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Thursday, September 8, 2011

Night Terrors are Terrifying (for me...apparently the kid has no memory of them)

My thoughts from last night in the very best recollection I can come up with:

Wow...ever since we saw the doctor, Matt hasn't had a night terror.
I won't say this out loud though...wouldn't want to jinx it.
Sleep...sleep...sleep...sleep.
Wake up with Matt...can't remember why.
Why the hell is he wearing socks?
Sleep...sleep...sleep.
Wake up with Hailey (Husband gets up...bless him)...she couldn't find her blanket.
She was lying on top of it.
Sleep...sleep...sleep...sleep.
MOMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYY!!!!
Holyfuckingshit...
What is that?
Is someone dying??
I must sprint out of bed like a fireman!
What the fuck is going on?
Which one is it?
Matt...it's Matt.
Good for you, Mother of the Year.
Go to the far crib.
Touch him...any flesh eating bacteria?
Monsters?
Is he hurt?
Nope...just screaming like a crazy man.
Dammit...I hate when he kicks the crib slats.
Shhhh...shhhh...shhhh.
Oh wait...I'm not supposed to say anything.
I'm not supposed to do anything.
I don't want to take him too far away from REM sleep.
I'm just supposed to ride it out.
What about MY REM sleep??
Ugh...it's not about me.
I'll make sure he has Louie...here you go buddy.
But he's so damn loud when he's kicking his crib...I don't want Hailey to wake up.
Maybe I'll just grab his feet really gently.
OUCH!
He kicked me!  
WTF??
I'm just trying to help, dude.
Okay, hands out of the crib.
Awww...poor kid...Mommy's here.
I just can't tell you I'm here because I might wake you up and apparently that's worse than this screaming kicking torture that we're going through right now.
That makes lots of sense.
Thanks, Doc!
HAIIIIILLLLEEEYYYYYYYYY!!!!  NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
OMG...that was said with anguish.
I feel so bad for him.
Maybe I'll just touch him a little bit.
Oh...that seems to calm him down.
Maybe I'll just rub his back a little bit.
Holy shit, it's working.
Wait...did I just fall asleep standing up?
Shhh...shhh...shhh...
That's right...go back to sleep.
Damn...I'm afraid to stop because the screaming will start again.
I'll just ease off.
That's right.
Back to sleep, buddy.
Hands out of the crib.
Quietly out of the room.
I kind of have to pee.
Screw it...back to bed right now.
I'm tired.
OMG...I'm so tired.
Ummmm...
I can't fucking sleep.
Awake...awake...awake...
Night terrors suck...for parents...kids don't even remember them.
Awake...awake...awake...
Resent...resent...resent...
Lightning.
Thunder.
Worry that I'll be awake until morning.
Fight urge to look at clock...do I really want to know what time it is?
Lightning...awake...thunder...awake.
Think about blog post.
Awake...awake...sleep...sleep...