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Thursday, March 24, 2011

Why I Don't Let the Crazies in Our Bedroom

Okay, let me preface this by saying that it does happen SOMETIMES (when they're sick...not puke sick - gross, but fever sick, when they want to watch me get dressed, when Husband turns his back for 1.2 seconds)!!!  However, I am not the sort of parent who is going to give these crazy kids completely free reign over my house.  

After all, they inhabit the majority of rooms in a big way...there is no way I am allowing them the same freedom in my own bedroom...and here's why:

  • They touch all of our shit.

  • They take things out of bags...things that are supposed to be IN bags.  Ya know, like Husband's iPod, weight belt, towel, or extra pair of shorts.  You could imagine his surprise after a visit from the Crazies...he's standing music-less, towel-less, and shorts-less in the middle of the gym.  Not a good situation.

  • They try on my shoes.  Yes, it's kind of cute now, but if I allow them to think it's okay, what is this going to become in 9 years?  "No, Hailey, you cannot wear Mommy's eff-me pumps to your school concert."  "No, Matt, you cannot wear my espadrilles just because it's going above 70 degrees today."  It will be madness and I refuse to partake!  Call it a preemptive strike!

  • They open my drawers and rummage around.  Let's just say there are certain drawers that are not to be opened...my bedside table houses expired drugs that I keep around just in case, money, a set of UNO cards (?), pictures of their ultrasounds, and a discarded vibrator (that's right...I went to a sex party, bought this stupid thing to "support" my hostess, and promptly refused to use it because I'm afraid I'll get electrocuted...logic reigns supreme in my brain...oh, and I keep it because it was too expensive to throw away and I don't think Goodw.ill will take it!).  Those are things the Crazies don't need to get their little hands on!

  • They always want to get up on our bed...our very high bed.  Why do two relatively short people need such a high bed?  Better yet, why do the shortest people in our house think it's hysterical to jump around said high bed while they're teetering precariously on the edges...thereby sending me into a panic and causing me to freak out and put them on the floor...where they're safe...and closer to the door so they can LEAVE!!!

  • They try to go into our closet...they'll get lost in there...it's a warzone...enough said.

  • If I let them in now, they'll never leave.

  • They touch all of our shit (yes, that was mentioned twice on purpose).

  • I think there are some places in the house that should be Crazy-less.

  • I don't think I need to open up my entire self to my children.  I deserve a sanctum too.

  • Yes, I had to look up the definition of "sanctum."  God, I need to get back to work...my brain is melting.

  • I just think that there should be some ADULT ONLY ZONES!
I know a lot of people open their entire houses to their spawn and that's fine for you...this post is about what I want to do!!!  I believed from the beginning that the Crazies' time spent in our bedroom would be limited.  This is something that I really think is important for maintaining my sanity (and probably Husband's too) on an everyday basis.  I need a place to get away from the plastic and primary colors that are currently "decorating" the rest of my house.

What about you?  Do you have any KID FREE ZONES?  Do you think I'm a horrible monster for shutting the Crazies out of my bedroom?