Ummm...Please Don't Steal My Craziness...Okay? Thanks!

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Friday, January 21, 2011

Friday Night Leftovers

Brought to you by Danifred:
  • Finally found some sound reasoning about why I use the word "fuck" on my blog...check it out (very short read).

  • Whenever Matt is getting upset about something (typically the fact that we're upset at him for something), he stops crying, gets very serious, balls up his little fat fists, and screams says, "Mommy!  Please listen to me...just listen to me!"  He then proceeds to explain what he was doing and why.  It's typically pretty logical too.  This kid is too smart for his own good.

  • Hailey throws a fit if I try to take off her "dance stuff" after dance class, so I let her keep it on all day...and she loves it.  There are some battles that I just won't fight.  Sleep in your leotard...I don't care and you look cute...we both win.

  • Why don't they make cheesesticks in American Cheese flavor?  It's the Crazies' favorite, why not?  Huh? 

  • I totally made the Crazies clean/organize their playroom in search of a toy that wasn't down there.  It was awesome.  They were so focused and put everything where I told them to it belonged.  We still haven't found the missing toy, but I now have one less job to do this weekend.

  • When you're waiting to turn at a green light and the person in front of you doesn't pull into the intersection, do you want to kill them as much as I do?  Am I alone here???  The rule is that you pull out and if the light turns yellow, you can still make your turn.  If you don't pull forward, you're stuck behind the fucking white line and you have to wait for another fucking light cycle...WTF???

  • Still reading 1-2-3 Magic...have successfully used several techniques from it, but haven't actually finished it yet!!!  I should be doing that rather than writing this...for serious.  It's not even that long...enough excuses...I'm going to finish it RIGHT NOW!

  • Haven't drank any wine since Sunday...What the What???

Brought to you by Dolli-Mama:

Okay, what have I done for myself lately?  This week's "gift" was a night of lovely sushi.  Granted, it was sans pinot grigio due to the vertigo, but it was still yummy.  If only I hadn't been interrupted by the Crazies' dance party...fist pump!!!
Image credit...isn't this sushi cool looking?  This was NOT the sushi I had!

Next week Sister is coming into town, so I'm sure there will be a few things we can get into!

What have YOU done for yourself lately???

    I'm over here now!!!

    Wow...busy blog week for me.  Check me out over here now...Shell is awesome and her blog is almost completely anonymous (I'm jealous!!!!), so she can really say whatever she wants.  

    She gave me the floor, so I said whatever I wanted...what else is new???

    Brain Scan Complete...I've Only Lost Part of my Mind! (pictures too...yes, I have sharing issues)

    So, we discussed in this post my worries about my brain scan...everyone worries about the unknown.  I know it's normal.  It doesn't mean that it still doesn't suck though.

    I arrived mostly on time for my appointment...didn't matter though b/c I still had to wait.  Shocker!

    I went in.  I took off my rings and my watch.  I locked them away and then gave the key to the tech...and said, "I can trust you, right?"  WTF is wrong with me?

    She asked if I ever had a brain scan before.  I answered, "no."  She proceeded to tell me to lie down and that it would take about half an hour.  She offered my a blanket.  I took it.  She then strapped this Hannibal Lecter looking thing over my head.

    Image Credit

    The panic started to set in a little because I'm claustrophobic...okay, I'm a lot claustrophobic.

    She put in some sponges (gross...they've probably been used by so many people that day and they're touching my head...gross) in the "cage" to ensure that I can't move around.  Apparently that's really important or something...I wasn't listening because of the ear plugs that were definitely incorrectly inserted.

    Couldn't fix them though b/c of the "cage."

    She mentions something about getting a 20 minute nap (pretty likely considering that my oxygen levels are severely dropping due to hyperventilation) and rolls my ass into the machine.

    Thank God Sister told me to close my eyes before I went into the machine because I think that saved my life...literally.

    Deep breaths...

    Scenic imagery...


    You're not going to die...

    This is for a good cause...

    Yes, they can see you if you start to freak out, but you can only flail your legs, so get it straight before you panic...


    Fuck...don't wet your pants...
    If you wet your pants, you might get electrocuted, so only mild panic, okay?

    Who am I talking to?



    Did I just fall asleep...shit, I'm not supposed to move.

    My brain will be all blurry...

    It's not a picture, dipshit...

    Well, it kinda is, but I'm sure they have auto-focus or some shit like that to steady the image...

    What the fuck are these noises???

    Am I moving?  I'm pretty sure I'm moving.

    "Okay, we're half way through...I'm going to inject you with the contrast dye now and we'll finish up."

    (weakly)  "Okay."

    Keep your eyes closed...if you see this cage, you're going to shit yourself.

    "Just a little prick right here (that's what she said) and we'll get you back in.  It's completely water soluble, so you'll just pee it right out later."

    "What color will it be?"

    "Clear.  Here we go..."

    God, she said that like it's a fucking amusement ride...

    Those people are freaks...

    Okay, halfway through...I can do this...

    Don't open your fucking eyes...

    What the hell is that light?

    Don't open your fucking eyes...


    Did I just fall asleep again?  How is that happening???  

    I'm going to go deaf b/c I don't know how to work ear plugs.

    I wonder if most people know how to work ear plugs.


    OMG...I have the worst itch EVER on my nose... it's on my eye...

    Don't chew your gum...why do you still have gum anyway?  Is that even allowed??? 

    Did I just fall asleep again?  God, my brain is going to be so fucking blurry!!!


    "Okay, we're all done."
    Don't open your eyes until she removes that "cage."

    "Are you okay?  A little dizzy?  (cue personal story about her own bout with vertigo)"

    So, here are some of my favorite images of my brain.

    Yes, you can see my teeth.  Oh, and is my jaw broken???

    Holy bug eyes, Batman!  Why are there such gross veins in my tongue???  Gross!!!

    See all that empty space up there?  Yeah, that was probably filled with brains and knowledge before I had the Crazies.  Now it's just barren land.  Hmmm...maybe I am losing my mind!