Ummm...Please Don't Steal My Craziness...Okay? Thanks!

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Tuesday, January 4, 2011


Yes, I have to write one.
No, I don't want to.
Yes, I have to.
No, I didn't think it would be this hard.
Yes, I am quitting my "job."  You know...the job that still validated me as a real person capable to contributing to society...yeah, that's the one!
No, not my job of "snot wiper-ass wiper-referee-hug giver-laundry manager-meal preparer-mother."
Yes, the job I had when I was a real person...B.C. (Before Crazies)...when I was a teacher.

I guess you could say I'm still a teacher.  I demonstrate.  I model.  I provide scaffolding...only on a much smaller scale.

Or on a much larger one depending on how you look at it.  After all, I am providing the Crazies with the skills and abilities to one day become a fully functioning adult, right?

That's pretty big.

My FMLA is over and I must resign from my county.  I haven't written the letter yet, but I will.  I may cry.  I may laugh.  I may wonder if they're going to make me jump through hoops when I got back.  The way I figure it, if I was already tenured when I had the Crazies, I should be just as capable, right?  Puhleeze don't make me jump through those hoops again...for serious.

Anyway, I will do it...I will "officially" be unemployed for the first time in a whole lotta years.

You may wonder what I did before I found my love of teaching (and wiseass middle school kids) and I'm going to tell is a run down on the jobs I have held...and lost:

  • Cashier at Marshall's - actually helped open the store...what a bitch that was, but at least it was clean!
  • Waitress at Houlihan's - love their Shrooms!
  • Worked at an inpatient home for schizophrenic adults that were over 60 and also mentally retarded.
  • Greeter at a car dealership (i.e. pretty girl that everyone got to stare at while I dressed horribly).
  • Car salesperson (God, hated this, but did make a good amount of money...they actually called a few years later and asked if I wanted to manage an Infiniti dealership...WTF?).
  • Quit b/c they wanted me to work 9-9 Monday through Saturday...that left very little time for partying.
  • Temp agency - they placed me at the World Trade Center in Baltimore (yes, that is a real place and it did not get blown up...too soon?) and I made it for one day.  I couldn't figure out or afford the parking.  I hated the walking.  It was just too hard.
  • Temp agency placed me with a marketing firm.
  • Customer service manager with said marketing firm.
  • Quit b/c I was sick of making rich people richer.  
  • Had no job...cue mother hyperventilating every day.
  • Waitress job at local seafood joint.
  • Went back to school for a Master's degree in Education...achieved that in one year (while working at seafood joint and student teaching...I was a psycho).
  • Taught 5th grade for a year (maybe 2) was okay.
  • Moved to NJ and taught 7th grade math for 2 years...loved it.
  • Moved to MD and taught 8th grade Algebra for 3 years (maybe 4...I have no concept of time)...loved it.
  • Had job = mother.
Now I'm unemployed...nice
What was your craziest job?  Most favorite job?  Least favorite job?