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Wednesday, February 16, 2011

The Tantrum Breakdown - Part I

How does it happen?  Why does it happen?  Where does the rational thought go?  It's complete insanity for about 10 minutes and then it's done.  Here's my breakdown of a Matthew tantrum from this week:

  • I will put the Thomas tent up if you clean up the basement...we need an open space.
  • Okay, I do that.
  • Five minutes later, I hear them cleaning up and a small disagreement.  I go downstairs to supervise (the one time I make a vow NOT to help them clean up...after all, I could give a shit less if the Thomas tent goes up).
  • Mom, where da fire station?  I need ta put my tuck in der.
  • Over there...you guys have to pick up the big legos too.
  • Matt, you pick up the yellow and green one and Hailey, you pick up the red and blue ones.
  • Good job.
  • Keep going...you're almost done...I'll do the other colors (vow forgotten).
  • Okay, move your Alfie and Jack out of the way so I can set the tent up.  I'm really proud of you guys for cleaning up like that!
  • Watch out...stand back...here we go!
  • YAAAAYYYYYY!!!
  • I watch them with the tent for a little while...of course, each Crazy is using a different entry which means that there will be a collision, but I like to watch these things play out.  I don't step in too often.
  • Ow!  Mom, my neck!  Hailey broke my neck with her head.
  • Blank look.
  • Let me see...I don't see anything.  I'm sure you're fine.  Go ahead and play and I'm going to tie up the flap for this door so you can see when someone else is going in.
  • NOOOOOO!!!!
  • I NEED THIS UNTIED!
  • No, just leave it like that.
  • Starts to shake tent...Hailey is inside (of course).
  • Take one.
  • Still shaking and giving me his dirty look.
  • Take two.
  • Still shaking and really trying to collapse the damn thing on Hailey.
  • Take three...get into time out.
  • NOOOOOO!!!!  I NO GO TIME OUT!  I NO GO!
  • Fine, then I'll put you in time out.
  • NOOOOO!!!!  I DO TIME OUT UPSTAIRS (and promptly tries to climb the stairs)
  • Grab Matt and put him on the landing (typical time out spot...he's been trying to choose his own time out spot lately and it's sending me over the edge).
  • Copy and paste the last bullet about 12 times...then he tried to bite my foot, but gets a mouthful of slipper.  I think this is funny, but a little disturbing at the same time.  Who DOES that?
  • Matt starts screaming at Hailey for playing while he's in time out - "I NOT READY FOR FIRE TRUCK!  DO NOT DANCE!!!  GET OUT OF TENT!!!  NO HAILEY!  NO HAILEY!  NOOOOOO!"
  • I ignore him and smile encouragingly at Hailey...poor thing is trying to be so good, but it's a little unnerving when a snotty, sobbing, crazy kid is screaming at you, I'm sure.
  • Time out finally finishes.  I ask him to talk to me, but he refuses to even look at me.
  • This annoys me, but I am a little broken down.
  • Okay, it's time for naps!
  • Matt falls to his knees, throws his hands in the air, asking God why life is so cruel.
  • Hailey comes over to me, puts her arms around my shoulders, and says "I want spend more time with Mommy."
  • "NO HAILEY...TIME FOR NAPS!"
  • Okay, Matt, then get upstairs...grab your guys (Thomas trains and two stamps that he is currently hoarding).
  • NO!!!!
  • Hailey, go upstairs, get your baby and wait for me.  I'll be right up.
  • No...wanna see my Mommy (strokes my face).
  • Hailey, listen to what I'm saying and I'll be right up.
  • Okay...my baby in da kitchen?
  • Yes...
  • Let's go Matt (walk over to pick up his "guys" in the hopes that he'll follow...whether he's screaming or not, he's going upstairs).
  • GIVE ME MY GUYS!!!  I NEED MY GUYS!!!  MOMMY!  NO!  GIVE ME MY GUYS!!!!
  • We both start up the stairs, but at one point, he slaps my leg and loses his balance almost falling down the stairs.
  • This pisses me off...and scares me.
  • I'm starting to lose my temper...and my knee hurts.
Tune in tomorrow to see how this ends...I can honestly say the day was great before all this nonsense and it will probably be great after naps.  This was just a rough period...we all have them.