That's right...I don't get Twitter and I may never get Twitter.
What a disability, huh?
I've read that it's perfect for the blogger with ADD...
I could totally fall into that category.
But, alas, I do not understand how it works or why people would give a shit about what I have to say on a minute-to-minute basis.
Who has that much time?
So, here are things that I would have tweeted if I had a Twitter...I'm starting to remind myself of the Woodchuck who would chuck wood...
- This commercial is one of the most visually appealing commercials I have ever seen and makes me want to eat yogurt...or take a milk bath...can't figure out which one right now.
- If you're not friends with me on FB, you missed this little ditty:
- I have a "friend" who is giving up FB for lent...what is sinful about FB? Voyeurism? Slothiness? Envy? Help me out here...
- If I had a bazooka this morning, Dog would be dead...for serious.
- I am keeping a pair of headphones near my computer just so I don't miss any of the Jon Stewart clips about educators...he's cracking me up.
- I generally think AAA is a waste of money until I get a flat tire...then I would gladly pay more for their services.
- Why do we still have Valentine's Day balloons in my living room???
- I am so behind on reading blogs that it's almost shameful (if it weren't a completely optional extra-curricular thing to do in my "spare time").
- I am cracking up that a commenter (you know who you are) thought I'd change a flat tire on my own...do you not know me at all??? NEVER GONNA HAPPEN!!!
- Conferences for 2-year olds are a waste.
- My kids are fighting again...can I use the spray bottle tactic that worked with Dog? Or is that considered child abuse?
- When people compliment me on the Crazies' behavior, I have to stop telling them that I sedate them before going out in public...I'm starting to get weird looks.
- We stopped by a gymnastics place and Matt went ape-shit...loved it. I think we'll be signing up shortly.
- My house perpetually looks like someone just ransacked the joint.
- I can't wait for my girls' weekend in May...G.G. and Sister...all to myself!
- I think I either need to go back to work (haha...not yet) or school...I'm boring myself on a daily basis!
- I miss Target!
- Dog farts are crippling.
So, there you have it. I could be witty (or boring depending on how much you enjoy my humor) all day long...if I could figure this Twitter shit out.