Ummm...Please Don't Steal My Craziness...Okay? Thanks!

People I Love...follow along if you're so inclined!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Say What Wednesday...

4:50 AM

Matt:  Mooooommmmmyyyyy!!!!  I all wet!  Mooooommmmyyyyy!!!
Mommy (stumbling out of bed and into the Crazies' lair):  What's wrong, honey?
Matt:  I all wet.
Mommy (feeling around in the darkness):  Oh, ew, gross, okay, let's get you changed.
Matt:  Mmhmm.
Somehow I was able to get wipes, a diaper, and a new pair of unmatching jammies ready for him...I still have no idea how I managed this feat.
Mommy (whispering as to keep Hailey asleep):  Okay, we'll get you all taken care of and then go back to bed.
Matt (whispering because he understands my desperation to not have two Crazies awake at this hour of the morning):  Okay, Mom.
As I go to take his diaper off, I realize that Captain Pecker has made his way to the top of the diaper.  Well, how the hell did this happen?  Husband did baths last night, but he is entirely capable of putting a diaper on.  OMG...is Matthew playing with his weewee???  Yes, these are my thoughts in the middle of the night.
I continue changing the diaper and putting his jammies on when he becomes very interested in what I've chosen.
Matt (in regular voice...did he forget the "deal" we had???):  Oh, Mommy...what's this?
Mommy (squinting in the dark):  Oh, I'm sure it's Buzz, okay?  Is that okay?
Matt (whispering again):  Oh yeah...I yike Buzz.
He actually went back to sleep after that...for a while.  I didn't, but whatev, right?

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Mommy:  Guys, I don't feel well today.
Hailey:  Mommy, EAT!
Matt:  Yes, Mommy...you'll feel better if you eat.
Mommy (taking a bite):  Good idea guys!
Matt:  You feel better now, Mommy?
Mommy (lying through her teeth):  Yes, thanks guys!
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Changing Matt's diaper one day:

Mommy:  You went poop?
Matt:  Yeah, let's change my diaper (as he hoists himself onto the couch).
Mommy:  Okay...then we'll eat lunch.
Matt:  Yeah, I eat poop.
Mommy (incredulous that my sweet angel just said that):  WHAT?
Matt (laughing):  Yeah...I eat poop...I love to eat poop!

Great, the potty humor has started already!

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Driving the Crazies home from preschool one day:

Mommy:  What did you have for snack today?
Hailey:  Mmmmm...dog bones.
Mommy:  WHAT?  Did you just say "dog bones?"
Matt:  Yeah!  Dog bones!
Hailey (giggling):  Yup...mmmm...
Matt (laughing):  Yum!
Mommy:  No, really...what did you have for snack?
Both:  DOG BONES!
Mommy (clearly not getting anywhere):  Did you paint today?

Sometimes you just gotta cut your losses.

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Thanks to Missy for reminding me to write these little ditties down!