart works for my daughter and M&M's in the beginning. Oh and I recommend ordering a portable potty seat for using in public. They don't work perfectly but they do the trick.

Mom said...

Pull-ups sound right to me too.

Congrats on doing this - only a few days of concentration in the long run

Marcia (123 blog) said...

I suspect ours will go something like this even though I would want to have a plan in place...

Good on you - so what did you decide?

Manda said...

Congrats! I think jumping right in is the way to go. Keep us posted!

Lisa said...

Yay I am totally doing this with PJ after our vacation, but I never thought of underwear as an incentive. ;)

Thanks lady. :)

Deanna said...

Go, Mama! This is most likely how our training will go day we will just decide to do it.

I have no idea about the gym. Let me know what you do and how it goes! I am a little nervous about putting the potty training pressure on the girls' teachers once they start going. Maybe we will have "boot camp" over a long weekend.

Terry said...

Good for you for taking the plunge!! I still have one to go...he's good with pee (well, other than peeing upward and not in the toilet) but the poo stuff?? yeah...he's quite stubborn and I, like everyone else, do NOT want the clean up!! Again, good for you!! (keep pull ups handy)

WicketsMom said...

I would go for the Pull-Ups. I switched my son to those around age two when he started coming to get us saying "Poop change" when he had a dirty diaper. We used both Pull-Ups and underwear for a few months, until he started coming to me to ask "Do I have on a Pull-Up or underwear?" and if I answered Pull-Up he would immediately pee in it. At that point I decided he was ready to go to just underwear. (I did that over Thanksgiving when I was home with him for several days in a row.)

We still use a Pull-Up at night though, sometimes it stays dry, sometimes not, but I don't have to get up and change sheets in the middle of the night!

strongblonde said...

omg. you're my hero. b is very similar. last night he got out the pottys and told the kids to go before we put them down for bed. i was all "uh...shouldn't we talk about this and formulate a plan?" not to mention they are not even 2!!

i'm also wondering if/when you got out the alcohol!! :)

Mandy said...


Can't you help a sista out?
I have started leaving the seats out to get them used to it, and we sit sometimes, but I'm not ready to go balls out with it!

I'm totally avoiding the dumping issue. We have two of the potette plus'. When we're on the go they can go in a bag, I can totally clean that up. It's like cleaning up after the dogs!

Daffy said...

ARe you for hire? Will you come potty train Lil Duck? Plskthkx

Hillary said...

This nearly made ME pee my pants.

Andrea said...

Yay for the Crazies!! What an awesome day!! I hope today went just as well!!

btw- you had me cracking up!

Barbara Manatee said...

Glad day 1 went so well! Hope the same went for day 2!! (and 3, 4, 5....ha!) I'd think you'd have to at least do a pull up for the gym - I doubt they'd be able to truly stick to the 20 minute cycle when watching a bunch of kids. Good idea from someone else though to tell them its still underwear and they can't go potty in them.

Adam is still terrified of sitting on or standing in front of the potty. We tried to get him to sit the other night when I knew he had to poop and it took 2 of us to even get him into a sitting position on the potty and he was NOT having it. Sarah was trained at this point and Jacob wasn't too far away. Who'd have thunk that training 1 kid would be harder than twins + juggling an infant!?!? Just going with the "he's not ready" and hoping he changes his mind some day soon.

Amy said...

We're still working on the potty training. I thought things were going well with my daughter but we seem to have had some regression. Right now I'm just offering it tomy daughter, but if the other two are interested I just let them try too. This is so not a fun stage and I hb three all arond the same age! Are you doing both at he same time? Love your posts! They are too funny!

andrea said...

I just took the damn diapers away, for good. Also because I was sick of hte build up. I just said, we're doign it this weekend - the end.

She helped me "throw" away the diapers (aka, put them in a box to be donated) adn replace them with her underwear. Has been in underwear and a tshirt ever since. Sure, accidents have happened this weekend, but honestly? Not NEARLY what I expected (thankfully) and she def. recognizes when she has to go.... hoping tomorrow is the "lightswitch" day.

FWIW, I think pull-ups are the same as diapers, less mess sure, but really not much different.

krayzid0rk said...

We just started potty training as well. They eat so much candy at their moms that it didn't phase Ethan. So this girl started a chart for stickers and every pee is one and poo is 2. When he gets to 5 he gets a new hotwheels and then upped the increments to 20. We set our phone alarm for every hour and put him on. Jake tells him to push and thay works. Even if its a tiny dribble he gets a sticker. He just yesterday came to us to tell us he had to go and went poop in the potty! Its such a long messy're brave w1ith the big kid undies. He's in pull ups till he gets it more