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Friday, June 24, 2011

Friday Night Leftovers

  • Recently, whenever Matt is offered a choice of two things (i.e. a snack or a movie), he'll say, "you pick."  Then I'll say, "Are you sure?"  Then he'll say, "Yeah, yeah, you pick."  Then I pick and, if it's wrong,  he completely freaks out...WTF???
  • I was talking to one of the supermarket checkout girls the other day...because that's what we do in these parts.  I was jealous b/c she had to get has passport for her honeymoon (when all I want to do is explore past the town limits at this point...damn potty training is making me feel trapped).  Anyway, she was lamenting about the fact that she'd have to apply for it in her maiden name and then change it when she got back from her honeymoon.  Has anyone else done this?  Do you have to go through the entire application process again?  And lay out that money again?  Or is there a name change option?  Clearly, I'm not the world traveler I had hoped to be.
  • So, I have decided that potty training is just about as annoying as actually trying to get pregnant (at least trying to get pregnant is annoying when you're infertile) because EVERYONE HAS A DAMN OPINION AND WANTS TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO!!!  That's right...whether you ask or not...just like when people used to tell me what sexual positions would make me pregnant.
  • Oh, and unless you've trained TWO AT THE SAME TIME, please wait until I ask for your's a whole 'nother ball game.

  • That doesn't include you blog guys actually had some good advice yesterday.  Oh, but wait...I ASKED YOU!!!  You guys rock!

  • Hailey was coloring yesterday and had an accident on the fabric dining room chair (erg).  She announced her accident to me, was rushed to the potty to see if anything else would come out, and went happily skipping away saying, "I had a accident...that makes TWO...TWO accidents!" like it was some kind of fucking contest...she cracks me up!

  • She kind of reminded me of the count from Sesame Street...

  • Matt has an accident and stands in it like he just pissed quicksand...helpless and panicked.

  • I had a little light surgery this week (what else is new?) and had to use a new babysitter b/c my regular one is in Hawaii (and I'm horrifically jealous).  Within two minutes of New Babysitter being here, Hailey had already told her that she loved her and Matt was still in the bathroom hiding from her.  Just when I think I have their personalities figured out, they surprise me.

  • In Matt's defense, New Babysitter is drop dead gorgeous.

  • New Babysitter gorgeousness is topped off by the fact that I literally want to shoot darts at the back of her legs just to give her that nice cottage cheese-y effect that women my age tend to enjoy so much.

  • Ah...yes, cattiness makes me feel better about myself.

  • WHAT?  Don't does...deep down, you know it works for you too!

  • Anyway, between this little surgery and the one I had two weeks ago, I haven't done push-ups in FOREVER and I'm starting to get Oprah's batwings and I don't like it one single bit...

  • Speaking of Oprah, who will we use now to justify our fatness...or to call it a disease???  We're going to be lost without all of her excuses to make us feel like it's not our fault (and it's definitely not the fault of the Frito's I ate at 9:49 last night...I could never blame them).

  • BTW, these surgeries aren't for anything's these little cysts that I get and need to get removed.  My mother called me a pin cushion yesterday...nice.

  • We're going to see Cars 2 this weekend...I can't wait.

  • Granted, I'll probably be in the potty half the time, so I'll miss all the action, but still.

  • The Crazies will enjoy immensely, I'm sure.

  • Note to self:  Get an aisle seat.
Have a great weekend and stop by Danifred's to see all of the Leftovers!

P.S. I just put myself below 100 posts on my Reader, so please don't write anymore blog posts!!!  I'm feeling very accomplished and would hate to lose that by naptime!  ;)