So, I got an award.
Well, I got two awards.
Well, it's the same award from two different people.
Does that count as one or two awards?
Anyway, as I write this gibberish, I am completely zeroing in on the irony that it's an award for having a "Blog of Substance."
Yup...those first four lines sure were packed with substance, huh?
Kill me now.
So, Miss Lisa and Miss Christina think I have substance...well, I may just have to prove you wrong! LOL...substantial, I ain't! See, I even used a dirty slang word!
Now, the "rules" state that I am to share seven things about myself and then pass this award along to you lovelies...I can totally do this.
- One of my most vivid childhood memories is a day that I was chosen to play the piano in front of the entire school. I wore some queer outfit with these awesome navy blue snow boots that had white fur on the top of them. They also had white pompoms that hung down and swung in my awesomeness. I was a tad nervous and had an upset stomach. I asked to use the bathroom and was allowed such a privilege. While I was in there, I may or may not have totally shit my brains out. Anyway, I didn't think anyone was in there, so I just let it flow. After all, I had a performance to deliver. All of the sudden, I hear this black girl say, "Ewwwwww...dat's nastyyyyyyy!" I nearly died. To this day, whenever I had to shit my brains out in public, I always MAKE SURE that restroom is empty. (BTW, it makes no difference that it was a white girl or a black girl, but black girls have a talent for pointing out disgusting things that white girls just lack...they're freaking awesome at it, so I'm not a racist or anything...I just point out the obvious...duh!)
- When I look good, I feel good. Call me shallow or vain or just really really brilliant, but if I'm dressed up and showered and pretty, I feel awesome. That's why I can't understand why people let themselves go so much. Don't they feel like crap?
- I never want the Crazies to stop napping...EVER!
- When I start working again, the majority of my income is going toward a place at the beach. I miss living at the beach so much and if I'm going to have summers off with the Crazies, we're spending most of our time there and no one can talk us out of it. I'd venture to guess that would be the best money ever spent in my entire life on this Earth.
- While I love wearing boots, my calves are apparently HUGE in the world of fashion b/c I have the most difficult time finding boots that fit me properly. This includes dress-up boots and rain boots. It makes me feel like one of the goons from the Popeye show back in the day (see photo). Who knew that athletic calves (that's what I call them to make me feel less fat) would size me out of an entire arena of clothes? It's freaking annoying.
- I hate loud cars...cars with loud engines, cars with loud stereos, cars with loud mufflers, motorcycles, any of that shit. Why do they all have to be so freaking loud? I throw some seriously bitchy looks at those freaks when they drive by my house. One of them may run me over one day, but whatever...I'm totally getting my point across with my dirty looks, right?
- I love love love my life. It makes me happy and I can't ask for more than that.
Okay, now I have to give this away?
Here are the "lucky" recipients:
If you have already received this or just think I'm crazy for putting you out there, then ignore me and we'll never speak again.
If you think I'm totally awesome, then tell us 7 things about yourself and we'll be best friends for ever!