There are many moments that have been creeping their way into my mind lately...whether they're disturbing, weird, or just plain freaky, they are on my mind and I must share.
Don't "disturbing," "weird," and "just plain freaky" mean the same thing? Yes, I'm being nominated for that very important writing award that starts with a P. Don't be jealous. My writing is awesome.
Anywho, here are my moments:
- The moment you reach your hand into the garbage disposal and pray to God that it doesn't spontaneously turn on.
- The moment that you are finally convinced that the little black speck that you keep seeing in your field of vision is, indeed, a bug and you're actually not losing your sight.
- The moment you realize your children are beating the living shit out of each other rather than just actively playing.
- The moment that the one question your daughter had for you at 3:17 AM is turning into a game of 20 Questions.
- The moment you realize you've slept through your alarm and you didn't shower the previous day, so you can't even skip that.
- The moment you sit down on a public restroom seat only to realize that it's disturbingly warm.
- The moment that you realize that a really cool function of your new iPhone is to reverse the camera so you can take a picture of yourself, but it's 6AM when you catch a glimpse of yourself. THEN you wonder how anyone could possibly wake up next to you and want to have sex with you...EVER.
- The moment that you realized you just encouraged your son to pee in the bath that you have no intention of redrawing...and then he plunges face down to "swim."
- The moment you sit down on the toilet and realize you forgot your phone. What on Earth will you do NOW? Actually take a crap???
- The moment you realize you just wrote a blog post including some pretty disturbing things about yourself, but don't care at all because these things happen to everyone.
What are some of your moments?
12 comments:
There is something seriously wrong with you! Yes,these are special moments, but you just shared them with your community! By the way, now I want an iPhone like yours!
In keeping with the potty theme you have going on...the moment you relax and realize there's no toilet paper. Hmmm...what to do???
;)
I love this post it had me cracking up! I wont lie I have fear of the disposal too!!
I could have written this post and I never realized until just now that the cat meows and purrs. Our speakers are off 99% of the time.
I have scared (or scarred, ha!) myself quite often with the reverse camera on the iPhone. NOT a pleasant sight when I'm not expecting to see my own slightly crazy expression reflected back at me. (On the other hand, though, have you tried watching yourself and blinking or moving your eyes around? There's a split-second delay that makes it look really weird.)
So glad I'm not the only one who feels lost in the bathroom without my phone...it's my few minutes of alone time! : )
Such a great list! I just realized the new iPhone has that reverse camera too and I was like, "Do I really have that many chins from this angle??"
Oh and if it makes you feel any better, I still stuff all 4 of my kids in the tub together at the same time and if someone has to pee, I don't exactly encourage them to get out of the tub.
#7 made me snort out loud. Too good.
The moment I realize that I am that smelly person at the gym that I usually hate. Too much sweat for my own good.
I love how you say the things the rest of us aren't brave enough to!
I hate warm toilet seats...blech! AND I hate sitting down w/o a book, magazine or my phone!
The moment when I'm at work and I see all the people in the new employee training and I think to myself, "I just want to bust in that room and yell RUN! RUN! RUN!"
yep on # 8 and 9 for sure :)
why does he have to pee in the tub every.single.time?????
The disposal one scares me, too.
The moment I hear absolute silence from all three kiddos....I never know what I'm going to find.
#6 is the WORST.
so is #7, this happens to me often and I am typically freaked out!
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