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Monday, April 11, 2011

A Wild and Crazy Weekend (Updated)

Scene:  Dinner...local hibachi grill...

Matt:  hack...cough...cough
Me (looking at Daddy with raised eyebrows):  Was that Matt?
Daddy (with exasperated look on his face b/c he knows what that sound could hold for our future):  Yup.
Me:  Great...
Hailey:  I want fire.

Scene:  Our house...Saturday morning...

Matt (with frog in throat):  Mommy, I don't feel good.
Mommy:  What's wrong?
Matt (insistently):  I don't FEEL GOOD!!!
Mommy:  Yes, I heard that...what exactly is wrong?
Matt (annoyed with Mommy):  I don't FEEL GOOD!!!
Cue fever, cough, wheezing, moodiness (what?  He's a male...it comes with the territory), feeling that the world should end.

Scene:  Our bed...Saturday night...

Mommy:  Did you hear that?
Daddy:  Yup...should we bring him in here?
Mommy:  Well, we've gotta give him another dose of meds in like an hour...might as well.
Daddy:  I'll get him.
Take temperature again...not liking what we're seeing...decide that fevers freak us out way too much to have our precious little angel very far away from us.  So, we set him up in our bed.

He seems to fall back to sleep.

Matt (whispering and on his knees):  Mommy?  I no wanna sleep.
Mommy:  Matt, it's late and you're sick...you've gotta sleep.
Daddy:  Snore, grunt, snore...
Mommy:  Okay, lay down and try to get some sleep so you feel better in the morning.
Matt:  I no wanna...I wanna play with you face.
Mommy:  No, get off, stop that.

He tosses and turns and makes noises like he's trying to fall asleep.  When I dare to open my eyes, I realize that those noises that I am hearing is just him trying to make Mickey fall to sleep...nothing close to what I was hoping.  I marvel at how long his eyelashes are.  I wonder why I can see his eyelashes considering it's pitch black and I have horrific vision.  I try to ignore Mickey's antics.

Billy Joel (1:45 AM):  "Well, I'm taking a Greyhound..."
Mommy:  WTF?  Crap...my alarm.
Daddy:  Snore...
Mommy:  Honey, can you get Matt's medicine?  I'm going to wake him up...can't believe he finally fell to sleep.
Daddy:  Did you go to sleep at all?
Mommy:  No, I couldn't...he keeps kicking me in the ribs, knee, back, and nipple.
Daddy:  Nipple?
Mommy:  Yeah...I don't know why...I'm pretty sure I'm bleeding though...we've gotta cut toenails tomorrow night.
Daddy:  Ummmm...okay.

Mommy:  Matt, it's time to get up to take your medicine.
Matt:  slurp...grumble...cough...whine
Daddy:  Here you go, buddy...
Matt:  slurp, slurp, slurp...
Mommy:  Do you think we should put him back in his bed?
Daddy:  Nah...I think we should keep him in here...with the fever and everything.
Mommy (desperate to save her nipples):  Are you sure?
Daddy:  Yeah, it'll be fine.  I'll pull him toward me and you'll be able to get some sleep.  I'm sure it will be a rough day tomorrow...for both of us.

I'm sorry, but was this the same motherfucker who was just snoring 10 minutes earlier???  It's going to be rough for BOTH OF US???  Am I really letting the guy who actually got some sleep, but is a total sucker for a sick kid make the decisions???  Of course I am, I'm sleep deprived.

I spent the rest of the night dodging kicks from the Future Kickboxing Champ of America and wondering if sleeping next to an open flame would be more comfortable than sleeping next to the Human Oven.

I also pondered the fact that Husband could "say" that he'd pull Matt close to him, but if he was asleep, how could he even know Matt's location???

I wondered if it made me a bad mother to violently shove my son far far away from me repeatedly.

I determined that there had to be some sort of magnetic force between a mother and her child that would make him continually find his way back to my side...it was amazing.  He had to be touching me at all times.  It was kinda cute too though...

I contemplated going to sleep in the guest room (but who would save Matt from falling off the bed on my side?).

I decided Matt was DEFINITELY not ready for his toddler bed yet...he's a Tasmanian Devil.

I really thought about co-sleeping families (and I'm not talking about the rookies who do it when their kids are newborns...although, the thought of that alone scares the crap out of me)...I'm talking about the people who do it with their toddlers and young children.  How in the world do they get any sleep?

I really hoped that his fever would be gone by the morning so that I could send him to preschool.  I know he'd be a mess if we had to walk Hailey in and he couldn't stay.  I replayed that scenario in my mind 394 times.

I finally drifted off to find Matt and Husband leaving the room quietly...the sun rearing its ugly head...and my eyelids desperately trying to stick together in the hope for a few more minutes of sleep.

Scene:  Our living room...Sunday morning

Hailey (holding her snack cup of cereal and Kitty Cat):  Hiiiii!!!
Matt (froggy):  Mom, I all better...I just have a cough now.
Daddy:  Oh, I wanted you to sleep.
Mommy:  I'm okay.  I wanted to see everyone.

Proceed to lazy Sunday morning followed by a ridiculous amount of yardwork done in an even more ridiculously short span.  Fever broke, cough got better, kid still had attitude problem.  I'm pretty sure that cements the fact that I'm sending him to school this morning!


***Update:  Neither Crazy went to school today.  Matt woke up with a fever.   I got an appointment, but wouldn't have been able to work preschool in with the timing of the appointment, so she'll be tagging along...with vigorous disinfecting upon departure from doctor's office.  Male pattern moodiness continues.  We'll see what this appointment will bring.  It's with the same doctor who had to break the news to me that I had starved Hailey for the first month of her life...damn breasts.  This doctor scares me...I'll be okay...it's not about me...what's wrong with me???***