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Thursday, January 20, 2011

Check Me Out!

Getting a little serious on a multiples blog...check me out here!

Feeling Old Much?

  • Sitting in the big chair reading to the Crazies.  I was still in my jammies b/c it was a snow day.  The girls were flying free, but were being fucking crushed to death squished by the Crazies' heads!  So, every time they sat back down with a new book, I felt the need to lift my tittie up and prop it behind their a damn airplane neck rest.  Nice, huh?

  • In the library tutoring a student.  I'm rubbing the corner of my eye and feel something bumpy.  I wonder what disease I've contracted now and start to wonder which doctor will be seeing me next when the truth dawned on me.  Those aren't bumps...they're fucking wrinkles.  It was bad enough that I could see my wrinkles, but feeling them?  Totally out of the question.

  • Changing Matt one morning on the floor.  He's laying between my legs which are sticking straight out in case he tries to escape.  He takes one look at my bare foot (and an unsightly little patch of skin that resides on the outside of my big toe) and starts screaming, "MOMMY...WHAT'S THAT???  TAKE IT OFF RIGHT NOW!"  Sorry, Buddy...even if "Christine (my nail tech)*" takes it off, it just grows back.

  • God, the next one I don't even want to admit, but I will...because I love you guys so much (and because I'm pretty sure no ex-boyfriends are reading anymore...if you are, turn away!!!!).  I got really lazy or so tired I couldn't even see straight when I showered and really didn't want to make a mistake with this one, so why risk it? and stopped "landscaping" for a while...and liked it.  I can totally understand what women of the 70's were thinking.  It's so much easier, but won't fly with a bathing suit...I get that.  I cleaned things up recently...Husband was thrilled.

  • My hands...what the fuck is happening with my hands???

  • I like my shape, but need to work on my texture...that was my conclusion as I was spinning around like a tard the other morning**.

  • Let's not even talk about my knees...I have always thought I had fat knees due to my high school boyfriend who told me that if I could squish my knee together to form what looks like an asshole, I have fat knees. that I've had this knee surgery, things are even worse.  Who has fat knees????

  • My pants were too short to wear with my snow boots...which I wore in public.  Oh, the humanity!!!  I have never done that before and wonder what I was thinking.  Guess I need a full length mirror on the main floor!
So, I took a picture that Husband took of me from a family gathering and I made it "better."  Too bad I kind of like the original better!  Ha...take that air brushing!!!

*  Christine isn't her real name...just saying.
**  That means I was slow with the front, but lightning fast when I got around to the back.  I was like a naked female Flash Gordon (or the Tasmanian Devil)!