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Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The One In Which I Was the Douche

That's old me!  Can you believe it?  Here's the link...

A Very Merry Unbirthday to the Crazies!!!

That's right...the Crazies celebrated their Merry Unbirthday at preschool the other day.  It was so freaking cute!  When I picked this date (way back in August, right after I dislocated my knee cap and couldn't walk), it seemed so far away, but I was so glad that it was here.

I was a little confusing for them because they know their birthday is in August, but they went with it.

After all, ice cream was involved.

Matt and Hailey got to take the Birthday Bear around to their classmates to see what colors they could find on the bear's scarf...Matt kept saying, "What you see?"  He's a nut!

Hailey was putting the candles on the pretend cake (which she kept telling us we couldn't eat) and I just love the way Matt is watching her.  See?  Sometimes they really like each other!

At this point, the other kids were singing Happy Birthday to Hailey, but once you get her in "Blessing Stance," it's hard to get her out of it.

Matt had to rearrange the candles before the other kids sang to him.

Here he is blowing out his make-believe candles.  As soon as he was done, he picked the make-believe cake up and handed it to his teacher...reminding her that it was not to be eaten.

Hailey was the first one done with her snack...the teachers told me that NEVER happens.  What can I say?  She's a junk food junkie!

This kid was determined to get every last bite...who could blame him?
After this, I got to sit on the floor with other people's snotty kid throwing themselves into my lap to read them a story...which I willingly did for fear of them smothering me with their sticky little hands.

Then we went into the playroom where they all lost their freaking minds.  They ran around like total nutjobs and fought over toys while the Crazies went to their own little corners.  Hailey threw herself into one shopping cart in particular which housed her birthday hat and a baby doll.  She would stop every now and then to play with a child, but was quickly on her way.

I loved when she was in a playhouse with another little boy and kept fighting with him to keep the door an assertive woman.

Matt went to find his "excabator" and loaded it up with blocks while admonishing other students if they came within 10 feet of his operation.

Oh, and one little boy kept head butting my leg and wiping his snot all over my jeans...that was lovely.  Time to find an escape route!

I excused myself a little early because I just had to get out of there.  Those women have a special place in Heaven b/c I could never do it.  At one point, the teacher was trying to read them a story and 7/12 of them had their fingers in their noses, 5 of them wanted to talk about their booboos, and I'm pretty sure someone peed their pants.  All of it was handled well though...I'd be ripping my hair out.

And that, my friends, is why I chose middle school.

Oh wait...this post isn't about me!  Right!!!

When all of this was over, they promptly got in the car and asked for a snack...WTF???