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Tuesday, January 11, 2011

1-2-3 Eh, Not so Much...My Guide To Not So Magical Parenting

So, I've been reading 1-2-3 Magic and even though I'm not done with the book (and who would want to give their overwhelming support to an unfinished book?), I can honestly say that the Crazies have had some positive changes around our house.  Husband and I are even getting along better in terms of how we discipline the Crazies.  There may just be something to this "having a cohesive plan on how to raise your kids" thing.

Who knew?

Either way, I'm not going to talk about that right now (what a waste of 2.5 seconds, huh?) because as stated earlier, I haven't finished the book yet.  

You would think I could do better than this considering it's the only piece of reading material in my bathroom...guess we can all tell how much "alone time" I'm sneaking off to have, right?  

TMI?

You'll survive.

I've been thinking about some of my not-so-magical moments of parenting lately and decided that it doesn't really count until I put it on this blog.  So, here you go:

  • When you're daughter is having a complete mental breakdown because she doesn't want to take off her new dance clothes, laughing until you cry is not a solution.

  • When your son wakes from his slumber, it's not really "nice" to point and laugh...and then have his sister do the same thing because he has "kooky hair."

  • When your daughter is having a fit because you said "no" to her wearing her new ballet slippers to school on a frigid morning, turning up your music is not an effective solution.

  • When your son is running around with his lovey right after bathtime and you hear him saying "Louie take bath," don't ignore him because you're too tired to get your ass off the floor.  Go in and rescue Louie before he's all wet in the tub.  Oh, and whatever you do, don't vigorously shake Louie and then say, "there, all fixed...time for bed!"  That's just wrong!

  • When your Crazies (you have them too, right?) beg to watch another episode of "The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse," don't let them do it without making sure that they declare their love for you.  Also, make them realize that the only reason you're letting the TV rot their little brains is because you love them very very much...not that you're trying to write a blog post b/c they got up entirely too early from their naps.

  • When your daughter has been harassing your son all afternoon, don't turn a blind eye when he pushes her down on the floor.  You're not doing anyone any favors.  Oh, and most certainly DON'T FISTPUMP with your husband because you secretly thought she deserved it.

  • When your son is asking you for the millionth time to play "twain twacks," don't fake chores that you "have to get done."  Be honest with him...he'll understand, right?

  • When either child has a death grip on something that they're not supposed to have.  Don't get into a tug-of-war...and most certainly, don't let go right when you know the child will suddenly fall backward letting go of the object.  That's just not nice!!!

  • When your son comes in the house, don't let him viciously kick his shoes off (knowing that one of them is going to kill your delicate Shell Lamps one day) just because it amuses you to see that he can always get one foot and not the other.  He'll get it one day...give him time (and protect your lamps)!

  • When your daughter is watching the debate you're having with Husband over her new dance outfit, don't simply ignore every little word of insistence that is flying out of her mouth.  Most certainly, don't continue your conversation without so much as a glance in her direction.  She can't have the blue one...it's against the rules.  You know best.

  • When your son is being carted through Target, please don't laugh your ass off every time you hit the bra section.  It's bad enough that he is screaming "BOOBIES!!!  BOOBIES!!!"  A laughing mother just makes it worse.

So, there you have it.  My most recent parenting flubs.   I'm pretty sure that most of them have taken place over the past few days.  Being sick makes me a lazy parent and I have sucked at it lately, but I am getting damn good at this 1-2-3 Magic stuff!  Go me!

I have so many posts to write...
  • We went to a great museum with my Dad and I have a ton of pictures that I need to edit.  
  • I'm still so pissed about this AZ thing and I can't stand when people tell me to pray for the shooter's soul...just can't do it.  He is mentally deranged...he lost his soul long ago...I'm pretty sure that makes me callous and that I'm going to Hell for saying out loud, but c'est la vie, right?  What else? 
  • Oh yeah...vertigo sucks.  
  • Hailey starts dance on Thursday...she can't freaking wait.  
  • Matt looks adorable in his train conductor's outfit.  
  • Oh, and I actually plan on finishing 1-2-3 Magic this week to be able to give it my full endorsement (which I'm sure everyone is waiting for).  
  • A fellow preschool parent offered to watch the Crazies if I needed to hit up a doctor for my vertigo...very nice, but I feel so weird about it...I don't know her very well.  My feelings on that really soon!