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Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Potty Talk from the Crazies

So, as you know, we've been potty training for a while now.  We're doing pretty well at it...Mommy had nothing to worry about...well, except touching poop.  She always worries about that.

Since we've been in New York, we've continued to excel at the potty and wanted to share some of our stories with you (as a "thank you" for giving our Mommy such good advice over the past few weeks).

  • Yesterday, we finally ventured out of the house after feeling a bit under the weather.  We went to a "diner," whatever that is.  Apparently it's pretty cool because you can order whatever you want.  Anyway, they also have public restrooms...where you don't rest, but you pee.  It's funny because as soon as we enter the restroom, Mommy starts saying "DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!  NO, DON'T TOUCH THAT!  WHEN I SAY DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING, I MEAN DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!!!"  It's hysterical...if we didn't touch "anything," we wouldn't even be able to sit down on the potty...dur.  So, we both went peepee and went back to our table.  It's so much fun to pee in a public restroom.

  • As soon as we got our lunch, Matt loudly mentioned that he "needed to go poop in the potty in the trunk."  He's so funny.  Then he said, "Excuse me, GG...I need to go poop."  Mommy got a funny look on her face, but went anyway.

  • While we were outside, she kept telling me how it was great to go in the potty, but that eventually I'd have to learn how to poop on a public toilet...blah, blah, blah...I like my potty.

  • So, I pooped in the potty in the trunk.  I'm a rockstar.

  • Then I said, "Mommy, what are you going to do with it?" about 18 times in a row until Mommy just told me that she'd "take care of it" and not to "jump out of the trunk."  Why would I jump out of the trunk?  I wanted to see what was going to happen next!  Dur...

  • Then Mommy grabbed like 18,000,000 paper towels and a plastic bag.  She started gagging as she scooped out the sizeable poop and threw it into the plastic bag.  Then she kind of looked at the potty with disdain (that's right...I know the word "disdain") and wondered what to do with the schmear (that's a NY word) that was left.  She grabbed a bunch of Wet Ones and cleaned that up too.  She's such a good Mommy...even if she kept muttering "please don't let me touch it...I'll die if I touch it" over and over.  She's funny.

  • A few minutes after we got back to our table, I noticed that Mommy wasn't eating her lunch anymore, but that wasn't my problem...I had construction vehicles to spot and announce to the restaurant.

  • Okay, so then I told Mommy that I had to go potty...she asked me if I could "hold it," so I did...I stood up and grabbed right onto my vagina to hold it.  I'm a good girl...right?

  • Then she told me to let go.  She is so confusing sometimes.

  • So, I told her that I had to go potty in the trunk.  She said, "Are you sure?  Or could you just use the potty in the restaurant?"  I told her I could.  So, I went poopy in the public restroom and was sure not to touch anything...well, almost anything.  It's hard!!!  Everything is just so new to me that I want to touch it.

  • Anyway, as we walked back to our table, I announced to GG and the entire restaurant "I go poopies, GG!!!"  People giggled, but I didn't's a big deal.
So, there are our latest little nuggets of potty training entertainment.  Mommy's doing a good job letting us tell her on our own, but she still reminds us.  After all, we're just kids, ya know?

P.S. I don't know why, but all of the sudden, I've started gagging at the smell of my own peepee...Mommy says it's ridiculous, but I learned it from watching her!  We're just delicate flowers!