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Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Welcome To Newport, Rhode Island...Where Even The Upper Middle Class is Considered Poor - PART I

Holy opulent wealth, girls...

If those handbags and designer sunglasses could talk!  

I'm going to try to sum up my Girls' Weekend with Sister and GG as succinctly as possible, but I want to start off by thanking Husband.  He was a rock star who took a day off of work, continued to entertain the Crazies, cooked, cleaned, played, endured rainy days, took them to the park, bathed, cuddled, put to bed, and fell into an exhausted heap at the end of each day, but he survived.

Oh, and he keeps telling me that he "gets it" now...awesome.

Friday
  • Arrive on time.
  • Totally excited to see Sister and enjoy our weekend.
  • Wait for bag.
  • Wait for bag.
  • Wait for bag.
  • Realize bag isn't coming (yes, I was that person still standing there when the belt stopped moving...I even made a move to look behind the flaps...can't take a hint, apparently).
  • Get told that bag will probably be on next flight...they could drop it at our hotel or we could wait and receive a $50 travel voucher.
  • So, we wait...at the hotel bar.
  • We eat some nachos...drink some vodka drinks.
  • We shoot the shit.
  • Next flight arrives (late).
  • Bag is there.
  • Practically run to the car.
  • Get totally excited driving to Newport.
  • Have to follow a port-a-pot.
  • Get to the hotel.
  • Practically run to our room to meet G.G.
  • Realize she never told us how to get to the room, so we stand like dolts in the middle of the hotel trying to figure out where she is.
  • Go out to lunch.
  • Get yummy drink.
  • Eat oysters.
  • Walk around to shop.
  • Start to relax.
  • Laugh a lot.
  • Go back to the hotel for a glass of wine.
  • Realize we have nowhere to eat dinner.
  • Call one of the "quintessential Newport restaurants" to see if they have a table.
  • Nearly pee my pants when they do.
  • Drink more wine.
  • Laugh more.
  • Walk down to restaurant.
  • Listen to G.G. say how loud and dark the restaurant was (and it really was, but I was trying to look young and hip like it doesn't bother me when I can't have a conversation or see my food...but it does).
  • Walk back home.
  • Drink more wine.
  • Go to sleep...a restful sleep without interruptions...delish!
1.  Baggage Claim...for 2.5 hours.
2.  Sister totally excited to be out of the airport!
3.  Our marinade for the weekend.
4.  We finally found G.G.!  Let's get out of this hotel!
5.  MaiTai!
6.  This is how we shop.
7.  Because I'm a 14-year old boy stuck in the body of a 37-year old woman (that just doesn't sound right, but whatever).
8.  Sister by the water...I didn't want to push her in one single bit!
9.  Trying to get a decent picture before we went out to dinner...it wasn't working.

Stupid conversation #1
I have a headache.
Do you want some Advil?
No.
You're stupid.
It's just gonna get worse.
It's gonna get worse if we keep having this conversation.
Cue hysterical laughter and refilling of wine glasses!

That's all for now...I have to do this in stints b/c I keep remembering things that I don't want to forget to mention!

Hands down, if you even go to Newport, you have to stay at The Viking...incredible service and they let us abuse their "hotel car" driver...love it!