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Thursday, May 26, 2011

So, There's This Thing...

Ugh...this is making me crazy!

There's this thing I want to do...I think.

Then I think that it's not really me...but it could be.

Then I think about the fact that if I don't try it, I'll never know.

However, if I do try it and hate it, then I'll we'll be out money.

Oh, and I hate failing at there's that.

But I kind of think I'll be good at it...

I think this would be an easier choice if I worked b/c then at least I'd have an income and I wouldn't be putting out our money (that Husband earns)...

Or if my friends weren't always so busy.

Or if my family lived closer.


Here are my pros and cons:

Don't you hate crap like this???

How do you make decisions?

One of My More Brilliant Parent Moves (unless you count teaching them to say "I'll poop on you" a brilliant move)

So, let's face facts...I'm no "expert parent" like Blossom...sigh...

Every now and then, I come up with a brilliant move though...

Seriously brilliant...

I can't even believe I came up with it myself...all by myself.

Like a big girl.

Maybe I'm not such a "big girl" I munch on Cheez-Its.

Damn...these things are GOOD!!!!

I love to scrape the salt off with my teeth...yes, I'm probably spending way too much time on each cracker, but who cares.

Wait...where was I?

Oh yes...I'm brilliant.

There should be a cape with a big B on it for "Brilliant."

I know some of you were thinking it should be for "bitch," but you can suck it.

You still have no idea what my brilliant parenting move is, do you?

Geez...some people would have clicked away by now, but you've stuck around.

Kudos to you.

You rock the house (suckas).

Here it is:

Hailey hates to eat fruits or vegetables.  HATES IT!!!  She'll sit with spinach in her mouth for more than 20 minutes before I just tell her to spit it out b/c I'm sick of looking at her sour puss (yet, another time I almost used that word appropriately).

So, what is a Mom to do?

I put her on a multi-vitamin (not my brilliant move).

I pureed them and snuck them in (not my brilliant move).

Then I realized something.

When they Crazies are REALLY hungry, they'll eat just about anything!

No, I didn't starve them, but I did the next best thing.

I started serving a shitload of fruit when they first wake up in the morning.

They devour it.

They ask for seconds...


I stand triumphant in my fruit bowl tossing my own salad...

God, I'm sick.

Who cares though?  They're getting their fruit and I'm a happy (and brilliant...don't forget brilliant) mother.

You can say you got this brilliant parenting move from me.  It's not copyrighted...yet...