So, the Crazies have been three for about a month.
It's not pretty.
There are some high points where they're playing independently, getting along, making up their own stories using pictures from books, painting, helping, talking, predicting, counting, alphabetting, and generally being decent human beings.
And then there's the other 98% of the time.
Let me tell you, it is wearing on me big time.
Someone told me her worst times were between 2.5 and 3.5.
Someone else told me that the twos are for exploring the boundaries while the threes are for pushing every.single.one.of.them.
We've got your standard-issue attitude (consisting of hand waving, hysterical crying, throwing their bodies on the ground, not standing in time-out, talking back, saying things like, "O-kaaaaayyyyyyy!!!" and other behaviors that I've already blocked out).
We've also got your increase in physical contact (hitting, shoving, kicking, grabbing hair, and evading Mommy's clutches whenever possible).
There has been the beginning of the ever-popular getting-up-at-the-ass-crack-of-dawn-for-no-apparent-reason. Not a big fan of that.
Oh, let's not forget tantrum-ing so loud that I can't get a word in edgewise. How am I supposed to fix a problem if they can't even hear me? And pouting? How did they learn that???
OMG...the whining...enough said.
All of these behaviors have led me to be who I don't want to be: Mean Mommy.
I yell.
I point.
I argue.
I stick my finger in their face.
I pout.
I walk out of the room.
That's not who I want to be.
I need to remain consistent though. I cannot give into every single whim or we'll be in trouble.
Hailey's latest thing has been screaming at naptime for one of her princess dolls. We have a longstanding rule that there are only soft toys in bed. A princess doll is not soft. It stays outside the crib. Hailey screamed for an hour yesterday until I finally brought her downstairs. Matt slept (thank God...he's actually been the better of the two with this threes behavior). The day before that, she was being so unreasonable that I had her sleep in the guest bed (and let me tell you...that isn't a privilege...it's a mess in there and she wasn't allowed to bring any of her pals...the injustice!).
Then, when I picked her up from Kids' Zone yesterday, the ladies told me something. They told me that Hailey was playing with the dolls and was spanking it. Then they told me that she was talking really mean in the doll's face. My heart broke...is this what I'd been doing?
I've always said you can tell a lot about a parent from how her children treat their dolls. Hailey has always been so loving and careful. This is just not what I wanted to hear...because it really made me look in the mirror.
You guys know me...I don't complain a lot about this parenting thing. I actually quite like it most of the time. I can always find the humor in situations and really try to enjoy this time I have with my kids. I feel that it is a privilege to see how they grow and become little people. It really is amazing. This is just hard though...seriously.
Sorry for the vent...I'm feeling a tad discouraged though. Given the fact that Matt woke up at 6:03 AM saying that he had to poop (which is actually a good thing) and didn't go back to sleep, I'm feeling very thankful that it's a ballet/swim day. I think I'll need a break by 9:30.
12 comments:
I have done three year olds. Twice, but not at the same time. Yet. It is a killer. They are much more difficult to wrangle than their two year old selves.
I have about 3 months and I am back in the trenches with you.
Don't be too harsh on yourself. It is a really tough gig. Today is a good day because today you get to start again. And you can take this insight and handle things differently. They will test you and push you. But you are a tough cookie and you can take anything they can give. And then some. x
I love Multiple Mom's answer :)
You do know you're scaring me, right?
I just sympathise with you but agree you have to be consistent - and we do know you're great at that.
Hopefully, this two shall pass???
This doesn't make me look forward to 3 if it's worse than 2. But you gotta hang in there, and be consistent, like you said. Maybe ask Hailey why she did that? Maybe it was good you found out because it can help you handle things better? Sometimes this shit is hard.
It's suppose to get easier!!!!!
Maybe they're still adjusting to the new schedule of school and activities. I wouldn't beat yourself up too much, the mother I saw last night totally shook me! Glad you can vent and start anew.
I can imagine how bad that doll incident felt. I get that sometimes when one of my girls repeats something I've said to the other...it is such a reminder of the power we have over their little hearts and minds!
As bad as it feels, though, I think three is a stage where there's just got to be a lot of discipline, even if it feels like that's all you're doing at times. It's not, it won't last forever, and you will all get through it!
My thing is I need to be consistent, but train myself to do it "better"--without yelling or losing my temper. Is it possible??
Oh man! You just wrote a post on exactly how I feel. How I've been feeling and what the kids have been doing to make me crazy, insane and a psycho mom.
My girls were playing Barbies the other day and my oldest (3) took one Barbie and started spanking the other Barbie. I had NO idea where she got that from, since I have never said the word "spank" and have only swatted her a couple of times when her 3-year-old self would not stop giving me attitude and started hitting me.
It may just be one of those 'boundaries' that they get to and act out the hardest... without anyone knowing how or why.
My two-year-old, has turned into a two-year-old.. and I can see how the next year and a half will make me more crazy than I thought I would ever be.
And why oh why oh why.... do our support systems (husbands, friends, other moms) act like we're the bad parents, crazy moms, etc. when they are going through it too?!
I'll send you my 4 year old and you'll change your opinion on the age of 3.
I really think every child is different at every stage. E was fussy and difficult around 1, K was difficult at 2, and A is difficult at 4.
My mornings with A have been rough lately and I really want them to be happy. I try to breathe and walk away from the situation, but she is stubborn and we don't have time in the morning for stubborn we have to get out the door.
you know what scares me? That I think Adam will be more of a handful than the twins were put together at this age! He's already more stubborn.
Loved MultipleMum's comment! You ARE one tough cookie!!
It is so hard to be a toddler parent!
I'm not looking forward to 3 based on your stories and many others I've heard.
Nathan is our rule follower and loves to tell his sister what to do. He will repeat any sort of disciplinary comments we make to her, so it's almost like she has 3 parents yelling at her.
:( yikes. this sucks. glad you have a place to vent and find support though.
for the record? you always seem good natured and able to laugh at the crazy! you're a role model as a parent. no joke.
hang in there.
I HATED the 3s. HATED them. I'm already strongly disliking the 5.5 point too. I can't imagine the teenage years.
Oh dear! I have a two year old daughter right now that may send me to the funny farm. If she's worse at three I might as well just check in now and live there!
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