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Sunday, April 3, 2011

Double Duty Can Suck It

You know those guys with the big trucks...those guys who are obviously compensating for something...those guys who just don't freaking get it???

Well, one of them parked next to me this morning.

When I say "next to me," I should really say "practically on top of me."

And I was annoyed.

You're in a parking lot with lots of empty spaces and you have to squeeze your fucking huge ass truck into the space right next to MY driver's side door???

DUDE!!!  I have twins and I LEGALLY have to strap them both in.  My doors open like a normal car b/c I haven't caved yet and bought a fancy minivan and yes, I need to open the door to strap them in...DUH!!!

Oh, and guess what???  Pulling your mirrors in does NOT miraculously make your truck smaller, you douchebag!

Neither does saying, "Well, I'm in the spot...on either side," you fucking asshat.

So, when you answer with "you want me to move my truck?" in response to my exasperated "ummm...this is a little RIDICULOUS!!!" - the answer is "no."

What I want is a little common courtesy.

What I want is for you to think a little before you tuck those mirrors in...like, "hey, maybe if I feel the need to pull my mirrors in, I'm a tad too close to this other car."

What I want is for you to demonstrate to your son that thinking of others is not a lost art.

What I want is for you to get a regular sized fucking truck!!!  Oh, and if you don't because your job is that of a contractor, a construction worker, or hauling dinosaur bones across the county, that's fine, but what I want is for you to park somewhere else in the FIRST PLACE!!!  Not for you to ask me after the fact.

What I want is for you to haul your ass 20 more feet to where there's enough space for your behemoth of a truck.  Seriously, dude!!!

I felt good that I said something though.  At least he offered to move the truck...that was halfway decent, but REALLY!!!  THINK!!!

It probably won't make a difference in his future parking decisions, but whatever...I got my frustration out.  

I'm pretty sure Husband was surprised by my reaction though.  He typically would have gone OFF when we got in the car, but he was more subdued than usual.  

So, Mr. Double Duty...I'm glad that your ginormous truck is making you feel better about the possibility of other lacking attributes (what?  I'm talking about intelligence, of course...not manhood), but it's really inconveniencing the real of us...the normal people.*

*Yes, I get there's nothing "normal" about this post, but I just had to get it out!!!
Has anyone pissed you off this weekend (including those shitbrains who think April Fool's Day is still funny)?

Getting To Know You

the q's.

1. do you weigh yourself?  We don't have a scale in the house (thank God), so I would rely on the unreliable scale at the gym...until it mysteriously disappeared last week.  I couldn't be happier.

2. what's the nastiest thing you've ever eaten?  salmon skin...hate it.

3. snail mail or email?  email, but I'll snail mail thank you cards and holiday cards and birthday cards...cards in general.  No one ever gets good mail these days, so I like to do it.  It's special.

4. do you have any irrational fears...what are they?  Being alone, dying young, getting cancer...the usual.

5. do you play an instrument?  I played 5 back in the day, but I could confidently still play the piano...for serious.

6. would you rather be bitten by a snake or attacked by a bear?  Bitten...a bear would mess me up big time...at least there's anti-venom stuff that could save my life and I'd still look cute!

7. do you ever go braless in public?  No...that just wouldn't be right...for the public.

8. today i am thankful for........................?  The fact that the Crazies are still sleep...at 8:07 AM!!!  I love a little quiet first thing in the morning!

Thanks to Keely for doing this...it starts my Sunday off right!